Here in Clawson Michigan, a young man was given a ticket for disturbing the peace when he played his car radio too loud near a local police officer. The kid went before a judge and was truly sorry for not respecting others , etc.
The judge waived the fine and sentance and had the boy sit in an empty juror room for three hours listening to *Wayne Newton * as punishment.
This is not the first time I have heard such a punishment being handed down for disturbing the peace violation. It is also not the first time I’ve heard Wayne Newton’s music used as punishment. I might be the only person on the face of this earth that has never hear any of Newton’s songs.
My questions to the Teeming Millions thing morning are:
Doesn’t Wayne Newton headline in Vegas and if he does, wouldn’t that be an indicator that he can’t be that bad if he is selling out to old ladies.
If I were Wayne Newton and heard this sentancing, a) wouldn’t I be offended? b) have a right to sue for slander?
And the question you have all been waiting for:
3)What music would be your definative torture music for a young offender such as this?
1.) He does headline in Vegas. But as you point out, he’s selling out old ladies, not kids with speakers in their trunks.
2.) See, I think that the punishment was designed to be a punishment for that kid. Not all people. Depending on the type of music he was blasting, and from my experiance, it’s usually hip-hop, it would be pretty easy to pick a musical genre that would not appeal to that kid. as for : b) slander is close to impossible to sue for. You’d have to prove that the person said something about you, that they INTENDED it to have a negative effect on you as a person, and that it had negative consequences. Or something like that. The judge was not saying Wayne produced crappy music, he was saying that this kid isn’t gonna like his music.
3.)Country. Not the old-school Johnny Cash/Patsy Cline, and not the “we’re really producing pop music, but we’re from the South, so we’ll call it Country because we have a fiddle player,” but the whiney, nasal country. Blech.
I don’t know about the Wayne Newton info, but musical torture for me would be:
Neil Young
Irish Faux-Folk Modern Music (like the Pogues)
American Pie (the song)
Celine Dion/Mariah Cary/any other squeaky vocalists singing horribly written sentimental songs
A stirring medley of Captain and Tennille, Michael Bolton, and Dexy’s Midnight Runners would have me ready for wet packs and thorazine in no time flat…
I know that in some circles (like this one) I am practically a heretic for saying this, but if you wanted to punish me, careful blending of the right Beatles and Pink Floyd songs would do the trick.
Actually, that would be misdemeanor punishment. For capital offense, you could just pipe in a medley of Disney movie songs. Except that one about Gaston in Beauty and the Beast. (I like that one.)
I had the song Xanadu running through my head for a while the last two weeks, particularly when I was waking up. I never liked the song, but its chorus kept running through my head. I think that is a suitable punishment for a wayward teen/young adult. Make them listen to nothing but the chorus…hell force them to sing along with it too for three to five hours for up to three days. Only the chorus should be sung and listened to. Oh, and on the last day, play the song again but with different words (kind of like what rap used to do when they still could sample). I think it would be enough so they would respect their neighbors and not play their crap forcing everyone else to hear what they are listening to.
A few years ago I saw a “Where Are They Now?” kind of thing on TV about old Wayne. He came across as quite the tough guy and takes his music and reputation very seriously. He even physically threatened Jonny Carson once backstage because Carson was using him as the butt of some jokes in his opening monologues. I would imagine Mr. Newton would be the kind of person who would not think twice about suing over defamation of character. Personally, I think he’s a cheesball, but he doesn’t seem to be the big wimp that most people think he is.
As for my punishment, I think the worst would have to be a three hour loop of the Muzak version of “Touch Of Grey” and “Purple Haze”. (I heard both in a department store once and almost left. Is nothing sacred anymore?)
She said: “I know you and you cannot sing.”
I said: “That’s nothing - you should hear me play piano.”
Speaking as a “parent who has taken small children to Disnyeworld” veteran…
Torture would be having to sit in a little boat listening to “it’s a small world after all” for several hours at a time. I know, I’ve done it. ( “Let’s do it again, Daddy!!” )
I get tortured every day in fact I am at this very second. In my tech job I have to call a department called the Digital Services Group a couple times a day. The hold times are horrible… sometimes a couple hours, the only hold music they have is a single stanza that continuously loops… it is like extreamly bad, midi, john tesh type music… I am listing to it right now… and im still 10 in queue, beats the 35 I started at.
Anyone know who said that?