Damnation, Annie! What's going on? The Camdens have gone to hell in a handbasket!

The BBQ Pit
1

We (one other Doper and I) discussed this briefly (the thread sank like a lead fish) in Cafe Society (could we get another twenty threads on Lord of the Rings, please?) — but dammit, now I feel like I really have to rant about it (no, this isn’t a parody).

What the hell has HAPPENED to this family? You were supposed to be my Little House on the Prairie. You’re turning into Married With Children. Shit.

Annie!? Hello, Annie!? Wake the fuck up and DO something! As the last functional family member (with the possible exception of Happy), it’s up to you, my dear. Can you not see what’s going on around you?

Eric is refusing to help people with problems now. Even his own fucking daughter! And HEY! We’re not talking about Mary; we’re talking about Lucy here. […pause…]

You know, Lucy? The one who can find a conspiracy against her in a pile of toothpicks? Do you have any idea what a slut your little angel with the lazy eye has been all her life? She’s been kissing boys since she was thirteen! But what the hell did you expect? You put her in the same bedroom as Mary for what, fifteen years?

And what’s up with Simon? Your toe-headed little boy is now a teenage wolfhound who walks around in a testosterone daze. He’s RUNNING A FUCKING ESCORT SERVICE for cryin’ out loud! And HE’S THE WHORE! He’s renting out himself for fifty bucks a pop.

Damnation, woman. You’ve been so worried about that little tramp, Ruthie — with her lying and conniving and deceitful pranks — for so long, that you’ve completely missed the fact that your oldest son has abandoned his faith, your oldest daughter ran off with a man four times her age, and your husband has become a backstabbing, petty whiner who lies around the house self-absorbed in pity and jealousy. And now, he’s quitting the ministry to be a ——— disk jockey? A fucking disk jockey!?

So what am I supposed to do now, tune in once a week to watch a bunch of moping, dysfunctional spoiled brats obsessed with sex and constantly fighting over piddly shit? Hell, I can pick a channel at random and find that!

What’s up for next season? Are Sam and David going to become four-year-old bank robbers? Are Kevin and Lucy going to shack up together and beat their children in front of security cameras? Is Robbie going to become a porn star?

And what about you? Are you going to give up and just split? Abandon the family and run off with the new associate pastor and insist that he fornicate with Happy while you watch and fold linens? WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE WITH MY SHOW!?

Damn. Just plain damn.

2

Is The Camdens the name of the show?

Obviously I’m not going to be much help here.

3

I think Seventh Heaven. But I’ve never seen the show, so I have no idea.

4

:eek:

This is scary. I haven’t watched that show in a few years, so I’m completely astounded. WTF happened?? When did it change from Seventh Heaven to Seventh Ring of Hell??? I really want to believe I’m being whooshed here, but…geez.

Disk jockey? He’s going to become a disk jockey? glmph. There are no words.

Oh, and Lib, it’s “tow-headed,” but I do like “toe-headed.” Such a lovely mental image. :slight_smile:

5

I thought that show was one of those goody-two-shoes feelgood shows. I accidentally watched part of it once, and the acting was so bad it made my teeth hurt.

6

I like to think that the show is actually a brilliantly conceived condemnation of right-wing christian family values. That they meant to do this all along; use the first few seasons to show the saccharine ideal family, and then show the degeneration that is the inevitable result of such an unrealistic approach to life meeting with reality.

But probably they’ve just discovered that conflict means ratings.

7

I disagree with you about Annie, she’s turned from being the perfect little mother into being this wierd little scared person who says " what’s that dear, your going to take your boyfriend upstairs and show him what oral sex is…ok" I mean really, what is it with this family and moving their daughters current and ex boyfriends into the house. No wonder Simons running an escort service, his home has turned into a bordello.
And as for Happy, I hear next week they’re going to start his downward spiral into becoming a habitual leg humper.

Buliwyf

8

Typo

Unfortunately, it’s all true.

Matt converted to Judaism. Mary ran off to Florida with a fifty-year-old pilot (she’s a flight attendant now). Simon is a whore. Lucy has her claws in a divorced cop with the personality of a bar of soap. Ruthie is sneaking in boys from the neighborhood while she’s on restriction. And now, they’ve got the twins, Sam and David, and they’re beginning to have a few lines on the show here and there. And get this: Ruthie is their primary caretaker.

Eric has been recovering from open heart surgery, and the church hired an associate pastor to help while he’s out. And Eric has been jealous and resentful of the poor guy from day one, and even dragged a Rabbi (Matt’s father-in-law) with him to the church to SPY on the AP. He made things so damn tense that the Rabbi had a heart attack.

[…sigh…]

Buliwyf

Well, Annie was pretty assertive last night. At least she made Eric go to bed. I gotta cling to Annie. She’s our last hope.

9

I missed last nights episode so I didn’t see it. but I still think that they’re losing control in a BIG way. This show used to be like watching a well adjusted 5 year old play with Fisher Price’s “The little people.” Of late though it’s been like watching that same child grown into a horny, troubled teen, playing “Ken and Barbie do the nasty.”

Buliwyf

10

I’m just glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed. And I really don’t agree with MrVisible. What made this show one of the networks highest rated was its unique sweetness. And it’s all, well, just going to hell.

11

If your looking for a new feel good family show, same night, Everwood is particularly good. Small town, warm feeling, real human problems, real emotions, I really enjoy it. Lately watching the Camdens just reminds me that sooner or later Everyones life turns to shit. Watching Everwood reminds me, “yes, but it gets better.”

Buliwyf

12

But Nurse Ratched, I want My cigarettes! […sobbing…]

13

If you’re interested in discussing 7th Heaven’s slow descent into hell, you should definitely visit the 7th Heaven forum at Television without Pity. They have been tracking the increasingly bizarre behavior of the Camden’s for the past few years. Most of the posts there echo the comments in the OP, although those posters generally consider Annie to be completely psycho and wouldn’t look to her for solutions to the family’s problems.

14

Thank you, SpoilerVirgin!

15

I’ve actually stoped watching the show - it used to be sort of a nice prelude to Sunday dinner - I’m not religious, but I still like to have a sit down meal on Sunday’s, either with family or by myself.

I always used to watch 7th Heaven with my martini, and then tuck into dinner - not anymore - every character has lost it!

I didn’t know about Eric and the radio show, however. I wonder if they’re going to have to move out of their church-provided house, and get some shanty on the wrong side of the tracks…

16

I’ve watched it a few times, and it just…ugh.

Yuck.

17

I think it’s hilarious. As **Spoiler Virgin ** suggested (darn you! Stealing my thunder!), TWoP is great. The recaps are hilarious and informational if you want to see where it all went wrong, although IMHO it’s just gotten better as the years went by, entertainment wise.

18

I saw one episode of Seventh Heaven in its early going, and found it a bit syrupy. Interesting to hear about the changes.

19

Mmmmm… Lucy!
Mmmmm… Mary!

Can you say Astroboy sammich?:wink:

[sup]Dang! I’m all sweaty now![/sup]

20

With all these events, perhaps I’ll start watching…:stuck_out_tongue: