Dammit, BBC! Stop blowing my eardrums out!

I like to watch BBC newson my Android while I’m commuting. What I *don’t *like is having my eardrums ruptured by that bloody noise at the start of their one-minute news headlines.

I know it’s meant to make the news reports sound all important and urgent and up-to-the-minute, but here’s the thing, BBC:
I’m on the train, so . . .
I’m using ear buds, and . . .
Your videos automatically crank the volume up to the max!
Every time!

PA-PA-RA-PA-PAH!!!
HERE’S THE LATEST BLOODY NEWS YOU SILLY SOUTHERN SOD!!!

And now I’ve wasted my commute ranting instead of catching up on the news.

May I piggyback on your fine rant by explaining to the news agencies that just because you say something is

BREAKING NEWS

it usually isn’t after all?

Huh. Next you’re going to tell me that speaking in a British accent doesn’t make the news items more worthy of my attention.

Then you’ll love BBC World News radio’s 8-note intro, played by a gasping trout laid on a synthesizer keyboard to imply that very important things are about to be said.

Fair point, Ulf.
For that matter, some news agencies should probably put quotation marks around the word news.
But BBC actually has some very good content.
It’s just their damn ear-splitting, brain-stabbing, news-trumpeting opening music that I can’t stand.

Unless they’re talking about science.

Or they’re not talking about something which would put them afoul of the UK’s insane defamation laws. You can ask Simon Singh about that.

To be fair, the scientific program output of the BBC is very good. The scientific reporting on the news is not so good but that is a trait in in common with most other news sources anyway.

Can I piggyback on your rant to complain about a related problem?
I fucking hate when there’s a kickin’ tune on the radio, you crank the volume, and later the song ends with a cacophony of explosion sounds added by the radio station! Radio DJ’s and station programmers are somewhere near car salesmen and billboard lawyers, in my book.

Is this, perhaps, a British thing in general? Watch an old British black-and-white movie, and take note of the violent volume shifts. It seems to be very common from the days of yore. Have they still not figured out volume balancing?

No. It’s just the moron producers at BBC World News think that setting an army of chimps armed with claw hammers loose in a steelworks and recording the results is all hip and modern.

When in fact it just sounds like something a Fifth Reich news channel would come up with.

It seems to be something the BBC do on purpose. On their catch-up service, iPlayer, each program starts with a title card for whatever channel it was originally broadcasted on, which is always approximately 47 times louder than the actual program.

You get used to pressing “mute” just in time to avoid the deafening BING…BANG BONG, WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB, THREE-eeEE, or nnnnzzzZUNG…zung…

Why anyone would care which channel it was on, is beyond me.