D&D Movie Trailer

In My Humble Opinion
21

Narile:

If that rationale was so convincing, then why does the new 3rd Edition D&D define a melee round as lasting 6 seconds instead of a full minute?
Oh, and some more possible lines of dialog:

“I have to be lawful good. Otherwise I would lose all these swell paladin powers, and then I wouldn’t be able to kill as many people and take their treasures.”

“He died again? That’s the third time this week! Forget it, I’m not ponying up any gold pieces to pay for that Raise Dead spell this time. He can pay his own tab.”

“Now that I’ve killed 40 more orcs, I’m much better at picking locks.”

22

How about:

“Now that I’ve killed 40 more orcs, I am somehow more able to handle being shot in the gut with a crossbow?”

23

Tracer, I am merely pointing out that the rules didn’t claim that a person was swinging once a minute.

That said, I also pointed out several falacies(sp) in the one good blow a minute system.

As for fun cliche’s…

“It looks dangerous, probably booby trapped.”
“Its Ok, we will just send in hired Polish Minedetectors.”
(I attack the Gazebo!)
(Look! Its Vecna’s head!)

24

“Wow, that last hobgoblin we killed was carrying a fortune! I feel so much more experienced now that I’ve taken the coins and gems out of his pocket.”

(2nd Edition AD&D still maintained the “one experience point per gold piece acquired” rule, as an optional rule in a little blue box on the lower-right of p. 47 in the DMG. In 3rd Edition D&D, the rule is conspicuously absent.)

25

For a fantasy novel that pokes fun at the D&D cliches, try Another Day, Another Dungeon.

26

OrkBusters in Paranoia…I loved finding the room with the monsters in it playing poker. Every so often a number would come up on a board and a monster would look up, grab a weapon and leave the room…it was the wandering monster waiting room.

27

Check out this review for Dungeons and Dragons. I’d like to point out that this person does not work for the production company and isn’t a relative of the director. I got this from http://www.darkhorizons.com. By the way, the second Lord of the Rings trailer should be on Final Fantasy(in case you are wondering).

D&D is an absolutely amazing debut by Canadian newcomer COURTNEY SOLOMON (it’s a guy). I would dare to state that a new successful franchise has been born. I am already sure there will be a D&D2 en 3, because I think D&D is much BETTER than STAR WARS Episode One!!! I had expected a kind of MORTAL KOMBAT, but I think it goes WAY beyond that.

The movie is a high speed adventure in which one great scene follows another, mixing the best of STAR WARS (fx, characters), INDIANA JONES (adventure, (Note: spoiler; remember the opening of RAIDERS!), DARK CRYSTAL/LABYRINTH (creatures, costumes and art direction), DARK CITY (the gloomy darkness and cinematography) X-MEN (super power fx), THE MUMMY (humor), etc. It is an excellent warm-up for EVERYBODY who’s waiting for LORD OF THE RINGS!

Because it is based on the role playing game I know every D&D fan has his own version of the story in his head - a reason why I won’t get into the story in this review - but the movie keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time, because there is just no time to pause and sit back. I expect the audience to be much broader than just the gamers, because, like I saw it, the movie can be seen completely separate from the game (unlike MORTAL KOMBAT for example; without knowing the game, it’s crap).

The casting is excellent. D&D has a fresh young cast and avoided the type-casting of faces familiar to the genre. Although I did not like SCARY MOVIE or any of his earlier roles, Marlon Wayans is absolutely great. He definitely adds a lot of humor, something which SW1 lacked. (By the way, I loved Marlon’s performance in REQUIEM FOR DREAM too! What a powerful movie).

The main character, played by Justin Whalin, definitely steals the show as our new hero. He should also be a big interest for the female audience. Should they ever be looking for a young Han Solo in SW3, try this guy!

The male audience can enjoy the attractive Zoe McLellan who is the female part of the heroic trio we follow throughout the story. The chemistry between the three is great.

The absolute bad ass of the movie is the very believable Bruce Payne who stays in his villainous character chillingly well. I would want to mention a couple of others, but unfortunately there were no credits yet and IMDB is not much of help either (I am not even sure if Bruce Payne is the right name with the right character). Fact is, that because you can identify with the characters so well, you are sucked in right away. Only minor flaw is the performance of the in AMERICAN BEAUTY so promising and powerful Thora Birch. Her acting (and character) is very reminiscent of Queen Amidala /Natalie Portman. D&D proves how important the human characters still are; even in a genre that rests heavily on the SFX (Qui-Gon, Jar Jar anybody?).

The SFX are absolutely amazing: the dragons (especially the ending) and the 3D landscapes and buildings are breathtaking. Think the fabulous imagery of Naboo and know you’ll get vistas like that at least six times as many in D&D and I would dare say: far more impressive! Art direction, set pieces and costumes are equally outstanding.

What is absolutely amazing is that this movie supposedly has been made for only $35 million! Even more amazing is the fact that COURTNEY SOLOMON never directed a movie before (“Not even a student movie” he told me, when I got a chance to talk to him briefly after the screening outside of the theater.) He has been working on this project practically all his life so it is his dream come true.

I would not be surprised that this modest and shy young director will soon get a call from a Mr. Spielberg or Lucas. Should the last-mentioned be looking for a director for SW3 I tell you his search is over! I applaud the bravery of producer Joel Silver to put his confidence in Solomon and giving him this chance. It’s gonna pay off! I am confident that in the US the film is in excellent hands with NEW LINE who are experts in marketing the genre.

They will get a head start on THE LORD OF THE RINGS with similar subject matter, reaching the same audience, so expect the LORD OF THE RINGS trailer before this one as of December 8th! In the rest of the world it’s up to the independents!

With the limited budget and the fairly inexperienced cast (except for the great-and-mean-as usual Jeremy Irons) Solomon has made a movie that definitely delivers all the thrills you want. Can’t wait to see it again.

28

Narile wrote:

I think we’re all aware of the justification given in the rules. The reason we continue to make fun of it is because it’s bullshit. They wanted the round to be a minute long, so they made it a minute long, which was bullshit. They tried to justify it by saying that you’re actually making a lot of attempts to hit the enemy, but you only roll for the one that has the best chance to hit, which is bullshit. We know it’s bullshit because if Honknar is standing within striking distance of six guys in a room who are all held, while the rest of the party is dealing with some other threat in the hallway and we ask TSR, “Can Honknar stab all six of them with his sword of quickness in a minute round?” the answer is going to be “No.” Why? The bullshit story they give you about dodging and weaving and fumbling in the chaos doesn’t apply, but you can still only swing once in that minute, because they said so. We know it’s bullshit, they know it’s bullshit, so we continue to make fun of the one-swing per minute rule.

Mahaloth:

Criminy. Get that guy a Kleenex.

Those of you interested in meta-game humor might also be interested in the meta-genre humor of Terry Pratchett. If you’re a D&D fan but somehow haven’t ever heard of Terry Pratchett and his Discworld series, well, you’ve heard of him now – go to the bookstore right this minute. This quote, which I’m actually taking from the GURPS Discword book, ought to give you some idea of the kind of humor we’re talking about:

“Discworld non-humans can usually comprehend basic trade, but they do not necessarily think naturally in terms of standardised units of exchange. Trolls, for example, base their intraspecies trade on lumps of rock. Dwarfs have a keen and precise idea of the values of precious metals, but only shape it into standardised lumps because humans expect it; they would really rather measure nugget weights to the microgram, and argue for hours over metal purity.”

You may also enjoy Diana Wynne Jones’ The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, which makes fun of many of the conventions of fantasy fiction with the conceit that it’s a tourist’s guidebook:

"Languages are seldom as numerous or as difficult to learn as those of our own world. Most Tours arrange for all inhabitants to speak the same Language or else for most people to know the Common Tongue, even if they speak some other tongue to their families. The exception to this is the Other Continent, where Tourists will have to master a little of the Language. On some Tours, the Management will arrange for a convenient translaton Spell to be cast just as the Tourist is entering the world. But none of this applies to Magic. The Language of Spells is usually highly obscure. Sometimes it is the same as the Old Tongue, sometimes not. The Old Tongue is what the really important Scrolls will be written in (possibly in Hieroglyphs or Runes), and you will need a translator for that. There is only one of it. Evidently the former inhabitants spoke only the one Language. This seems to make it very potent. Just occasionally, when a Tourist is truly beleaguered by Magic, either trying to get through a magic door that will not open or about to lose to someone Evil, the Old Tongue has a way of suddenly making itself known. Then the Tourist will find her/himself crying out strange words. But do not expect this to happen too much.

See also Capital Letters and Speech"

29

Johnny, Read The Truth yet? Was a little disappointed, I had hoped that given mostly new characters we’d get another work on the level of Small Gods Instead I feel it is about on par with Wyrde Sisters.

30

For that matter, try The Intercontinental Union of Disgusting Characters. Not that I’m bragging or anything.

31

Question. I have no speakers at work, and at home I only have linux. Since Apple has yet to release a version of their QuickTime plaer for linux, or allow use of the Sorenson codec, is there a place online where I can find a copy of the trailer converted to another format?

32

Yet another reason why I won’t let those Linux weenies talk me into installing it…

33

We used to run what we called `Goober Dungeons’, which consisted of three rooms. In the first two were random monsters and treasure. In the third there was a potion of gain level.

Each character (this was Basic) rolled his stats right down the line, and picked a class. Then he rolled for a random magic item which we called the `grandma’s closet’ item. A character was assumed to be capable of using any item he found in his grandma’s closet.

As soon as the monsters from the second room died, the characters would immediately turn on eachother, and the one who survived would get to step through the door and quaff the free level.

When all of us had won at least one of these at first level, we’d have a second level Goober Dungeon with our surviving characters.

It was a lot of fun, and if I were writing the D&D movie, there would be Goober Dungeon tournaments.

34

Because of all the software companies that are selling non-linux products won’t offer for linux? That could go on for some time…
Better to ask why I’m all linux at home, even though it means I can only listen to, not watch, quicktime trailers.
Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with the thousands of free applications for linux?
Nawww.

35

1> races that are not “intristicly evil” rarely show up as “evil”. Ie, an “evil” thief. who was just a pickpocket, and had never killed anyone, and was good to his mother would not show up as 'evil". Undead, assasins (real ones), EHP, demons, etc all show up as evil, eg.

  1. have you every seen how much is costs to have an NPC cas this for someone? Most peasants can’t afford it. And, if you were missing your eyes, that would take a 'regen" spell. 7th level.

3> Dwarves, and clerics of certain gods can make weapons & armour of up to +3 withouyt any spelss to speak of- they have said that these are the sources of most low level +ed weapons & armor.

36

Danielinthewolvesden wrote:

Aha. This explains why I’ve never known a character to cast it under the 2nd edition rules. By the time you are running into 9th level baddies, you already have access to the more powerful Know Alignment.

But looking, I notice that there weren’t nearly such qualifications on the spell in 1st edition. It must have really been pissing DMs off to require this big a nerf.

The thing is that this in itself becomes an issue. The refusal to cast a cure disease on a poor farmer because he could not cough up the turnips would definitely reflect badly on the cleric’s alignment. But this issue never comes up. I would think that they gouge the rich (adventurers in particular) but use their spells charitably on the poor. That makes sense, but it still doesn’t explain why there aren’t enough cure diseases to go around. Sure, not all priests can cast spells. But those that can have those spells back the day after they cast them. In theory, one priest can keep a whole community in good health.

Where was this? I mean, I think it’s a fine explanation, but I don’t remember seeing it in any of my books. I also have only heard anecdotally that cursed weapons are failures at creating enchanted weapons. But there are still magic items that it seems odd that some mage busted a nut to make.

37

Johnny Angel described his “goober dungeons” thusly:

Why would they do this? Was some kind of ring-of-conflict in effect in the second room? Or was this the only way to make the door to the 3rd room open?

D&D dungeons are enough like Survivor already without having to force the characters to kill each other. :wink:

38

tracer wrote:

Because only one person could get the free level, so nobody was going to turn his back long enough to reach for the door until everyone else was dead.

39

Oh! Oh! Here’s another D&D cliche that ought to appear in the movie:

An experienced fighter gets blasted full-on in the chest with a cannon. The cannon ball has impaled him so deeply that it’s practically sticking out of his back. He shrugs and quips, “Big deal, I can get hit like that 4 more times before I have to heal.”

40

Marlon Wayons? Marlon Friekin’ Wayons??!!
Why would anyone go make their multi-million event movie, and then cast THE most idiotic, annoying, moron on the planet?? I mean c’mon… The trailer was going fine until I say that face, and heard that voice, and that was pretty much it…