People don’t make sense, so I can’t really answer your question. I think people just need to get over feeling down about their “size.” People only really need to make changes when their health is in jeopardy or they feel like they could be happier being active.
Maybe they were all treating themselves to one last tri-tip value meal before shipping off to fat camp.
I suppose that there are a number of reasons for that. You can ask a similar question to smokers. Sugary, crappy food is an addiction for some. For others it’s an emotional/psychological problem. For others they prefer the pleasure that they get out of overeating to the displeasure of their looks and the effect on their health.
A difference in degree is not a false equivalence.
So what? Short people have faced mockery and disadvantages in society. Short people are less likely to win elective office. A lot of women won’t date short men. Shortness is often a topic of mockery.
No, it doesn’t. That’s a false choice. None of that stuff is any of your business.
“If you don’t like being called ‘fat’ then why are you fat?” Are you serious? That’s exactly the kind of attitude that generally makes society hostile to fat people.
the restaurant needs to get a table labeling system, so the waiters aren’t tempted to make such notation on tickets to keep them straight. Table 1-A would have been just as helpful. Problem avoided, customers happy, bill paid.
In part, because it is a feature within the fat person’s control. Can’t change height, race, or bone structure. Can change hairstyle, eye color, muscle tone, and weight. If you are profoundly bothered by being called fat, the solution is to change the fat, not force the observer to change perceptions.
People try, sometimes they succeed, sometimes not. Most people find losing weight to be quite hard. In any case, the fact that someone has not managed to change something they don’t like about themselves is no reason to be a dick by commenting on it.
The attention is the purpose. Of course most people would react to an inconsequential, accurate, personal humiliation as Zjestika suggests: be upset, but try to minimize it.
A tech-support call center is completely different from a restaurant. People call tech support because they have to, they don’t see the person they’re dealing with, and most of the time they never call again, particularly if the service was good. Conversely, people go to restaurants because they want to, face-to-face personal service is actually part of the product, and good service for repeat business is essential.
Of course none of us can be sure about this particular case, but yeah, I’d bet that you are wrong. These women wanted drama. No apology or recompense would deter them from that, once the opportunity was presented. This wasn’t just about the price of a meal, this was about [something in their minds]! The manager prostrating himself would only serve to confirm their grand sense of the degree of their victimization, and the importance of the whole affair.
On the other hand, because of that nature of the restaurant business I described, firing the offender was appropriate even if the women had been wholly placated. If I were the manager in question, I would have sincerely apologized, not because I necessarily thought it would spare me their wrath, but because my staff had, indeed, fucked up. Firing the server would not have been for the sake of those customers (and I would not have offered it to them), but for the sake of the business.
Say you want to get someone’s attention, someone you don’t know. Maybe she’s overweight, and female, and is standing in a crowd of people who are all either not overweight or not female. Would you think it was OK, I mean socially acceptable, for you to shout “Hey, fat lady!” Would you expect her not to take offense, because after all, you were just trying to distinguish her from the crowd.
Or do you acknowledge that she probably would take offense, but you’re just saying “I should be allowed to violate the standards of polite communication in our society, because I think those standards are stupid.”
No one should be a dick, ever. But no one would have complained about “Skinny chicks” or “blondes”. The waiter was unprofessional and unkind, but the reality is that fat isn’t a disability, and no one’s rights were infringed by this stupid comment. The fuss is disproportionate and this level of attention undeserved.
So to summarize this thread:
If you are called fat it’s your problem and you should stop being fat
If someone calls you something you get offended by it’s your problem and you should change it so as not to be called that anymore
People deserve being called fat if they are fat, because we are under no obligation to keep our thoughts to ourselves
:dubious:
How is the above, in any way, a summary of this thread? A bunch of people have posted here almost none of whom feel that way.
Almost none? Are we reading the same thread?
Bullshit. Everyone agrees the waiter made a stupid move and was out of line. The conversation migrated to a discussion of “fat acceptance”. I don’t believe that fat should be protected or regarded as a disability, and fair or not, just like mohawks, Technicolor hair, neck tattoos and facial piercings, fat is an attractive nuisance and the wearer bears the risk of judgement. We can tell people to avoid mentioning the elephant in the room, and professional and polite people will do so. But the attention these women are cultivating is outrageous, and out of proportion to the offense.
This seems like the best assessment of the situation.
Not sure what the debate is here. Is it rude call strangers “fat”? Yes.
Did the waiter do that? No.
He wrote himself a note with an unflattering description of the customers and forgot to remove it, presumably.
From the article, “Ugly **itch” from “tattoville [sic]” is funnier though.
“Lady Chinky Eyes” is too, but crosses the line from descriptive to racist. “Asian lady” or “ugly Asian lady” even, should have sufficed.
Actually, there are plenty of thin people who would and do object to be identified as “skinny chicks.” There have been threads on this board to that effect.
As for “blonde,” as a simple description, it is not used negatively. But it can be used as a way to denigrate a woman’s intelligence. Such a use would not be apparent in a restaurant cheque.
It doesn’t matter whether it is a disability in your eyes or not. It’s a characteristic that is used to demean people.
Rights? Infringement of rights is not the only standard for behavior in society.
Sez you. And so what if it is? How does that hurt you? Indeed, you are contributing to the level of attention. If you really don’t care, then you shouldn’t have participated in or indeed read this thread.
You said that the comments are not positive or welcome, in your case. I have no reason to disbelieve you. I’ve heard some nasty comments about thin people myself.
Hey! At least she was a “Lady”!
I can forgive servers for coming up with creative (even if mean-spirited, rude, borderline or outright racist) nicknames for customers - it’s a boring and high-stress role they’re in, and it doesn’t make them bad people in and of itself for doing so. I could see myself engaging in it as a pastime, especially if inducted into a culture of doing so when starting out as a young person doing a service job for the first time.
Letting the customer see an unflattering description though should warrant a sincere apology and, depending on the huffiness of the customer, a comp meal could be warranted (the manager’s call, as well as how much and in what way to come down on the server later). The server should just be honest and say “it was my quick, personal joke to myself to describe your table, I didn’t mean to give offense.”
After that the customers should let it go. Leave a small tip or no tip if you must, swear never to come back, but going to the media is over the top.
Not really. The prevailing sentiment seems to be “Dick move but far overblown to make it national news”
See:
That is hardly none