So TJ555 The Golfer …ya get some? 
catsix: “Ah the feminist thing. …”
Ah, the post-feminist thing…
The truth is, as far as I’m concerned, that what avabeth describes is still a factor–women judged by a double standard that makes them more likely to be criticized for aggressive behavior–while what catsix describes is also factor–male self-esteem confused with sexism.
OTOH, catsix, the stuff about men being portrayed as homemaking doofuses has nothing at all to do with the latter problem; and I think it’s very important to see the distinction between the two.
The man-as-homemaking doofus stereotype is extremely old-fashioned–part and parcel of the Father Knows Best mentality–and tends, by and large, to go hand-in-hand with anti-feminist backlash.
Although “feminism” comprehends a very diverse body of ideas, and although there are stark differences between different waves of feminism, I can’t think of a single feminist who believes that men are constitutionally incapable of cleaning a house, or taking part in childcare. Those myths tend to be generated by traditionalists who want to urge women to feel content with their 'natural" domestic duties.
Young women, in my experience, are far from sheltered in our society.
I’m not talking about hearing naughty words–my kids have heard them plenty, and no doubt have used them on occasion. I’m referring to the wholesale reference to women (or, in my post, teenage girls) as “bitches.”
It’s one thing to hear someone say “She’s acting like a bitch.” Applied that way, it refers generally to someone’s personality or actions. Not nice, maybe, but not something that I think we have to shelter kids from.
But to be casually referred to as a bitch just because of your sex, as if it is just what women should expect to be called, is a different matter. I’d object equally to the blanket use of the words sluts, whore, idiots, spermbanks, cunts, etc. Because when used like that, we aren’t talking about an individual being subjected to name-calling; we’re talking about an entire group of people being characterized as contemptible, useless, useful only for sex, whatever.
Trust me, catsix, I know the world is not a nice place, and I spent a lot of time working with young women to help them understand that. Learning to deal with adversity doesn’t always mean resigning yourself to it. Why should I be called names just because it is “out there”? I don’t have to resign myself to being treated that way just because there are people out there who are okay with it.
And trust me on this one, too: I don’t have a fragile ego. Far from it. Maybe it has more to do with issues like respect and an expectation to be treated like an individual than any feminist agenda that you may be looking for. I don’t refer to men as pricks or dickheads; I won’t consent to being called a bitch unless I’m actually being a bitch.. Which is certainly not an impossibility, heh.
djf: As I said, I don’t care WHAT people call each other in their relationships. Whatever standard you set in your own life is fine by me. I object to the blanket term “bitches” instead of “women,” which is actually just as clear and the same number of syllables.
And while I occasionally hear individual men referred to as dickheads, I DON’T hear it used as a blanket term or as a term of possesion: “Dickheads love to look at new cars,” or “My dickhead needs to get those gutters cleaned out.” Whereas I DO hear “bitch” used in very similar situations.
IMO, YMMV, ETC.
Needless to say I don’t entertain this notion.
I remember clearly the first time I was confronted with female violence. A few years ago a teacher of mine was telling a story about how a woman hit the back of his car. An argument ensued and he said “Hey lady, don’t give me any bullshit, you hit me from behind and this was clearly your fault!”. Her response was to slap him, hard. He just took it and stood there. After thinking about this for some time, I came to a conclusion, you can guess what it was: I’d certainly have slapped her back.
I wouldn’t beat up some guy because of my girlfriend either if she was the agressor and the scumbag’s (;)) response was on the same level, so to speak. Gotta stand by my principles.
Anyone assaults me, I’m taking them down and physically restraining them. If they assault my genitals, I’m taking them to pieces. Gender doesn’t matter, neither does size.
On the language front: Why is “bitch” the word we use to degrade women? A bitch will be a very loyal and caring member of the family, a little more so than a male dog. Bitches are more protective of the home and family and easier to train.
Why is “Dick” the name we call men when they treat others badly? My dick gives me pleasure. It has given several women pleasure.
I think that when a woman shows genuine concern for me she’s acting like a real bitch. I think that when a man gives a woman pleasure for a few minutes and then falls unconscious, he’s acting like a real dick.
I think you are absolutely right.
No more bitch.
It’s ho from now on.
ps what happened to the golf dude anyway? The asshole is probably gettin some because he took a shower, while the rest of us are debating hurtful words once again. SHIT!
It must be a subtle distinction - I don’t get it.
Are they supposed to call you “The Bitch”?
Yeah, that’s so much worse than categorizing an entire gender as a bunch of clueless assholes to be manipulated, teased and pushed around for money, flowers and other gifts.
All I see this as is the new thing to whine about, and I find myself particularly unimpressed with any woman who gets all up in arms about something that pointless. To me it just screams ‘grow a skin’.
So… are you going to finally grow a skin about the transgendered and stop making it all about you?
