I know I’ve told this story on the boards before, but we were playing hide and seek one day and it was my turn to count. My son hid, I found him, and it was my turn. I went and hid in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed. I could see my son as he made a couple cursory glances around, trying to find me. Then he went into the living room, turned on the t.v., and plopped down on the couch.
The OP reminds me of cooking with my 5-year old last week. She was starting to get tired of helping and switched to pestering me for a snack. I said no to several things and told her I was too busy to make something so she had to pick something that would be quick and healthy. She immediately said “I pick lower-case tomatoes”…that stopped me for a minute until I looked around, perplexed, and saw her pointing to some grape tomatoes (she’s learning upper- and lower-case letters in Kindergarten right now).
I also got a kick out of practicing learning colours with her 2 1/2 yr. old sister:
Me flipping red card: “What colour is this?”
Her: Red
*Me flipping to orange card: *“Very good, what’s this?”
Her: “Orange Juice”
Me flipping to brown card and giggling: “How about this one?”
Her: “Chocolate milk!”
Thanks for brightening my evening. Daughter is visiting grandparents this weekend with her daddy while I’m stuck at the house with an angry 17 yo. 
Daughter is nine but still cute and cracks me up all the time. She loves watching cat videos on youtube. The other night she was sitting there laughing hysterically and she says, in stream-of-consciousness style while laughing:
“Cats are *sooo *funny! I can’t believe how funny they are --Mama, why are cats so funny? – My cheeks hurt. I can’t stop laughing. They are *sooo *funny! Dogs are funny too, but cats are funnier. Were our cats this funny? Mama, you should see this. You’ve never seen anything funnier. Oh, my goodness!”
That was all in one breath, I think. Her laughter is infectious, apparently; I was in tears just listening to her giggling by the time I told her it was bedtime. She watches the same four or five videos over and over again, but she never gets tired of them.
Latest excuse for why my 4-yr-olds can’t (put away toys, get their own water, etc):
“I just sat down.”
(they get this from their father, that is his favorite line)
My 2.5yo Nephew has recently decided he’s not going to do any more growing. He’s already a big kid!
My girl started referring to the cat as "bad"at 17 months. Not “kitty” or “tarot” or even “meow”. Nope, “bad”
Which is a hilarious, and a bit odd - because I’m sure we don’t call the cat “bad” that often. Jerk, yes, and little bastard, yes…but not bad.
My son yells at our boy cat even when the poor cat isn’t doing anything wrong. I guess he’s heard us yelling “OSCAR!” one too many times 
.
Yeah, Spencer thinks that our dog’s name is either “Bad Dog” or “Maya.” His new thing is “I need it! I need it!” when he wants something. He’ll be two in just a few weeks.
:eek:
My two-year-old playing with my phone yesterday:
“Hello, phone!”
{listens}
“I Julia!”
{listens some more}
“Bye-bye phone!”
{gives it back to me}
She did the “chocolate milk” thing the other day too. “Here green one! Red one! Chocca one!”
Yesterday the Nephew, who I was babysitting, said
“I’m tired. Do you know why?”
“No, I don’t. Why are you tired?”
“'cos I don’t wanna yawn play no more.”
Yep, sounds like the very definition of tired.
Goody, a **Brag about your kid ** thread!
The other day my 9 year old came into the house all sweaty from playing outside and grabbed two bananas.
I asked if one was for his friend, he walked by with one in each hand saying, " Nope. One for energy. One for constipation!"
I love my kids.
When my son was in preschool he had a teacher that would praise his work. At home, whenever he would complete a project, I would tell him how great it was. He would then correct me by saying it was “ouchstanding!”
My daughter’s going through a contrary phase, so I know exactly when to put her down for her nap or for bedtime: when shes happily playing, then turns to me out of the blue and says, “Mama, I not *wanna *sleep!”
My niece, when you ask her how she’s doing, always answers with a cheery, sincere, “FANTASTIC!” and a big ol’ grin on her face.
It’s so sweet to see someone that sunny all the time.
I think I’ve shared this one before, but one morning, I’m stumbling around the kitchen getting ready for work, and Ivylad is making coffee. Ivyboy is eating his cereal when he looks up suspiciously and asks, “Dad, did you and mom have sex last night?”
I whipped my head around, shocked, as Ivylad asks, “Why do you ask?”
“Well, you’re in a good mood and mom’s tired.”
We hadn’t, by the way
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When I was home with a sick kid on Monday, he had a fruit bar in his hand, but he wanted a book. So he walks over to me with the fruit bar, holds it out, and says “Hold this.”, and slaps it into my hand. I said “What do you say?”.
He slaps it into my hand again, and says loudly "HOLD THIS!’.
He’s 19 months old. I’m starting to think we’re in for it.
Not my kid, but one at a friend’s house; was about 4 and very friendly & chatty, though he had the lisp where an R comes out as a W. He told me a story about a flying dragon he’d seen and its misadventures. I said to him, “You’re silly.” And he replied, peeved and shaking his head, “No I’m not, I’m vew-bull!” (I guess he’d over heard his parents describe him as ‘verbal’ to others.) It was very cute.
Ironically, he had an R in each of his three names, poor little guy.
Your son and I are on the same wavelength. I recall being about three and a half or four and arguing with my dad during the summer that it couldn’t be bedtime because it’s light out, and bedtime is dark! He tried to explain that it stays light very late in the summer, but I didn’t believe him.
My brother was the master of little kid logic like Nightingale’s son employed:
When I was a sophomore in high school, I met the first boy I eventually fell in love with. Coincidentally, he met my little brother around the same time because he did a weekly volunteer program at my brother’s elementary school. My brother knew we were friends, too.
So one day out of the blue, not terribly long after I decided I was interested in this boy, my brother turned to me and said, “You know, I think you should marry Brad when you grow up.”
I was instantly horrified that my baby brother had obviously detected my crush, which until that point I thought was rather discreet, and was only able to blurt out “why?” in response.
“Oh.” He said, looking contemplative. “I’ve been thinking about this. I never got to have a brother, so that means you have to marry someone who is nice to me. Brad’s nice to me, so I decided you have to marry him.”
Able to breathe again, I explained to him that while it was good that Brad was nice to him, that wouldn’t be part of my reasoning to marry anyone, Brad included.
Outraged, in typical eight-year-old fashion he wailed, “But you have to, it’s so unfair! I should get to pick because it’s the only brother I’ll ever get!”
Nice try, Kiddo.
My son was two the first time we took him Trick-or-Treating. I’d ring the doorbell, and when the resident came to the door my son would present his little plastic pumpkin and say clearly, “Put it in the bucket.”
The next Halloween he insisted on removing his mask at every house and introducing himself, after he got his treat. He seemed to be concerned about getting candy on false pretenses - that people might think he was really Buzz LightYear.
I have to go again even though this one was embarrassing for me.
When my oldest daughter was two we drove to my wife’s Grandmother’s in Connecticut - a 13-hour drive. I was beat tired and it was really hot so when my wife let me sleep in the next morning I was just laying on top of the sheets. Unbeknownst to me my daughter came in to play on the bed. I had half awakened and was trying to motivate myself to get up and, without noticing her yet, had farted. That was when I felt her lift the edge of my underwear and say “Dadda, you poopy?” (she was potty-training at the time).