Dangit hit the wrong button,
Anyways, You may not think its that big of a deal but it certainly looks like it is to me. What she is doing is inexcusable, she should not knowingly expose her partners to diseases unless he agrees. Saying something to the effect of “whats the big deal its just Herpes” is wrong and serves to lessen her crime.
And here we see the inevitable spot in the debate where Diogenes, upon facing others’ disagreement, melts down and starts lying. “Most sexually active young people have it these days” contradicts the statement of the doctor/microbiologist above you (who wrote a thesis on herpes.) I think it’s safe to say you’re making shit up at this point. Even the most generous estimates I’ve heard of its prevalence in sexually active young people in urban areas don’t claim that a majority of people have the disease.
Since you’ve already argued that it’s humiliating to have to tell someone about the disease, don’t turn around and then say, “It’s nothing.” Genital herpes may not be that big of a deal, but if these guys are more responsible than this worthless bitch, they’ll have to tell every sex partner in the future that they have it (and since condoms don’t eliminate the risk of transmission, just using a condom is not a replacement for divulgence.)
Wrong. As has already been thoroughly explained with citations in this very thread (can you people please stop spreading misinformation when the resources to learn the truth are available with a simple upwards flick of the scroll wheel? What the fuck is that? Why would you do that?), condoms reduce but do not eliminate the risk of transmission. Strictly speaking, that’s true of all STDs (except maybe crabs. Do they count? How come no one ever talks about the crabs anymore?) since condom failure rates are nonzero. Given that, it’s your responsibility to tell your sex partners if you’ve got an STD no matter what. It won’t chase away all your partners, and for the love of God, people have the right to make informed decisions about who they’re sleeping with. As Diogenes has thoroughly proven, you can’t count on a partner to do so because they may self-righteously claim that you’re asking for it by having unprotected sex - but the fact that completely immoral behavior is common doesn’t mean it’s okay.
Firstly, as the posts in this thread indicate, most people already know that. Deliberately infecting someone else with a disease is not okay just because it’s not a bad disease. What sort of reasoning is that? It’s okay to steal a candy bar because at least it’s not a car? Sure, it’s a lesser crime than passing AIDS, but that doesn’t mean it’s somehow acceptable.
Secondly, no, cold sores are not the same as genital herpes. Cold sores are Herpes Simplex type I while genital herpes is Herpes Simplex type II. (At least ordinarily speaking. Of course oral-genital transmission results in occasional cases in which one is spread to the other part of the body.) Secondly, I’m not infected to my knowledge with cold sores. Infection with type I is not universal, just common. I’m happily herpes-free, and I intend to keep the streak alive if I can.
True, but the risk of spreading it, even when not experiencing an outbreak, and even when on antivirals, is merely small, not non-existent. It’s documented to happen, and medical advice is quite clear that it is transmissible even when it’s not visible. So it’s still not okay to do so, even if you’re not broken out.
Excuse me? You’ve got straw in your hair, ma’am. No one said any of the things you’re so eloquently countering. Most folks here have indicated a reasonable degree of familiarity with the consequences of genital herpes. And no one has called her a “slut” for having it. She’s a slut because she won’t make the adult decision here - either be honest with your partners, or keep your legs shut. Being a pathetic, childish bitch who is willing to pass her disease on to others is what makes her a slut. Having it in the first place is just unfortunate. And I have two fairly good friends with the disease, and they are both responsible about it, so I know it can be done. This girl is just a complete bitch who puts her immediate desire to sleep with someone ahead of his health. The fact that it’s not a bad disease does not mean it’s okay to pass it on to others.
I don’t get your attitude here. I’m all for working to reverse the stigma attached to herpes. It’s not a terrible disease, it’s relatively common, and so on. That does not mean, however, that it’s okay to give it to others. People have the right to make informed decisions and take informed risks with their bodies. Part of that is having honest sexual partners. Obviously, like I said, you can’t count on that - there’s plenty of folks willing to excuse blatant dishonesty - and that’s why you should use protection regardless. But sex is always a risk, and like all risks, we roughly quantify it and then decide whether or not to do it. That process breaks down when someone decides to lie about what’s growing between their legs. It’s bad reasoning to argue that since someone knowingly undertook risk of a certain negative outcome, or a certain amount of risk, that they therefore consented to a much worse risk as well. That just doesn’t stand up to reason, and it’s limiting everyone’s freedom in the end if we all decide to treat matters like this as a free-for-all. Once it becomes all-or-nothing - either you get your partner tested and wear a condom, or else you have no right to get upset when you get diseases - then a person who is comfortable somewhere in the middle can no longer engage in whatever level of behavior, undertaking whatever risk they choose. I shouldn’t have to be Mother Theresa in order to avoid STDs, and people need to be honest with their partners.
All this talk about how herpes isn’t that bad is completely irrelevant because you don’t get to make decisions about what risks someone else should be willing to take. If your partner is willing to risk contracting herpes and wants to bareback, and you’re okay with that, then fine. If they decide to use a condom because of it, that’s they’re right. Same if they decide not to do it at all. It’s not your decision, it’s theirs. People make decisions for themselves, and it’s fucking twisted to try to diminish what this bitch did by saying it wasn’t that bad. It’s his health, his body, and his sex life - therefore it’s his decision.
inkleberry, I like and respect you, and I absolutely agree that herpes should be regarded as a fairly common and basically benign condition. To my knowledge, it’s not strongly associated with any health consequence worse than sores on the junk. I agree that it’s not that bad. I simply strongly feel that those who don’t share my opinion on it also have the right to make whatever decision is compatible with their beliefs in that regard.
And I bet I’m not the only one who suspects that certain among this cunt’s defenders would be arguing the opposite if the sexes were reversed.
Is that all? Well, sign me up, then!
Look, if I’m sleeping with someone who can potentiallly condemn me to a life of periodic outbreaks of painful sores on my genitals, I expect to be informed. Condoms help reduce the risk – at the very least, there’s got to be a jimmy in play. Honesty is better.
The only thing shameful is a cavelier attitude toward other people’s health. It shouldn’t be that hard to broach the subject.
“Woot! Let’s go bareback!”
“Uh, you should know – I have herpes, but it’s in remission.”
a. “Let’s leave it wrapped up then.”
b. “No worries, a little Zovirax is all the protection we need.”
c. “Aw, honey, I don’t care. It’s only genital blisters, I’ll take that chance to be closer to you.”
d. “I’m not that serious about you and the risk of contracting herpes is more than I’m willing to take for a bit of nookie with you. Later.”
Keeping that information to yourself and having unprotected sex is outrageously irresponsible behaviour. And yes, selfish and shameful.
Then I would suggest never ever fucking anyone, washing your hands VERY well after contact with any other human, and masturbating using gloves. Also, avoid saunas.
Otherwise, you’re playing the ponies, like everyone else.
Oh, and did I mention it may well be too late? Those buggers can stay silent for years and years- over 10 isn’t unheard of.
I would suggest getting on the vaccine bandwagon to get more funding and research into vaccines for HPV and Herpes.
I’m not suggesting any of these things. Condoms won’t really help, but will protect you fairly well against other STDs, HIV, and pregnancy. So use them.
Meanwhile, I CLEARLY stated you should tell partners if you know you are infected.
But you can get it from anyone, even your momma, so drop the fear and get educated about the real odds, the real treatments, and stop running around like scared chickens. Because that’s NOT an adult attitude towards sex, either.
Word.
To your mother.
I will stop channeling vanilla ice now.
Condoms do reduce the risk of transmission. It’s just plain inaccurate to claim that they have no effect. That’s very black-and-white thinking. Not having sex is zero risk, having unprotected sex is a substantial risk, and having sex with a condom on is somewhere in the middle.
I really don’t think spreading misinformation helps matters any.
Or I can not have sex with people carrying the gential Herpes virus or I can at least use protection.
In your very first post in the thread, you said otherwise. The person who knowingly passed on the disease deserves blame. You also did a lot to justify what she did - but I don’t think “feeling embarrassed” is a legitimate excuse to take risks with another’s health. Your justification certainly implied that you were excusing her.
Why are you ignoring the fact that Herpes-I (cold sores, which almost everyone has) and Herpes-II (the genital kind) are not the same, and most of the population is not infected with the latter? Haven’t you read Jackmannii’s posts?
Nothing has the same impact on your life as the acquisition of a herpes virus, whether it be good or bad, it is what it is. I was just trying to show how your ‘decision’ making when it comes to sex isn’t very fair.
Or probably not.
I get the point that herpes isn’t really that big of a deal. I know because I have it. But I don’t think that changes the fact that what this girl is doing is unspeakably horrible, dangerous and selfish. I have had herpes for almost ten years. I have bitten the bullet and told anyone I thought I might have sexual contact with. There is no bigger mood killer than saying, “Um, before we go any further there’s something I have to tell you…” but dammit, you do it anyway because its the right thing to do. This girl is despicable. It doesn’t matter whether herpes is a horrible disease or a mere nuisance. It doesn’t change the fact that what she is doing is wrong.
Personally I couldn’t live with myself if I did what she is doing. I get to look in the mirror every day and say to myself that I am a good and respectable and trustworthy person. I would hate to feel otherwise.
Alright dude, you need to stop with the “it’s nothing.” Herpes affects people differently. For some, it is indeed nothing. For others, it’s a very big deal. It affects some people emotionally as well as physically and for some people it’s much more physically painful than for others.
Trust me. I contrated herpes from a partner who had assumed the virus couldn’t be transmitted absent an outbreak. He was wrong. He finally owned up to the fact that he had it about 3 months after we started sleeping together. By then it was too late. He didn’t have an outbreak that entire time so he didn’t feel the need to tell me. I still got it. Outbreaks for me are extremely painful (I could barely walk at one point during my first one) and affect me emotionally, to the point where I can barely stand myself. Basically, PMS on steroids. (and no, it’s not psycho-sematic, I get the emotional symptoms before the physical symptoms even appear).
So put the broad brush away and stop with the “herpes is nothing.” For many people it is indeed something.
Naw, you almost certainly had it before you had sex with him.
</Diogenes the Cynic>
I have to say that I had no idea it could be as bad as you’re describing, lezlers. Thank you for offering some helpful information. Likewise, thank you to Ghanima for demonstrating that there are plenty of folks with herpes who may be embarrassed by it but nevertheless don’t use it as an excuse.
“Pschosomatic” symptoms are physical symptoms influenced by a psychological factor, not emotional symptoms influenced by physiological factors. Any emotional reation to herpes is individualistic and not physiological in the sense that the virus affects hormones or anything like that. The emotions are not a “symptom” in themselves.
The physiological effects of herpes are minimal and non-fatal. The emotional effects have to do with indivudual psychology and are not a direct physiological manifestation of the infection.
You’re not actually reading anything anyone else is posting in this thread, are you?
When I said those guys probably had it, I meant they probably had it if it was their normal practice to have unprotected sex with strangers. See inkleberry’s statistics.
The difference is symptons is just that you get occasional outbreaks on your genitals instead of your mouth, but it’s still only fever blisters. They’re not going to kill you and the outbreaks tend subside with time. Some people never get them at all. Let’s not exaggerate what is really nothing more than a minor nuisance. Hell, psoriasis is worse than herpes.
What have I missed?
Uh, did you see them? 1 in 7 counts as “probably has it”?
Did you bother to read lezlers’ post? Or are you just so convinced that you’re right that other people’s experiences are automatically wrong?