Dammit, do you want to go out with me or what?!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We met last year down South. You were an intern who got shipped down to help me out for a couple of weeks. From the start, you were an absolute trip. We worked hard and partied hard just about every night. We abused the expense account to eat at every outrageously expensive restaurant in the county. It was a fantastic time.
Even then, there was a spark between us. Remember that one night outside your door? But, I figured hitting on an intern who’s 2000 miles away from home and I’m your only boss (at least at the moment) would be a very bad idea, so I cooled things off.
Anyways, you went back up north and then went back to finish school. I stayed down South a while longer, then headed back to the main office. We stayed in touch with a few emails and phone calls, but I basically put it down as a nice “could have been”.

Well, anyhow, a year passes, you graduate, and you come to work full-time. We went out for a get-reacquainted drink. It was only supposed to be for a drink or two (remember you said beforehand you were tired?), but we ended up staying out until 3 (and on a work night, too.) We just fell right back into that nice rhythym we had last year, and the spark was still there. This kiss at the end of the night was very good too - demure, but with potential.
After that great night, I do the only intelligent thing - I ask you out. And you said yes. You have to cancel the first two times because of work, which I believe - hell, we work in the same office, and I know how the hours are. But when I called and emailed to try a third time, you never responded. I was disappointed, but I can deal. Either you decided that dating someone at work wasn’t a good idea, or I had just been reading the signals wrong all along.

So a couple of months go by. We see each other at work, and I stop by your office once and again to shoot the shit - even if you aren’t romantically interested, we definitely get along friendswise.

Then, it happened – you asked me out!! No definite day set, but you wanted to see me. Fan-freaking-tastic!!
But noooooooo. We plan for Wednesday - oops, you can’t go. We try for Friday - nope, change of plans. But “definitely sometime next week, Sua?” Sure, whatever. I’ll try to set up a day, and I just know something’s going to come up to wreck it.

::sigh::

2

Sorry, hon. hugs

3

Ouchies hon.

This one has idiot written all over it.

4

Danger, Will Robinson.

When this date falls through, do not accept another tentative date. She’s messing with your head, man, because she knows you’ll be willing. You’re the sure thing she can fall back on.

Don’t do it - be yourself, be free.

Unless, of course, she’s hot. No, I didn’t say that. Just say no!

5

Your probably right, Doug. On the flipside, what do I have to lose by being pathetic? I broke up with my last GF back in February. Hell, I haven’t even been on a date since June, and that really wasn’t a date – more like a lost weekend. Putting that aside, though, I’ve given your advice to more than one of my friends, and I will accept it from you.

Falcon, Medea - thankee for the sympathy. The annoying part of all this is that I don’t think she’s playing games. I don’t become attracted to that type. Which means I don’t know what the hell is going on.

Sua

6

Damn. I thought you were asking me out.

anyhow. Would it be possible to ask her WTF? not that way, of course, but, gee, I am confused. there seem to be mixed signals here, which often can mean mixed feelings, in the hopes of being open and honest to avoid potential misunderstandings…

or you could just settle for me.

7

I don’t have any plans this weekend and I love sparks!

8

Sua, I feel for ya dude!
Wouldn’t worry 'bout it though, if you take into consideration (which it seems you have) that you work together, and that these things just do happen, and perhaps if you can manage to not be so hopeful and place so much of an expectation that something may or may not kill another chance for you two to go out, perhaps it’ll just happen when the time is right. It’s obvious you’re both interested in keeping the sparks alive and who knows?.. setting something aflame?

Good luck m’man! Patience, and no expectations and you might just come out a winner! :smiley:

9

It’s kind of hard to ask her WTF, gently or not. We both work at a law firm, and technically I am her superior, even though we don’t actually work together (we don’t have a clear-cut chain of command - a problem that arises from having a hundred or so (partner) bosses. :rolleyes:). Not that I expect her to complain, but a WTF conversation is something I shouldn’t do, so I won’t.

As for settling for you, I’m afraid that’s impossible. To end up with you wouldn’t be settling ;). Where ya live?
Sua

10

I’ve gotten to know wring’s personality through that gentlemember’s (I loooove Miss Manners!) posts on this board. As you are relatively new around here, fun2d8, yer gonna have to woo me. :smiley:

Sua

11

Well, Here’s a brief description of me:

I’m intelligent, but more importantly, intellectually curious. Empathetic. Calm about bad things and enthusiastic about good things. Willing and able to impose order in your life. Fiery, but not a yeller. I have blue eyes with a definite twinkle and I’m mischevious as hell! :wink:

12

Sua implores:

Oh, why not. Can I bring my wife? She’s always complaining thatI don’t take her anywhere.

13

How you doin’?

Sua

14

Dammit, soulsling, your advice is entirely too rational. Begone, I say!!

15

Only if I get to operate the video camera.

:gd&r:

Sua

16

Well, Sua~

You may not want to have a WTF conversation, but how about just asking her what she wants? You know, “(insert name), we have made plans several times, and it has never worked out. I really enjoy spending time with you, but before we make plans again, I just want to know if you are serious about going out, or if you just want to be friends and hang out at work? Because, either way is fine with me. I just like to know where things stand.”

Or something like that, in your own words.

Just a thought.

Scotti

17

Jilted already??? I’m in Lansing MI (home of the well defined ‘chad’ :smiley: )

you’ve got a point about the WTF conversation. How bout next time she says something about it, ask “should I use pencil or pen?”

18

Good luck, Sua. Man, I hated that mixed-signals crap, back during my single days. (And of course, the ones that gave off the mixed signals were always the real hotties. Which was why it was hard to give up on them, despite the confusion. :rolleyes:)

With the benefit of hindsight, I’m all for having the ‘what’s the deal with the mixed signals’ conversation, as early as it’s apparent that you’re getting mixed signals. Which, in your case, is already.

Which brings me to the obvious question: if the structure, written and implicit ethical codes of your firm, etc. allow you to get romantically involved with an associate who doesn’t report directly to you (which seems reasonable enough to me), what problem does having such a conversation with her present?

Anyhow, good luck with that situation. Or maybe you’ll get involved with one of these lovely ladies here on the boards, and forget all about the chicko in your firm. :slight_smile:

19

FWIW, I tend to agree with Scotti and RT… Since there’s a possiblity of creating a confrontational work environment, seems to me it would be a good idea to keep work and the relationship separate (if that’s possible). Call her at home, tell how you feel, ask her where you stand, and take it from there.

I’m not really one who should talk, though, as I have a difficult time following my own advice…

20

Well, as of right now, we are set for going out tonight. I’ll report on whether it actually happens, and if it does, how it goes.

Sua