Being an Aspie bod means that it’s difficult for Iceland to make friends,especially female ones.Especially as I live by myself,sometimes I need some company around me.As the Doperettes seem to be a friendly(and quite hot)bunch,are there any of you out there interested in getting to know me more…
I’m 25,5’7,brown hair,gray green eyes,love Formula 1,Simpsons,80s stuff.I luv pub quizzes,doing creative writing and drama and reading(fave books:Harry Potter,Darling Buds of May).Fave films:Gregory’s Girl,Blue Lagoon,My Girl.I’m a Christian and next year I hope to be doing missionary work in Malta.I also play Scrabble at national championship level.I’m on the English Riviera in Devon and have one sis and some fish who live with my parents.
As I’m an Aspie bod,I’m a bit weird to try and get to know,but once you’re used to me I’m not too scary.
Well, I’m American, already in a relationship, and wouldn’t be interested regardless. But I do have a history of being able to translate complex issues of social protocol between people with Asperger’s and those scary normal hu-mans. And, while I don’t know how other females have reacted or will react to this thread, for me it tripped all sorts of primitive internal creepiness alarms, which is something that you probably don’t deserve. If you’d like advice on how not to do that and hence how to better attract The Ladies in the future, I’d be more than willing to try to help.
That is, of course, assuming some nice Simpsons-loving, Scrabble-playing Christian girl from Devon doesn’t read this and immediately fall for you. I’d feel kind of silly if that happened.
OK.This is it what I don’t get.There doesn’t seem to be anything creepy in there.Had I mentioned my hobbies were ‘leaping out of bushes’ and ‘skulking around the local playground’ I could understand it(btw,I do NOT participate in either).So any help would be appreciated…
Perhaps “creepy” is too harsh of a word. But I’ll go ahead anyway.
Some of what you said would probably be entirely unremarkable at, say, a site devoted to online personal ads, where everyone is going to the site to search for a relationship partner with similar interests. But the SDMB is a bit differently focused. While people certainly do use it as a resource for social connections, romance, and whatnot, that’s not the primary purpose. Advertising for a romantic partner so soon after you begin posting doesn’t give women much of a chance to get to know you through your posts. It also makes it seem, at least to me, as if you are inappropriately eager to find someone - that is, that finding a romantic partner, any romantic partner, is more important to you than your other interests. That’s a characteristic that seems to be present frequently in guys who only want a girlfriend for sex, to look good socially, or to have some level of emotional control over someone. I’m not saying that you’re one of those - just that you may be may be giving the ladies of the SDMB a little extra reason to fear that by doing something that those guys might also do.
The way you phrased some things also gives the impression that you are looking for premature commitment. “Be an Icelandette,” for example, implies an immediate invitation into a serious relationship, not just maybe going out for coffee once. It asks us to make a choice right now between rejecting you totally and making a commitment you. There’s no middle ground for things like emailing, instant messaging, brief telephone conversation, or casual dates.
You also don’t tell us what you want in a partner besides cuteness, femaleness, and residence in the UK. I’m sure there are more things, but if you don’t say what they are, you risk coming across as desperate and willing to accept anyone who meets those three requirements… or as someone who doesn’t really care about the other aspects. Chicks tend to dislike that sort of thing.
But if you like it here, stick around. Get to know everyone regardless of gender, location, or relationship status and try not to put too much emphasis on the romance bit. You may find someone you’re crazy about half a world away and have to start buying plane tickets. Or you may meet a guy who lives near you and has a cute sister who’s just dying to find the man who can out-Scrabble her.
OK.And I shouldn’t make any mention of leaping out of bushes at all?
I’m just getting to know people who are interested in the same sort of things as me and hopely get to find a few friends in the area so we can meet up some time Maybe British Dopefest would help…
Unless it’s funny. You can tell stories about just about anything if it’s funny. Say you leapt out of the bushes and tripped over a branch, throwing yourself prostrate at the feet of your unrequited intended, and you’ll do fine.
Say. That reminds me of something I spotted this morning that’s kind of creepy. Yahoo! has banner ads for their online singles service which have pictures of this woman with the most startlingly beautiful eyes… anyway, the tag line is “Stare as long as you want.”
Maybe British Dopefest would help…