I was in the local Home Depot the other night when an older couple came in. The woman was carrying two of the little yapping Mexican dogs whose name I can’t begin to spell. Each little dog was wearing a teeny little sombrero, and itty bitty serape and little doggy sunglasses. God help me, I thought they were so damn cute and it made me happy to see them and I smiled and laughed. What the hell is happening to me? Is this what getting old is about? Things I used to sneer at are now cute? I don’t like this development and I fear what might come next. Will I start hanging out at the local Senior Center? Will I take up Bingo on Wednesday nights? Will I start looking for the Early Bird dinner specials? I knew getting old sucked, I didn’t realize it meant a complete acceptance of what I’ve spent my life resisting. I don’t like it one damn bit.
As I read this, I’m cackling madly while playing with the cutest little yorkie that has ever graced the face of the earth…And I’m 24.
he talks if you listen real close
Son of bitch! I will learn to code one day, I swear!
I really like Yorkies, but I hope I’d never dress one in little doggie clothes—then again, I never before thought little dressed up doggies were cute. I really fear what I might become if this trend continues.
Actually, I never thought I’d be a dog dresser either. When I was much younger. Then my family got a minature poodle for my little sister.
He gets too cold in the winters. In the New Mexico winters. So he gets dressed up. He’s really cute in his little sweaters.
It may be that the Chihuahuas you saw were cold too, and their mom decided to play it up. Or, she may just like dressed dogs.
Have you developed an unaccountable lust to own anything with Hello Kitty on it? No, wait, that’s a relatively new spin on saccharine gagginess.
How about Kewpie dolls? Those wretched 60s pre-anime paintings featuring waifs, puppies and kittens with teary eyeballs with ocular sockets that would beggar Buick hub caps?
Half the fun of getting old is perspective. It’s very satisfying to look at studded, bleached, dyed and tattooed youth, settle back and think, “Go for it, kid.” It’s even more fun watching die-hard absolutists of your own generation switch gears. Certain friends of mine always ridiculed my careful care of my dog, a large Lab/Shepherd mix. They’ve now fallen slam in love with a genuine tea-cup pup; a minature minature chihuahua. It rides around in his shirt pocket and is too tiny to climb stairs. They’re totally besotted, and yeah, it’s cute: humans and dog.
I swear most human absurdities are tests, Louis. You’re passing. Enjoy the ride.
Veb
Who never passes up a discount outta sheer subversion, btw. It’s a hold over. It’s the judo of being patronized. Heh.
You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a middle-aged human male cackle madly with laughter, because he has put a set of bunny ears on his Mastiff.
“It’s her Halloween costume!” he said.
None of this means anything without pictures. 
Please?
I was going to post the one we have, but I can’t find it! I think the WryGuy has it stored on his computer. I’ll keep looking - it’s definitely worth sharing.
What about using red food coloring to make the white Great Dane red for Hallowe’en?
“Look! It’s Clifford!”
My youngest sister (who turns 40 in May) has a retired racing greyhound named Max. Sis and Max are very active in a greyhound group in Baltimore. Every year, she dresses Max up for the Halloween parade, and he often wins 1st prize. Like this year - he was a bunny. One year, he was a scarecrow. Last year, he was a convict, complete with ball and chain.
It’s a sickness… When I start dressing up my mutt, shoot me. At least the cat has too much dignity to tolerate it.
Still, I’d have probably giggled about the chihuahuas - they sound adorable!!!
Once I was watching The Hitler Channel and they were, oddly, showing a documentary abouut the First World War. I’m sure they got a mention of Corp. Hitler in there somewhere. Anyway, they were showing a parade of German soldiers marching proudly off to war, and at the head of the parade, wobbling along with great eclat, was a weiner dog in a Kaiser helmet! It took me by surprise, I fell off the sofa and couldn’t breathe, I was laughing so hard. I think it was because the little weiner dog looked just so proud of its big pointy helmet.
OK, now I have to go watch my collection of Dogville shorts.
Oh, they’ll tolerate it if they think they’ll get a treat out of it. Yes, I know this qualifies at “torture” but Fatcat knows that torture=treats so he goes and waits by his bowl. See how happy he look?
I worked at a company that made hockey jerseys, this was a prototype for a baby size. We screenprinted Fatcat’s name on it. You have to roll up the sleeves though, they’re abit too long.
My aunt has a couple of cute yorkies. After they’re groomed she spritzes them with puppy perfume (I’m not kidding) and puts little hair bows on their heads. Pink for the girl, blue for the boy of course. Although I think the dogs are cute I still think that is a little odd so I guess I’m not that old yet (despite being past 40).
I don’t know what my uncle thinks. He never says.
That poor cat. He doesn’t look like he’s going to forgive you anytime soon.