Nope.
"Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore… "
See this site.
Deliberately subjecting others to the risk of contracting a painful and incurable disease amounts to sociopathic behavior.
No, it’s not true. Transmission is much higher during an outbreak, but viral shedding has been shown to occur in the absence of lesions. The dogma now is that HSV is transmissible at all times, even when you are on suppressive therapy. Viral shedding happens at a low rate, even with therapy. However, it dramatically increases when lesions are present. I haven’t seen any studies linking this to transmission rates, but theoretically, transmission is possible in the absence of a lesion.
DtC is quite correct here. It is likely that everyone posting here has herpes.
However- if you DO have an open herpes sore, you should not have unprotected sex, as it makes it much easier to get some other disease like AIDS.
When you are not currently in an outbreak, you very likely are non-contagious, and can have all the unportected sex you want- as far as worrying about Herpes goes. There are other good and valid reasons to wear that raincoat. 
Jackmannis quote from the CDC is technically correct- there are two times you can pass Herpes on without a visable sore- when you are having an outbreak but no sore has appeared yet (a very short time, and you generally know because of the 'tingling" feeling and other symptoms) and if there IS a sore, but it’s just not “visable”. The second is far more likely, but you would 99% know that you are in the throws of an outbreak- assuming you knew you had Herpes. (Some dudes are clueless). But do note- if you do know you have Herpes, you (if you have half a brain) also should know when you’re having an outbreak- which is the only time it is normally infectious.
The OP is incorrect. All she needed to do is not have sex during an outbreak (which are often rare), and she doesn’t need to tell anyone. Besides- if her partners aren’t sequestered monk or virgins straight off the farm, they already have Herpes.
Just dont get the virus in your eyes and you won’t go blind. If you have the infection on your fingers from rubbing, scratching or whatever and rub your eyes, and the infection is transferred, then you can go blind.
Puh-lease. Just because the guys are being stupid doesn’t absolve her from knowingly exposing them to an STD. If you don’t wear your seatbelt in my car, it’s still wrong of me to deliberately crash into a tree and send you flying through the windshield.
Who knows, that may very well be the case.
Understatement of the year. “Dayum, these weeping sores on my dick…what an annoyance.”
It’s already been stated in this thread that this is not true, Diogenes. Frankly, it’s common knowledge, though I’ll try to find a cite if you really want it. A condom reduces but certainly does not eliminate the risk of transmission of herpes. That’s assuming the condom stays intact, which is not a safe assumption either. It’s not okay to conceal information about STDs from a partner. Do you think anyone who has casual sex at all is “asking for it”?
Are you suggesting that all women, or even a substantial number of them, are manipulative sociopaths who would conceive a child with a man by deception? What kind of women have you met in your life?
Everyone should take steps to protect themselves - that’s not up for debate. But to act like that removes culpability from others? Ridiculous. If I leave my car unlocked, that doesn’t make it okay for someone to steal my CDs. If I leave my cell phone at a restaurant table when I’m in the bathroom, I’m not “asking for it” to be stolen. Those might be foolish behaviors, but the thief is still the culprit and bears responsibility for committing an immoral act. And it’s exactly the same here.
Well, if it’s something so humiliating that you can’t expect them to divulge it, then she’s also giving them a lifetime of humiliation. Right? That’s where I follow your own reasoning.
It’s not wrong to say that anyone having casual sex should use protection for their own safety. But it’s wrong to say that failure to do so removes culpability from someone who knowingly passes on a disease. I think what you’re doing is analogous to saying that a woman is “asking for it” if she walks down a dark alley wearing a tight skirt. (Note to the outrage addicts: I’m not claiming that rape and passing on herpes are morally equivalent. I’m merely stating that in both cases, it’s wrong to blame the victim.) A man who has unprotected sex with a woman he barely knows is foolish, in my opinion, but trying to assign him moral culpability for it is sick. So is excusing this cunt’s actions by saying that she was too embarrassed to tell. Guess what? If you’re too embarrassed to conduct yourself like an adult during sex, you’re too embarrassed to be having it at all.
So I am guessing that when she caught it in college she said ‘Well fiddlesticks, but that’s my own fault for having unprotected sex,’ then? Does she blame only herself for getting herpes in the first place? Or was she upset with the guy that gave it to her for not telling her (assuming she did not knowingly have sex with someone with a herpes outbreak).
Maybe she is still angry at the guy who gave it to her and this is her way of dealing with it? Just a guess, I don’t know her. You can point out that she is at risk of getting more than herpes if she is having unprotected sex. If she doesn’t know the guy well enough to tell him she has a disease, my guess is he ain’t telling her, either.
This is also untrue.
A high percentage of adults (not all) will have been exposed to herpes simplex virus (usually HSV-1) at some point in their lives, may have developed cold sores (on non-genital sites such as the face), and carry inactive virus, typically with no significant risk of infecting others.
A much lower percentage have been exposed to genital herpesvirus (usually HSV-II).
Dead wrong, and dangerous advice.
Again, from yet another good source: “Even if you’re asymptomatic, you can transmit the virus,” says Stanka Kukich, M.D., a medical team leader in the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. In fact, studies have shown that most people get HSV from sexual contact during times of asymptomatic viral shedding."
Jackmannii, M.D., also M.S. in Microbiology with thesis project on herpes virus.*
*this being one of those rare times I can toot my horn on this and actually have it be relevant to the discussion.
Sociopathic, my ass. It’s just herpes. It’s nothing. Those guys probably already had it anyway. Most sexually active young people have it these days. Even if you don’t, you should assume that anyone you have sex with does. It really isn’t anything to get outraged about. Get some perspective, for fuck’s sake.
NAF1138, is your friend particularly clueless about STDs and pregnancy and AIDS and stuff? Her answers sound like someone who really doesn’t have a clue. I think maybe you should pick up a whole bunch of pamphlets for her, because she needs a lot more information.
I think Diogenes makes some good points, too. The guys not wearing condoms are at fault here, too. They’re at fault for a different reason than she is, but they’re not the innocent victims, either. They chose to not wear protection.
I can’t believe people actually think having an STD/I is actually different because of one’s gender, and that it’s actually the partner’s responsibility for getting the disease.
This really infuriates me. Look, if I’m sleeping with you, I don’t care how many guys or girls you’ve slept with, OK? I don’t even care if you have AIDS. I care about you being honest with me. Considering all that we’re sharing and all the risk involved these days, I’m really, really trusting you to tell me everything that’s going on, because you could fuck up my life forever.
I like to think that I only have sex with girls who aren’t “too emotionally fragile” to tell me whether or not they’re going to fucking ruin my life. But it’s not that easy to tell. I dated a very strong-minded girl in Arizona who, it turns out, had had sex with all of Tucson and lied to me about it. I didn’t care that she had had sex with all of Tucson–that’s fine by me, and honestly, there have been times when I wished I could have–what fucking fucks with me is that she decided it wasn’t important that she was honest with me. Thank the Lord above she didn’t give me a disease, because since she had unprotected sex with me our first time I’ll bet she did the same with at least a few others too.
You don’t even have to tell someone you have a disease. All you have to do is insist on a condom. This is especially easy for a woman, because the man will generally do whatever it takes to get inside. As much as we sometimes talk about how we hate having sex with a condom, when she makes it absolutely clear he’s not getting in there without one (without stating why) I’d bet she’ll be amazed how quickly it’ll get sheathed.
That sounds like a little much to me. I’m no monk and I don’t have herpes.
Amen!
I think I’m going to go buy some condoms.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but herpes is passed via skin contact, and condoms are ineffective. So, I must add, is HPV.
Herpes is really not the be all and end all of horibleness you may have been led to believe. Yes, for many people it is a pain in the ass, but that’s it. It’s not going to kill you. Ever had a cold sore? That’s herpes. Gential herpes is simply cold sores on your nether-reigons. No more, no less. It can be very well supressed by antiviral medications. I know several people on the antivirals who haven’t had outbreaks in years or passed it to anyone else.
So let’s stop the freaking out. It only makes people who have it more ashamed than they already are. It isn’t a terrible or slutty thing to have happen to you, it’s an adult thing to have happen. And your attitude isn’t helping anyone.
But speaking of the passing of various viruses, let’s do some fun math!
Ok, according to various statistics from the CDC and ASHA, 1 in 7 people have herpes, and 1 in 4 carry HPV. Boo-yah.
Now, let’s assume you have had sex with 8 people in your lifetime. We don’t care if you’ve used condoms, they were virgins, whatever. These things won’t save your butt from herp or HPV.
Ok, 8 people.
2 of them will have had HPV.
At least 1 of them will have had herpes.
So your chances of already having run into these little beasties is 1/4 to 3/8.
Odds you HAVEN"T already been exposed:
.75x.75x.75x.75x.75x.75x.75x.75= 0.1001, or 10% chance of escape, 90% chance of exposure to at least one of these buggers.
There’s a good chance you are already a silent carrier or have had HPV and fought it off without ever knowing. Slept with more than 8 people? Hoo-boy, one day your roulette wheel is going to crap out on you.
All proud of yourself for waiting until marriage? Ha ha. Oral herpes, present in something around 90% of the population, will merrily migrate through oral sex or using saliva as a lube.
Hey aruvgan- stop spreading the fear. Eeye herpes rarely causes blindness. Hurts like a bee-atch though. But you won’t get it through sex.
Are you or were you a wrestler? Herpes is VERY common in this population, and shows up on fingers. A case of the Roman hands or Russian fingers will allow Mr. Herpes to go to the genitals. Or eyes. Or nose.
Look, this virus stinks. It’s a bummer. But it isn’t cause for a panic attack or fear mongering or ringing your hands in the night. Know the risks. Act accordingly. If you have or suspect you have it, see a doctor for acyclovir or valtrex. Try hard not to laugh when the symbol on one form of the generic is the Christian fish. Tell recent and future partners. And don’t let anyone treat you as something less than the fabulous human being you are because a very tiny virus lives in your spine. If they do, hand them some reading material and kick them to the curb.
I agree with many posters here that Herpes is not the plague people are trying to make it out to be. Herpes as an STD/STI has always existed. Herpes sucks, but coming into sexual contact with someone who isn’t in the throes of an outbreak or an impending outbreak isn’t likely to infect you.
While I don’t have HSV sexually, I can remember my frequent oral outbreaks when I was a kid. You KNOW when you’re about to have an outbreak. Most responsible people will not have sex with a partner when in this condition and if your friend wasn’t in the stages of outbreak, you shouldn’t have a fucking fit.
Sam
I already said she should have told them, but not all STDs are equal. Failing to inform someone about something as trivial and commonplace as herpes is not in the same ballpark as withholding information about AIDS.
I’m saying they are responsible for their own health and are responsible for their own risky decisions.
Nope. Hell, I’ve been dogpiled on this very message board for arguing that women are NOT likely to do that in any significant numbers, but the number is still not zero, so guys have to be aware of that.
All kinds. I have known exactly one who stopped taking the pill and lied to her boyfriend (my roommate at the time) about it. She was kind of nutty. It happens.
When have I said otherwise?
I didn’t say it was ok for the woman not to tell those guys. I said it wasn’t ok. I also said the guys were still idiots for having unprotected sex, and that herpes is not some huge tragedy anyway.
What I’m saying is that they should be aware that their casual partners are not necessarily going to be reliable self-reporters and that any casual encounter involves a risk. Herpes is a particularly high percentage possibility.
I never said otherwise.
I don’t assign any “moral” cupability to the guy. I’m just saying he’s an idiot who knowingly took a risk and paid a minor consequence.
I’m sorry. I don’t see it as the crime of the century. She was wrong, but she isn’t Satan. I renew my call for perspective.
Herpes, the love bug.
I’ll use the same logic on the next chic I knock up. Just change herpes to pregnant or baby. Except in this case you can’t decide NOT to have herpes after you’re infected. It is a big deal, I don’t want it and any information my partner shares with me will only help me make the best decision to protect the both of us.
You’re a pro-choice person, correct? In this case the choice needs to be made BEFORE the act. The infected guy doesn’t get to go to the clinic and have the herpes terminated.
I had a friend who picked up herpes from performing oral on a guy who had it and didn’t tell her. She was pissed.
I don’t think the main problem here is necessarily the herpes, it’s mostly a PITA for those who have it from what I’ve heard. But it is wrong, wrong, wrong not to let somebody know you have it before anything happens. It’s not like you aren’t going to know you’ve got it if you do, once you’ve had an outbreak.
I’d be willing to take the chance of picking it up from my SO if he had it, because I adore him. That’s an entirely different situation, though, than this one.
The flaw in your logic is that the acquistion of a herpes virus does not remotely have the same impact on a person’s life as an unwanted pregnancy.
Once again, yes the woman should have told them, but it’s not like their lives would be destroyed by HSV. They probably already had it anyway.
Call me crazy but I’d rather not have sores on my penis or take antiviral medication for an indefinate amount of time.