I’m not a very outgoing person at work. I have a handful of friends but I mainly keep to myself.
That said, I always make it a point of introducing myself to new employees. I do this because I want them to feel like I’m approachable should they need anything.
Anyway, about four months ago we had a new hire, I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself all day at work as I was too busy. I was, however, how able to catch her in the parking lot after work.
I introduced myself and told her if she needed anything to just ask. She was nice in her response but seemed a little taken aback.
So FF four months later, this girl is now chatty with everyone except me. Whenever I enter the room, she goes awkwardly silent. It has become very apparent, that there is something about me that puts her off.
Look, I don’t want her to be my BFF, I don’t even want her to be my friend. I just want her to NOT be creeped out by me!
LOL. Dangit! It’s driving me bonkers!
I’m trying to think of what I did to put her off, and the only thing I can think of is I approached her in the parking lot. Maybe she felt vulnerable?
Sigh… Anyway, I know there is nothing I can do to “fix” it. Any effort to do so would only make it worse. Oh well, maybe writing about it will make me feel better.
I would not give it any more thought. She may become quiet because she is saying something inappropriate for work. Saying hello and good night has gone a long way for me. Two places I like to keep my mouth shut and give people lots of space are parking lots and restrooms.
Maybe she clams up because she’s talking about the giant crush she has on you
I’d be very surprised if she’s still hung up on your little exchange four months ago, and if that’s the case, I’d say you’re just as well not to have to deal with her.
How can you be certain it was that conversation in the garage that creeped her out? It could have been an infinite number of other things you do which you’re not aware of.
If you have any relationship with the folks that you see her with, go talk to them. Not about this situation, just talk in general. And not necessarily when she’s standing there, but any time. In fact the first time make sure she’s *not *there.
Soon enough she’ll happen to see you interacting normally with those coworkers. And she’ll see you’re not a creep and most importantly she’ll see that they’re not being weirded out. Eventually you can come talk to the group while she’s already there. Definitely avoid dealing with her at all when there’s just the two of you.
Maybe that’s enough to calm her down. Or maybe she’s just one of those useless people who goes through life ruled by ignorant imaginary fears. Which you inadvertently triggered, and for which there is no un-trigger.
Live and learn for next time. Don’t approach people in parking lots. Let them come to you. Or not as they choose.
Or, maybe she feels awkward because she WAS initially a little creeped out by the parking lot encounter (possibly she was lost in thought and you startled her?). Perhaps she voiced it to someone even. And she now realizes how wrong she was and feels embarrassed for what she felt, or thought, or said.
Heh, I already tried this. One of the girls she’s most chatty with is a close work friend of mine. Creeped out girl has seen us chat and laugh together lots of times. So surely she knows I don’t keep pickled body parts in my fridge.
[And no, I can’t talk to the other girl, as she’s a big ol’ blabbermouth and will repeat anything I say to her. ]
Just to be clear … I definitely suggest you keep your concerns totally to yourself. There’s no way telling anyone, the confused girl or any third party, anything about this could possibly be helpful. It’d be sure to backfire somehow.
I’d break the ice with music. Tell her you really, really like this song:
You can take your guns to town or run
But there is no forbidden planet far enough
The slasher knows you’ll trip over a tree trunk
But you still wander off alone no matter what.
There’s no end like safe and sound
And no beauty like asleep
There’s no mattress, no soft ground
And no film treatment for my life as a creep
I’m not entirely sure that’s a bad thing. Some time, ask Blabbermouth if she knows of anything you’ve done to bother or offend NewGirl. Keep it casual, and if you think it’s really necessary, make it clear (very briefly; you don’t want to protest too much) you’re not trying to be NewGirl’s BFF or anything; you just want to make sure you haven’t done anything accidentally that you should apologize for. It’s perfectly normal to ask one person if you’ve offended another one; just don’t make it a giant deal (two sentences, max. “Hey Blabbermouth, you don’t know if I’ve offended NewGirl or anything? She just always seems extra quiet when I’m around.”)
What’s the downside in Blabbermouth telling NewGirl that? (Assuming that you really are friendly enough with Blabbermouth that she won’t actively slant everything against you, and that she’s grown-up enough to believe you. If Blabbermouth is a gossip because she likes stirring up conflict and/or so immature that she can’t believe a man isn’t trying to get into a woman’s pants, then, yeah, no conversation is called for).
