Look. It is simple. We have a cool little mouse-over thread preview ability that usually makes this board a joy to read.
However, all of you misbegotten festering lesions seem compelled to start off with pointless rambling color-commentary that, while often linguistically entertaining, is still completely useless when it fills up the preview window before you ever get around to the fucking point.
waves scepter
My decree…topic in the first paragraph, endless linguistic masturbation to follow.
Or, since the boards have been running very well, you can just click on the thread and quit whining.
That’s better than the ones that don’t even start the color commentary until after something like this:
Here’s a quote.
{a couple of blank lines}
{invisible quote}
{a couple more blank lines}
What if I want to click on the thread and whine, eh, Airman? What then?
I don’t know how you managed to steal their wand, but you’d better put it back before the mods and admins find out.
Back when the boards were running slowly, lo those five or so days ago, I could understand this argument, sort of. Still, you have to realize that everyone who starts a thread is a troll of sorts. They WANT you to look and respond. So what possible advantage would it be for me to give the meat of the thread up right away just so it can be seen with a mouse-over? And why wouldn’t I want to exercise and improve my writing abilities?
The mouse-over gives you the opportunity to skip the thread if you don’t find it interesting. So skip the thread. Geez. You’d think that it was a tough decision or something.
But I like stories. And anecdotes. And wandering diatribes.
Love the OP. Ignore Airman; obviously someone pissed in his Cheerios this morning. In a way, it’s a good thing, because it lets me know not to open the thread when it’s someone who obviously is incapable of getting to the point.
Life is uncertain. Indulge in linguistic masturbation first.
Anecdotes? Wandering diatribes? How about wandering anecdotes? Because with them I’m like the board’s Grandpa Simpson.
Sometimes if I can’t tell what the bloody hell a thread is about, either from the title or the mouse-over, I skip it unless I’m bored. Also in this camp are threads whose titles are obviously not for real; “Naked tits in here!” will never fool me again. By now most of us know that a tit is a type of bird, and a naked bird is about as interesting to me as a naked table.
Why, in my day we weren’t allowed to ramble. Why, I remember back in 1942 we had to get right to the point, yes sir, because there was a war on and we had no time to waste, so we’d keep the conversations short and carry on with the scrap-metal drive to keep the factories working, and wouldn’t you know it but toothpaste in those days came in tubes of soft lead, not like that fancy plastic stuff you kids have today, so they’d always be telling us: “you brush your teeth nice and clean and save the tube for Uncle Sam”, they did, so when I went to my dental appointments (which were hard to get because all the good dentists were over in Europe ‘cause of the war), they always said “That’s a nice set of choppers you got there, son,” and I’d smile all the way home, well, that was back when I had my own teeth, not like these things [pops out false teeth to scare the grandkids, then puts them back in to continue]. Say, did you kids know George Washington had wooden teeth? Boy, that was another thing that was scarce when I was a kid. Our favourite pictures of George Washington were always on the good ol’ dollar bill, but times was tough and we’d say to each other “Seen George lately?” and you were supposed to say “Not since 1929”, which was the big joke of the day. Of course, if you HAD seen George, a good kid would treat his friends to a visit to the amusement park, where you could get hot dogs for a nickel and ride the tilt-a-whirl, though if you were smart you rode the tilt-a-whirl first 'cause you didn’t want to give your hot dog back, if you know what I mean. Yeah, then there was the hall of mirrors, and the favourite one was the one that made you look at, becuae none of us really had any meat on our bones to spare, what with the Depression and then the War and all, not like kids today with their big Nintender thumbs and trinkies cakes, or whatever they’re called. Now, if you had a penny left over after the day at the park, you were supposed to put it in the poorbox at Church, but I usually tricked my folks and I’d drop in a small flat rock instead so it would make that sound, though I’d kept my penny. Now the best flat rocks in those days were found down by the beach…
C’mon - don’t leave us hanging. What happened next? I’m on the edge of my seat.
We had to say “Not since nineteen diggity-nine,” since the Kaiser had stolen our word for twenty. Of course, I’d be wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time…
My personal preference is for cunning linguistics. 
Note to iampunha: Visit page 3 of the Sun, (not the Baltimore Sun, dammit) and you’ll see some naked birds worthy of review. 
As long as they’re interesting/amusing, it’s fine.
Make me laugh and I’m yours for life.
Don’t listen to her dropzone. Twenty years from now you’ll find yourself in a bar telling the bartender “She doesn’t laugh at my joke anymore.”
Well I’ll just make my first paragraph something like:
GET RICH QUICK!
That’ll certainly get people to read them.
(bolding mine)
If he’s telling me the same joke for twenty years…well it’s not going to last 20 days, I don’t think.
Let me tell ya a story about the tufted Titecaca titmouse…