I suppport the idea.
Every couple needs to have a knock-down drag-out arguement in the days before a wedding where they both swear they don’t ever want to have anything to do with the other person again, and this seems like just the thing to set it off.:rolleyes:
Sounds kind of bizarre.
I think the time to decide you’re not having sex until you’re married is before you ever have sex, not when you’re living together.
Personally I used the months of my engagement to indulge in as much illicit sex as I could get while I still had the chance.
Why let him know what being married to you is going to be like now? Wait until after you are married before you show him that you are entirely in control of when you two have sex. He might wise up and dump you if you go through with this plan.
So once you’re married, it’s no longer illicit. Does that take some of the thrill away?
“Marriage is the tomb of love”
-Giacomo Casanova
QFT
Just throwing in my $0.02 here. From a kinda-been-there-before perspective, I say this is a bad, bad, bad idea.
Examining your thoughts about sex has been mentioned many times already, but here’s another way to think about it that might make it easier. Think of your relationship as a pie chart. How much of the pie constitutes sex for you? If you think that your fiance’s allocation to sex is radically different from yours, I would consider premarital counseling.
ETA: As a point of clarification, I’ve been there on the receiving end of a similar request.
Damn fine username/post combination, too. 
My own advice, agreeing with many others: Discuss it with hubby-to-be first, or problems (if not penis) will likely ensue.
Serenata67 . the important thing is to communicate. there is nothing wrong with the idea if both parties wants it. however, if you don’t communicate your husband will have a wild train of thought just like this thread and come to his own conclusions. he won’t know why you would want to do this unless you tell him.
talk to- no, communicate with your husband.
Wow. I had no idea this would get so many people up in arms about it.
I didn’t word it the best. We have talked about it. This is not a unilateral decision. Yes, we do have sex often. I am a bit of a nympho and we have sex … a lot. I thought it might be nice to take a break. Save up the appetite. Build the sexual tension.
We’re not sure we’re going to do it and, if we do, for how long. Especially since we do have sex so frequently, I thought it might be like corvidae said.
He, of course, wants to keep humping like bunnies, but also admits that it might be special for us to wait a bit. Also, I’m getting a Brazilian wax before the wedding (at his behest), and I know he isn’t getting anywhere near that for at least a day or two after. So that’s at least half a week before the wedding he isn’t getting any. Should I make it a week? Two weeks? We’re both compromising on the wedding an honeymoon (I’d really rather not get Gray’s Papaya hot dogs in New York on the honeymoon, since I don’t eat hot dogs, sausages or the like, but I will for him. I’d rather not get a Brazilian, but I will for him, etc.) Because of that, he’s willing to make concessions for me.
We’ve learned that planning a wedding is a nice test for a marriage. Can we work together towards a goal? Can we do it without killing each other? Can we pick our battles? Can we concede when it’s not that important to one, but important to the other? A marriage isn’t just about how much sex we’re having, but about our relationship as a whole.
I finished reading some of the posts, and geez, those hurt.
It was an idea we had thrown around. We had not decided on anything. I wanted to get a broader opinion (I have two people my generation I know who are married, and one waited, one did not).
Because I suggested the idea, all of a sudden I’m completely emotionally immature, stunted, manipulative and a total bridezilla? I wanted advice and I got insults. I personally think it’s pretty emotionally immature, stunted and manipulative to coerce someone into sex. But Lord knows enough people are okay with that.
I’ve been through a lot. We’ve been through a lot together. Two weeks, three weeks, four weeks without sex wouldn’t be the end of the world. When I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, I bled for about 6 weeks and there was no sex. We lived. That PCOS diagnosis led to a real conversation about the role of sex in our marriage. We may not be able to have kids and the PCOS will, without a doubt, lead to prolonged periods of no sex due to prolonged periods. He’s okay with waiting. My comfort and, more importantly, my health are more important than my boinking him.
If I had any idea people would rip me apart worse than a sex-started 23 year old man, I wouldn’t have even asked. I came to you all for help, not name-calling and insults.
Thank you all who gave constructive, helpful and insightful comments. And those of you who are clearly so bitter about the topic, I’m sorry for you. Someone must have hurt you badly, and I apologize that I brought up such a painful topic.
You worded your post extremely poorly. And you really didn’t explain a damn thing either. You basically came off in your OP as the official keeper of the putang. Folks around here aren’t mind readers you know.
And why should you be insulted if the insults arent based upon reality because the people who made them couldnt tell what the reality was ?
.
I can’t help but think an OP worded along the lines of “My fiance and I have been talking about abstaining from sex for awhile before our wedding, even though we’re usually shagging like happy rabbits. I’ll be honest, it was my idea-- I think it might make our first time together as marrieds feel more special. He’s dubious, but willing to give it a shot. Anyone here ever try this? Any thoughts?” would have gotten a VERY different set of responses.
Probably not for someone who wasn’t kind of kinky. But for me, yes.
This is what I interpreted the OP to mean. And I’ll note that those who are married or affianced or otherwise involved in committed, sexually satisfying relationships seemed to react pretty nonchalantly. The most voluble responses seemed to come from the more histrionic dopers. Frankly, the OP was a sort of Rorschach test on sexual insecurities, in my opinion.
Ask a shitty question – get shitty answers.
You got precisely what you asked for. You may have asked incorrectly, but we’re not mind-readers; all we know is what you told us. Please re-read the OP. You came off as a manipulative, self-centered, immature . . . (I’m looking for a noun, here, that can be used outside the Pit). And then you waited 12 hours to get back here, to correct your mistake. Sorry, my opinion hasn’t changed.
I agree with the above posts about unilaterally deciding to do this, and the stance that it may not be the best idea ever. I particularly liked the thought of beginning married life with communication instead…
But one thing no one has commented on, unless I missed it, is would abstaining for a month or so really make it any more or less “special”? Let’s face it, good sex is good sex regardless of how long it has been. I think it would just make one more grateful for the sex rather than improving the quality- or perhaps have the opposite effect of making the sex really bad because it was rushed in an attempt to satisfy that urge NOW!
My husband while active duty military was deployed frequently to everywhere and often on missions lasting 3 months or more. We were forced by necessity to abstain for those months, and when he came home the sex was indeed great, but not any more special or even “better” than on our wedding night or the day before our wedding or the week before that or the month before that, or even the first time we had sex together (years before the wedding).
NVM
Now that the OP has been clarified…
My parents’ sex life was pretty bad in general, from what Mom tells me. Their dry spells were generally due to medical issues and did not improve the sex at all. They did improve their fertility, as all three of us kids got made during/after dry spells.
My maternal grandparents had a much more active and fulfilling sex life. There were many times of no conjugal sex (he was a salesman, often a travelling salesman visiting customers on a fixed quarterly route) but, well… that means she wasn’t getting any, he was visiting his friends with benefits as well as his customers. She still refuses to believe he had any on the side because of how urgently he’d pull her into the bedroom when he arrived.
And then we have ems’ testimony. I don’t know how good their sex life is when they can be together normally, but currently they spend most of their time an ocean apart. She definitely looks forward to hubby time 
Make sure you factor stubble-avoidance into the equation.