I am getting my residency application materials together, and I finally have a rough draft of a personal statement.
The conventional wisdom for personal statements is all over the map, but I don’t really care, since conventional wisdom gets conventional people into conventional residencies. I think this statement paints a fairly good picture of who I am, which was my primary goal.
I really don’t like the opening paragraph, and I think it needs a better closing. Plenty of stuff in between will undergo heavy revision as well, I’m sure.
Please offer comments, suggestions, and advice on anything from grammar to content. I appreciate it.
So, you want to be a GP in a (probably depressed) rural area and you’re concerned that you’ll get the job? (affectionate :rolleyes: ) At least you didn’t mention balancing humours or yin and yang, although neither would probably be a problem, given your chosen career path.
Oh, about your letter. It seems to strike a balance (hehe) between stating your background and goals and blatant sucking up (vastly underrated). It has a theme that would leave you open to abuse as they read it around the coffee machine, assuming one of them has a sense of humor (not to be assumed with MDs or administrators) but it is memorable without being TOO open to jokes. And the fact that I’ve used the balance theme in cover letters, too, has nothing to do with my approval.
Actually, this is not for the job in the rural area, but for the three-year residency program between now and then. Of course, internal medicine has a few thousand more spots than applicants, so I’m not that worried anyway.
I think it’s hard to write a personal statement of your career goals, when you want to do something like practice medicine in a depressed rural area, without sounding hokey. I also didn’t want to overextend the “balance” metaphor, but at least I didn’t start quoting the Tao Te Ching. (I considered it.)
[obligatory caveat] This advice comes from a Shakespeare geek with no medical knowledge or experience whatsoever. But on the other hand, I did get a full fellowship for my first two years of grad school on the strength of my personal statement.[/obligatory caveat]
One way to make it memorable and avoid hokiness would be to expand on what you’ve said about your background. It sounds like there are some stories there, so tell them. Pick a specific incident from your past that says something important about you – why you want the position, the type of doctor you are, that sort of thing. Take a paragraph or two, or even the whole statement, to tell your readers about it. You don’t have to hit them over the head with your point – if you’ve picked the right story they will draw their own conclusions. Of course, it’s also a nice subtle way to let them know you’ve got experience without bragging.
Is there any way you can find something out about the person you’re submitting to? I got major brownie points on my first student teaching assignment when I used humor (Why do I want to be a teacher? Well, it all begins when my family was cursed by gypsies . . . ) in my intro letter. My site supervisor like me better than anyone else!
Anyways, tailoring is a lot easier if you know what kind of person will be reading your statement.
You might try switching the order around a little bit and give it a really punchy beginning. Make it snappy. Put them into a scene, one that they can recall (probably fondly). For example, I’ll borrow a little from your later paragraph, and fix it so it can be the start.
“Tuesday. 9 a.m. I have no idea what awaits me in Exam room 3. I have no idea what will be after that patient, either. It might be a pregnancy. It might be hypertension. It might be a nasty case of poison ivy, or a bout with depression, the need for smoking cessation counseling, a well-baby visit, or the first terrifying signs of acute myeloid leukemia. Some physicians might feel frustrated by the endless stream of disparate complaints, ranging from the mundane to the life-threatening, with little warning of what’s coming next and little opportunity to transition from one to the other. But I learned in my rotation in family practice and outpatient care that I thrive on that. To me, that Tuesday morning represents a wonderful balance.”
Then go into your balance spiel, which I really liked.
IANARD (residency director), so take what I say as being worth what you paid for it (nothing). But the balance stuff you wrote in the second paragraph really spoke to me. It said “this guy is gonna be an internist, that’s for sure”. I’d say that if you’re sure you want internal medicine, go with your essay.
But is it too late to consider some of the other, cushier specialties? Oculoplastics? Blood Bank Pathology? Medical Review Officer? You could enjoy some balance yourself, achieving equilibrium between family, professional life, play, and spiritual growth. No? You say you’re committed? Good for you! Some of the finest people I know are internists. Some total dorkwads too, but that’s medicine for you.
A surgeon, an internist, and a family practitioner go duck hunting together. A bird flies by. The surgeon stands, cries out “duck” and shoots it down with a single shot. Later, another bird flies over. The internist rises, calls out “duck, rule out pheasant, rule out quail” and downs it with a single bullet. Even later, another bird flies over. The family practitioner jumps up, and blasts it out of the sky with a round of automatic weapons fire. As the bits of carcass fall to the ground, he says “I don’t know what it was, but I sure as hell got it!”
Phouka–this letter will probably be read by three or four people at each of the ten or fifteen schools I’m applying to, so it’s hard to write to a specific audience. I would like to have used humor, as it’s my writing forte, but it’s really rolling the dice in this case. The usual conventional wisdom on residency personal statements is that they can only hurt you, so you should just lay out your points and try to demonstrate that you’re not a freak. Still, see my previous comments on conventional wisdom.
Shirley–obviously you have not heard my rapped version. I believe the danceability would kick it up to at least a 9.
Cranky–that’s such a good idea, I may have to use it. Thanks.
QtheM–yeah, I’m pretty set on interal medicine. I can’t bring myself to specialize any further than that, I hate surgery, and I don’t like children enough to do family practice. Besides, I’m counting on the fact that HIPAA is going to make it illegal to stand in the middle of the hall and talk for hours about a patient, so my arches might just survive a medicine residency.
Oh, and you forgot the neurologist, who sees a bird flying overhead, orders $10,000 worth of studies, waits two days for them to come back, says “yep, it’s a duck, all right”, then watches it fly on by.
