Okay, as much as I usually hate to give out any personal information without a good reason, in light of the recent internet dating threads it occurred to me that perhaps I simply have no idea of how to market myself. The last date I had was in February of 2001, and I think that is largely because I have simply been busy, and somewhat apathetic about making any attempts to meet people. Last year I took the time to post a profile on the metrodate.com site, but it was posted and then promptly forgotten about in favour of other priorities. Spending hours browsing internet dating profiles in search of potential matches is not my idea of a good time, which leads me to wonder if my potential “soul mate” simply hasn’t contacted me because she is also that apathetic and cynical. Regardless, I have finally made the decision to shed what remains of my internet anonymity, and reveal to the board that (among other details) contrary to popular belief, I am not Japanese. I only ask that if you click the link below to satisfy your curiosity, that you also take a few seconds to offer a tidbit of constructive criticism.
Looks good to me. Sounds like you just need to get off your ass and spend a little time reading ads.
The problem is you’re a man.
Even on personals sites, the ladies generally prefer being approached. You’ll need to be proactive.
Your ad is fine, but you’ll need to market it through first contacts. You’ve avoided all the standard cliches (“i am a hopless romantic and i like long walks on the beach and snugling in front of the fireplace”) so you’ll do fine if you wave the flag a little.
Well, just the easy stuff to get out of the way: Get a better picture, that shows off your whole face including your eyes and such. You probably just come across as “average,” so you’d only get people who were really into your photo, and they’re not as likely to get really turned on by sunglasses.
And you misspelled “intrigued,” which might be turning off the anal-retentive women.
Well, if you’re not big on browsing profiles and shotgun emailing prospective chicks, you may want to take a different approach.
Don’t talk about what you want in a woman. They don’t give a shit. Instead, come up with a fairly cogent and concise explanation of what you have to offer, and why you’re better than the 1000 other slobs on the site. That way, when they read the profile, they won’t read the same garbage as on every other guy’s profile.
I second the suggestion of clearer pictures. You seem to be a good looking man, but I can’t really tell, and I would guess that for online dating sites, attraction matters. Not only that, but if I were browsing, I would wonder why you specifically chose two pictures that cover your face. (Not to mention the sunglasses photo, that does show most of your face, appears small and blurry.) I’m not being snarky in saying that, so don’t take it the wrong way. Just that, if I were looking, I would be curious about that. I would want to have a relatively clear image of who I am talking to if we’re discussing the possibility of meeting for romantic purposes.
Another vote for a clearer portrait w/o glasses. Also, have another photo of you showing off your height…a group picture with friends or amongst the crowd so the women can get a good mental grasp of your stature. There are some women who really dig tall dudes…saying your 6’5" just doesn’t do it justice. I bet there are quite a few good looking women in the 6’0" range that would really appreciate this when looking for taller men. Use that to your advantage.
DISCLAIMER: My assessments are not assessments of you, personally. I am merely telling the impression I’m getting off of the ad. The impression I pick up and what you’re trying to communicate might be completely different.
Need better pics. From what I see, you’re cute. Need to see some eyeballs, though. Show off those baby blues! Want your email box full? Get a picture of you with a puppy or your baby nephew. And a full body shot! You’re tall! VERY tall! Show it off! 
Ad is too wordy. Save the Canadian Coast Guard stuff for the first date.
You misspelled “intrigued.”
Lose the “Come show me what you’re made of” bit. I wouldn’t answer an ad that said that because it gives off the impression that the guy is just sitting there waiting for me to chase him down. Some women get off on that, true. I don’t, so maybe it’s just me.
I’d also lose the “financially independent” part. You’re 28. If you get an older woman, she MIGHT be financially independent if she’s damn lucky. Chances are 99% of the women reading your ad aren’t, though. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to avoid a gold digger, but throwing in financial independence is too tall an order for your general age group, and gives the impression that you are either tightfisted/cheap, or want to be taken care of.
Maybe being financially independent means something different to you, though. “Financially independent” means “wealthy” in my world. Not filthy stinkin’ rich, but quite comfortable. Are you wanting a woman with a big nest egg who pretty much works only because she wants to, or do you just want a woman who has a job and pays her own bills?
As far as the “expensive hobbies” thing, they’ve already figured that out just by reading your hobbies.
If you’re serious about non-smokers, you need to say something about it in the ad. It’s easy to miss the “Ideal Match” part at the top of the screen, and I suspect a lot of people will conveniently “miss” that part if you don’t make it clear elsewhere.
Overall though I think you’re doing fine. I was certain when I clicked on your ad that I was going to read a spiel about how you’ve been “hurt in the past” and you’re “not into mind games.” Avoiding all of your sad stories automatically puts you in the top 1 or 2% of the ads out there.
Yet another vote for taking off the sunglasses and getting a clearer picture. Plus, you’re tall. I dig tall guys. Many of my friends go for tall guys. I, for one, kinda like the “come show me what you’re made of line”…shows confidence. Now for the bad part. Women online don’t usually make the first move. Click, email, whatever the site offers to let you show interest, and see if the women respond. You’re a good looking guy. You’ll get responses. Of course, then you have to weed out the not-so-good matches. But you’ll find some good women out there. Your profile is going to spark some interest.
I think the sunglasses picture is just fine. Thought you were cute the minute I saw it. However, nobody looks good in a diving mask.
I liked the way you wrote your profile. My guess is that you have lots of women interested in you but have trouble finding one who shares your love of active sports and solitude. I wouldn’t change it much unless you want a lot of non-contender responses.
You might want to tweak the financially independent part though. I’m guessing you just want someone who can pay her own way on a diving trip since you are still a student but it could be interpreted as looking for a woman to support you.
Anyway, if I were single, the right age, and had any hope of quitting smoking, I would be e-mailing you right now.
Thanks all for the replies. To answer some of the questions raised so far, the small photo with the sunglasses is a cropped section of a photograph that I scanned after being given, but I don’t actually own a camera myself. This is why I haven’t posted a better picture. Also, that photograph is a few years old now. It is actually a bit deceiving - if you look at it closely, you will notice where my hairline is. It’s pretty much there now, but I wear my hair buzzed short and my face has aged a bit, so in person I look quite a bit older than I am. I decided on that photo to prevent anyone from thinking I was misrepresenting my age, but maybe that was a bad idea? Anyway, I will try to track down someone with a camera to take some “candid” shots, including a full-body image to show my height.
I misspelled intrigued. I will correct this.
Focus less on what I want and more on what I have. Gotcha. I’ll have to think about that for a bit to come up with something that reads well. Problem is, I’m not sure what I have. I listed some of my interests, but apart from that, I’m not sure what I have to offer that isn’t the same as 1000 other guys, or that wouldn’t read as generic filler in the ad. Suggestions?
Skip the career history. Okay.
As for the “financially independent” comment, I only meant to mean someone who doesn’t live with their parents and is self-sufficient - has a job, etc. I’m not looking for support or wealth. I had no idea that this would read so offensively. I’ll have to change that too. Mentioning that I am a student might be misleading - although I am currently a student, I am also gainfully employed, and my employer is paying my tuition while I earn this degree. Perhaps “on sabbatical” would be more appropriate?
Finally, the “…come show me what you’re made of.” comment - I have one vote for egotistical self-indulgent tripe, and one for a display of self-confidence. I need a tie-breaking vote. Ladies?
I hate the “come show me what you’re made of” line - it sounds like you’re challenging someone to a duel, not encouraging a woman to get to know you better.
Also, you essentially have four paragraphs, all of which begin with “I.” It’s tricky because it’s a personal ad (where you’re supposed to reference yourself), but I’d still try to limit the amount or work on the placement.
Overall, I didn’t get any warmth from the ad. You’ve obviously got a lot of interests, but the descriptions seemed almost clinical. Then, you describe what you’d like in a woman – clearly someone who is pretty much perfect – but, again, it reads like a laundry list, not as something that’s coming from the heart.
In short, all the “ingredients” are there, but I think it needs to be reworked a bit.
Okay, by popular demand, that closing line is scrapped, as are the previous career references. Now, all that remains is a list of my hobbies, and a description of what I am looking for. Do you agree with the opinion that this is a turnoff, and should be scrapped as well? I need to add info about myself that conveys “warmth”? I don’t know what to write - I’m, not a very emotionally intuitive person, although I do love books, music and written debate. What exactly constitutes “warm” info?
From the ad…
Ok…for example, I like the part about “remote and desolate places” but wish it didn’t make me think of burying a body. I mean, I get what you’re saying, but the description just doesn’t do it for me. I also like the “awesome beauty…” but don’t think you have to include “undiluted by the sight and sound of others.” It’s like you’re tossing in a negative when there doesn’t really need to be one. Period after “appreciated.” I’d also personalize the first sentence to be more of a "I’ve gotten out of them what I’ve put in-type thing. (I know I’m encouraging more “I’s” here, but it makes it “warmer” to me that way).
Anyway, those are just my thoughts, and they’re pretty nitpicky – your ad really is fine as it stands (except the line that you’re going to get rid of 
Text has been reworked a bit, although there is a 2000 character limit which I am just under. As such, I can only change what is there, not add new text, unless I delete something first.
How does it read now?
Forgive my selfishness, but on the off chance that it will prompt a few more replies:
:bump:
Just go down to Wally’s dive shop on May St. and tell him you are looking for a female diving companion, or start hanging with the outdoor rec students at your school (Friday nights are ski nights). Come summer, get involved with the Lakehead Canoe Club, where there are more women involved in dragon boat racing than you can shake a stick at.
Please, please get rid of the diving outfit picture.
Oh, no insult intended. It’s just that absolutely no one could possibly look good in a diving outfit. Peace dude.