As any good Melancholy would do from time to time, I am taking an inventory of my faults, weaknesses, and failings. It occurs to me that, having posted here for many years, there are many Dopers who have come to know me fairly well, likely to include lurkers who seldom post. While I realize this thread opens the door to some whoops and drive-bys, it is my hope that eventually, plenty of people will take the time to give it to me straight.
I would appreciate your being as specific as possible, although generalities might be helpful if the exceptions are enumerated. Please don’t be concerned that I might argue with your criticism. When I respond, it will be to seek clarification, ask follow-up questions, or ask for examples. I won’t ask you to dig up cites — just go with your gut.
This sort of exercise is often edifying for me and could help me grow. What I intend to do with the discussion is examine the criticisms, try to find inside myself what you’re pointing out, and with any luck, become a better person. Thanks for your help.
I don’t have a criticism (yet) but I have a question about something that’s been bugging me for months.
A while ago there was a pit thread in which the OP said something about some product being produced by Asians in a sweatshop. You said something to the effect that you agreed with the OP but questioned the use of the racial slur. Several posters inquired as to what, exactly, was the racial slur in the OP. You replied that, again, you agreed with the OP, you just wished it didn’t contain the racial slur.
You either didn’t come back and explain what the racial slur was or you did and it got shuffled off page one and I missed it.
I have only read with care the chess thread you contributed to some time back. (Someone else included a link to it in a thread I had about chess.) I was very impressed with your clarity and ability to speak about chess in a direct way without condescension. That’s an enviable skill.
I have not read many threads that deal with religious debating, but I have seen your name in some of them as the topics appear on the main page. So I can’t comment on that aspect of your presentation style.
I would just like to say that I admire a person who can invite criticism and who can take that as a way to evaluate the effect one has on others. My hat’s off to you for the effort, regardless of the outcome. Maybe after I’ve been here a while, I’ll have the balls to try the same sort of thing.
Actually, I’ve found that if you suspect that something about yourself annoys others, it probably does. Thus, asking them about it can only serve to keep you from correcting a fault, as most will be too polite to admit it.
I’m sure your intentions are honorable, but stuff like this comes off looking like a play for attention and sympathy.
Buck up, man, and get on with your life.
Oh, and you might want to floss a little more often.
You seem to restrain yourself, especially notceable in the pit. You don’t seem to be capable of much vitrol to posters, which can be boring a lot of the time. In short, you seem to polite for the idiocy you put up with.
You usually present a good opinion, and seem to be quite a good debater. It’s just those things that need work on.
That is from what I’ve seen, you can point me to threads where the opposite is true.
Lib: since you ask, I’ll bite. First, know this: I admire you more than all but possibly one other poster on this board. I try to learn from you; I’m hardly in a position to teach you.
Sometimes you can be – hypersensitive. The racial thing above is an example – I never saw what the deal was. Also, while it is a good thing to correct people when they (perhaps unintentionally) slur Native Americans, you might be gentler at this sometimes, if real harm to you wasn’t intended.
But I really hate to say even this, Lib. I think you’re a great guy. I know that’s not the mood and spirit with which you offered up this post, so I offered the paragraph above just since you asked specifically, which is a brave (if slightly self-centered! ;)) thing to do. I know all about meloncholia and have often been tempted to post along the lines of “What the hell is wrong with me”, but I’m just not prolific enough of a poster for this to be worthwhile here. With you, it should be. Hope you get lots of good responses.
Well, despite your explanation, I’m not sure I understand the purpose of this thread. I keep looking for a punch line.
My only criticism of you, though it has caused adequate friction, is that you have taken my criticism of some of your ideas as criticism of you as a person. You can correct me if that isn’t the case, but that is certainly the message I got.
Though I’m worthy of at LEAST as much criticism, Lib, for better or worse this my honest impression of you (truly; in honor of your baring your abdomen for the knife, I’m strive to be as honest as I can):
Positive first. You’re articulate and always willing to participate in a discussion on almost any subject.
Now negative: You’re too quick to highjack a thread through a libertarian rabbit hole. You’re too quick to drop in the word “coercion” and act like that single, undefined, undefended word should trump any and all arguments; you’re unwilling to debate your take on that word with others’.
Before I begin, I want to thank you for starting this thread. I do have a question that I hope you will answer, one that I’ve wondered about from time to time. I’ve never really had the courage to ask (and also thought that it might be impolite or might offend you). I can see that that would be a valid response. But, since you’ve asked for comments, I thought I’d ask.
The above quote relates to my question in that your ethnic heritage is involved. This seems to be true when you’re talking about slurs or have been upset by something that has been posted.
Specifically, you’ve described your Native American heritage in other threads, sometimes those involving racial issues. I know you mentioned that your are
In this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=195441
I was just wondering if your are an enrolled member of the Cherokee Nation, or have any ties to the community (apart from knowing your own family’s background.) The reason I am curious is that you tend to point to your heritage to emphasize your points in certain threads (especially when those threads are potentially volatile).
I really hope that you are not offended by my question and you are free not to answer it. It’s just that being a NA woman living and working in her tribe’s reservation, it can be a little vexing to see this guy online who speaks with authority when he might have never even been to the rez.
I’m sure, like me, you’ve encountered this before and I don’t want to get into a discussion about what makes a “real” Indian. (I don’t want to hijack your thread, but I also don’t want to discourage that discussion, if others are interested). I’ve just been curious, as I have said.
I hope that you will accept my question in the spirit in which it is intended.
ps. Thanks again for the thread! I’d never have asked, otherwise.
That was not too long after you pulled this. What was that anyway? Were you trying to see if people would worry about you? Looks like you got your wish, from the looks of that thread.
Somebody else already said it, but you’re way too sensitive sometimes. It’s as if you look for reasons to lose your temper. Your feud with Dewey Cheatem Undhow comes to mind. I don’t know if you ever resolved that, it’s none of my business, but I thought you really made a mountain out of a molehill there.
Sometimes you apologize. “I’m sorry, I’m a sinner who’s trying to follow the path of Christ’s love, I love you all, love love love lo…” I decided to stop taking your apologies at face value after your meltdown in the first linked thread.
I wouldn’t have said any of this if you hadn’t asked for it. However, I still think you’re decent and basically sincere. And I obviously pay a lot of attention to your posts, when I run across them. I don’t hang out in GD much, and I know that’s sort of your “home” on these boards, but when I do see a post of yours in a thread I’m reading I pay attention to it because I respect what you have to say. I forgive you for your faults. Now pay it forward.
