Curses! I need suggestions for curses!

May you spend the afternoon in a nice, soft chair – my dentist’s.

Son of a submariner!
That’s just fun to say, though it’s not very wounding…

May you be forced to tapdance barefoot on a bed of molten lava while giving oral pleasure to a male orangutan of dubious personal hygiene! (apologies to Grant Naylor)

Go puff a white owl
Eat my fuck

May your shit come to life and kiss you on the lips. (with apologies to Zappa.)

May you be skinned alive and dunked in kerosene.

May you be covered in raw meat and fed to rabid dogs.