Shakes, the answer is to buy her a subscription to the SDMB; be a big spender & spring for a custom title:
The Girl Shakes Creeped Out At Work.
Tell her you’ve already put her on your Buddy list.
To make her feel more welcome, suggest she start a thread: Shakes Shakes Me Up (in the Pit or MPSIMS).
It’s a win-win-win situation - she can read this thread, tell us how she really feels about you and we gain a new [del]victim[/del] member.
we won’t tell her about/how to use the Ignore list
Apparently, it is even worse to lick their lips when they are talking to you.
Just get her fired, preferably in a way that ensures that she’ll never work in this business (whatever it is you do) AGAIN!
This was Sunday’s Dilbert cartoon. I immediately thought of this thread when I was only two panels into the strip. Enjoy!
SO perfect.
LOL.
If only dogs knew this.
What is the solution to having so much in common with Dilbert?
Ask the garbage man.
Nah, nah, nah. Stick it to the door of the stall. With a rusty 10" chef’s knife.
Well, I’m not a psychotherapist, or a psychiatrist, or a psychologist or a psychophysiologicneuromicroanatomist, or a psychotic, but I’m just as smart as any of them, so heed my advice.
You need to deploy desensitization therapy on this chick if you want to get into her pants (and, it’s quite obvious to all of us that getting into her pants is what you want…and has, in fact, devolved into an obsessive-compulsive prime directive of yours—despite unconvincing protestations to the contrary).
You know how when people have arachnophobia, the only successful treatment is to cover the entire surface area of the afflicted person with Black Widow, Brown Recluse and Sydney Funnel Web spiders, and Blue-ringed octopuses, every day for 90 days, right? Well, you need to do the same type of desensitization technique on your shy immortal beloved.
You need to sneak up on this girl and startle her on every possible occasion, day after day for at least 3 months. Sneak up on her in the parking lot, in the hallway, in the grocery store, in church, in the bathroom, in her bedroom—everywhere and anywhere at all. She will eventually come to accept this as a fun and enjoyable game.
Then, when you’re directly behind her, tap her on the shoulder, or give her a wet willy, or give her a wedgy, or pinch her buttocks Italian style. It won’t be long till she giggles with delight from these antics!
Then whisper into her ear, “hey there!”, or “yo, mama!”, or “what’s cookin’, good lookin’?”, or “do you like fine Chianti and flava beans?” Yes, she will soon be melting into you’re your arms with sexual fervor at the mere sound of your voice!
Trust me, after a couple weeks of this desensitization therapy, you will most definitely become a person of interest to this young lady (and, perhaps to some others). And, that is, after all, what you want. As Martha Stewart would say, “it’s a good thing.”
If per chance this treatment is unsuccessful, you can always dump a bucket of spiders on her.
Bumping old thread:
Guess who just got assigned to me for some training next week. 
FTR: She no longer goes awkwardly silent when I walk in the room. We’re still not exactly chatty with each other. But I do think I’ve managed to stop giving her the creepo vibe.
Just got an email today that I will be training her next week. I immediately thought of this thread when I did.
Um, bad news. You may have just started again.
At least try not to salivate too much in her direction.
If she gets something wrong, how will you correct her?
She has her foot in the door & she knows the easiest way up the ladder is by knives through someones back.
She doesn’t dislike YOU… she just likes your desk, your title and your stapler better.
Or, maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe its all just a subtle ploy to keep you off guard & to get you over to help her clean her new place. Because its older & has Huge restaurant grade appliances, you’ll be helping her clean.
Because she’s shorter, she can’t ever get in deep enough to scrub the back of her huge in-wall oven properly. Won’t you be a gentleman and crawl inside with a sponge and a spray bottle of cleaner…?
Send her a link to this thread to show her you ARE NOT the creeper she thought you were!
Was this training assigned to her, or did she choose you for this training?
Someone got fired. Now boss wants me to train her for the job guy got fired for.
Maybe she just got used to it. :2cents:
For those of us that somehow missed the creepy Shakes thread, please provide a link.
This is it, isn’t it?
OP had a name change.
