Yesterday, we were watching “X-Mas 1987”, my home-made tape of all the Network Christmas Specials that I recorded back in (you guessed it) 1987. Anyways, we were watching Pee Wee Herman’s Christmas Special, and one of the guest stars comes on and starts singing. My daughter got real quiet, and after a minute said: “Daddy? Is that a boy or a girl?” She had knit her brow in determination, trying to unravel the gender of this androgenous person on the TV in front of her, but still the question hung there, in my livingroom, like an unwelcome guest. The person on Pee Wee’s XMas special, and the source of my 4-year-old daughter’s consternation was
That woman sings like a goddamn angel. But I understand your daughter’s confusion. When she puts on a suit, it’s pretty tough to tell one way or another. Her face (to me, anyway) is very feminine, but she can turn on very masculine body language.
I have a couple of very butch friends that I always make sure to call Ms. so-and-so in the presence of my son. I live in fear of the day he says “I thought you were a boy” to her. God knows we’re just now getting past the “uncle jeff has a boyfriend” talks and that mommy’s friends Carla and Jane love each other like Mommy and Daddy do.
Oh well, better to explain at five than try to deprogram hate at the adult level.
Well, when my family saw K.D. Lang for the first time in the late 80s on a music awards show, we could not figure out her gender. Nor was there internet around to help. We were in Germany and had not seen her in the popular media before that.
I think what threw my daughter was the short hair and K.D. sang most of her song in a very low voice. I don’t know what she was really all about in her career, my only exposure to her is the Pee Wee Herman XMas special, and K.D. really hams it up, showing a tremendous vocal range and she put on a very novel performance. I presume because it was a Pee Wee Herman special she was asked to put on an at least semi-comedic performance.