Yes, that seems entirely probable that you would be unwilling to own up to the results of your behavior.
Stranger
I’m a guy, but I had long hair in my college days. Cutting someone’s hair without their permission is inexcusable, as is making any long-term alteration in someone else’s appearance.
Hey, I’m certainly not condoning Susan’s behaviour and agree it was a monumentally shitty thing to do. What I was challenging was the (seeming) consensus here that it was worth losing (what appeared to be) an otherwise satisfactory friendship.
YMMV and all of that, meh.
Shoot, one of my friends got honestly upset at getting his lame 80s rat tail cut off, and that was only about 3 inches, and no one expected a 24-year old man to have one. The OP’s story is just over the line.
A “friend” who sees fit to attack my person or belongings with an edged implement should probably plan on losing more than my friendship. Seriously, I have friends who play some pretty rough tricks on each other (try ending fifteen miles in on a multi-day hiking trip only to find your tent replaced by a giant rainbow banner) but none who would hack away at someone’s hair.
Stranger
This post should be quoted every time you get on your self-righteous high horse.
That was some shit!
While you could technically take it to court all this huffing and puffing over filing criminal assault charges is kind of silly given the context and scope of what happened. It was a not unheard scenario of drunks behaving badly. If Susan is that much of a loose cannon Jen should count herself lucky all she lost is few inches of hair. Being buddies with people who are out of control when they drink is dangerous is the extreme.
Jen is doing the right thing. Taking a penny from this woman would let her fell she had paid her debt for violating her friend.
I know this is absolutely none of my business, but…what? Why the heck not? And who cares what’s in Susan’s mind? She can’t make Jen be friends with her!
Tell Jen to grow a spine, make Susan be financially responsible for the damage she caused, and then to write her off completely. Why let her off the hook to pay for repairing the damage? Do you really believe Susan’s going to be so broken-hearted over the loss of Susan’s friendship? Do you really think she valued Susan’s friendship in the first place, if she could do something so spiteful to her? If Susan is not made to pay for the repair (in advance - get a quote from the hairdresser or she’ll blow it off), she gets a complete pass on this!
I’m sorry, but that really chaps my butt and I don’t even have a dog in this fight.
Haircuts don’t cost $300
Susan offered to pay for a haircut and presumably try to patch up the friendship.
If Jen then goes out of her way to get an obscenely priced haircut just to screw Susan over, that’s a dick move. Two wrongs, etc. I wouldn’t blame Susan for realizing that Jen had no intention of patching up the friendship and was instead playing a silly vindictive game.
YOUR haircuts don’t cost $300. Some do. And the fact that sometimes consequences exceed your expectations is a good reason not to do stupid, mean stuff.
If I were Susan, I’d consider a $300 haircut an excellent alternative to lawyers’ fees.
Plus we’re talking trying to salvage a hairstyle when it’s wildly uneven and has been hacked off, not the usual “trim the split ends and bangs” that you might do with very long hair when trim-time comes around. I’d want a real pro working on it.
These are personal attacks, which as you both know, are against the rules. No warnings this time, don’t do it again or there will be.
Ellen Cherry
IMHO Moderator
Heh - you’re cute.
I’m assuming that a haircut probably doesn’t cost $300 in rural China; however, I suspect that any woman living in an urban setting could find a $300 haircutter with no trouble at all.
In fact, they could probably find someone who charges quite a bit more than that, and many people who are willing to pay it.
Your experience isn’t universal and all that.
I vote aghast, and it is an assault, and we should ostracize Susan, whose understanding of personal boundaries is scary. If I was a regular in this bar I think I’d like Susan barred from returning. I also think Susan loses what might possibly have been the opportunity to redeem herself, at least partly, by not profusely apologizing. But some moderation is in order, as assaults get a very great deal worse than this.
I was just watching an old rerun of Sex and the City where Carrie went to a party where the host insisted everyone remove their shoes. By the end of the night, Carrie’s brand new $400 Manolo’s had walked away with another greedy party goer. Fast forward to a few days later, the hostess offered to pay for Carrie’s shoes, but when Carrie said how much they were, the hostess started chastising her for buying such expensive shoes and saying she refused to pay for Carrie’s expensive lifestyle. It’s also worth noting that the lady in question ALSO had lots of the same kind of shoes (much like the OP’s friends use the same hair dresser)-- she simply said she wouldn’t give Carrie $400, even if that’s how much the shoes were.
Anyway, to me, my opinion of this is the same as that. Whether the OP’s friends get $10 Supercuts or $300 high end salon cuts, the point is that when homegirl whipped out the scissors and went to slicing, she was well aware how much it would cost her friend to repair the damage. They go to the same hairdresser, so it’s not like the attacker thought a $10 Super Cut would fix what she did. So yeah, she should have to pay the $300 if that’s the cost. Sorry.
Exactly. If someone totals your car which is a $50,000 2011 BMW they’re not allowed to replace it with a $400 1976 Ford Pinto just because both do basically the same thing.
Yes. I agree. She should have to pay whatever the cost of their shared hair stylist is. I am sure she was assuming that when she sent the text message saying she would do so. But, this stylist’s prices are not how the $300 number in this thread came about.
I could see Susan justifiably balking over a trip to a salon that charges more than the woman they usually use to style their hair.
I could see Susan sucking it up, since she’s the one who did the stupid, mean, and ohbythewaybatshitcrazy haircut.
It really depnds. My 20 year old daughter screwed up her hair color with a home dye job a few years ago and I told her she could get it fixed on my credit card. the total “fix” was $ 225.00 at a local salon. as it went through a few dye stages to get it back to where she was. Re pricing I’m in tertiary demographic area. In the big city a “fix it” cut might cost a chunk of change.
Something tells me Susan wouldn’t balk if Jen decided to go for a cheapie $15 cut when she normally got, say…a $50 cut. (Numbers made up for sake of example.)