Oh, and let me add that because of the context in which I wrote the original quote of mine, I assumed you were stating that ** Danalan** had not said “Hello!” after seeing Kitty under her skirt. Perhaps an error in reading comprehension on my part, but considering why I’d written that sentence in the first place, I hope you can understand why I took “( where this came from I have no idea, it wasn’t the OP)” the way I did.
:smack: me for not thinking of adding this before I hit submit, among other things.
You quoted that statement and asked where the hell it came from ‘cause it wasn’t in the OP’, and you (I believe) meant the phrase "looking in the region of her ‘kitty’ ", but didn’t specify it.
But, since Denise had said ‘the op in that thread said ‘hello’ to her, blah blah blah’, she believed/interpreted your question to show her where the OP used the phrase “hello” since that was the only thing she quoted from the OP (the rest was her paraphrasing), instead of what you thought she’d claimed the OP had said.
In short: the OP said “Hello”
Denise claimed (correctly) that the OP said “Hello”, adding the ‘kitty’ phrase herself, but not claiming that the OP had used it.
You thought and demanded proof that the OP used the “Kitty” phrase.
Denise still didn’t realize what you were talking about, and responded w/a quote where he said “Hello”
Weirddave, sorry for throwing your remark back at you; apparently no, I don’t even have a piece of a brain today, but hopefully you can see where I went amiss and that I wasn’t trying to make stuff up.
Nah, it’s OK, I see it. Simple misunderstanding, and it was written to be slightly confusing.
Just one clarification- You do know that Hello Kitty™ is a Japanese cartoon, don’t you? And the panties in question had the logo on them, that’s what this is about, don’t you?
I think, Guin, the point is not whether he was looking - like it or not, some grown men do this - but that:
a) he and/or his good ol’ buddy friend commented on it to the girl, regardless of whether the girl did anything to encourage it or not; and
b) that he related said event in a thread in a “gee, ain’t this funny?” sort of way, even going so far as to hit the Penthouse Forum tone-o-meter a few times?
We all do or notice things - we realize someone has a booger or we hear and/or smell someone’s fart. Some of those things are sexual in nature - we notice a guy is sportin’ wood or a woman’s nipples through her shirt. But:
It is considered crass and rude to mention these things to the person
When said person is underage, it can be interpreted as more creepy and frightening than anything else
When 1 and 2 are in effect, it makes no sense to “post and boast”, especially using a tone that fully reveals the cluelessness of the poster
I think the issue here is empathy. In particular, Danalan’s complete lack of empathy. It makes me feel sad to read the story because of the embarassment the girl must have been feeling, and how she was made to feel dirty by people who really, really should have known better. I remember when I was 16, I used to take buses everywhere, and I hated it because there would be people sitting directly across from you, and sometimes they would just stare at you. I also got random erections on the bus, and if there had been an older woman sitting across from me and staring, and if she had suddenly made a comment about it I would have been extremely embarassed. I might have stopped taking the bus just out of fear of it happening again. It is just very wrong to do that kind of thing to someone, especially in an enclosed space from which there is no easy escape. If you’re just walking along a crowded street and you see someone attractive, I think it’s fine to look, as long as you have no other motive, because nobody is trapped. But on a bus or even moreso in a truck or car it is wrong to look. Yes, wrong to even look, aside from the comments, which make it far worse.
When I was about sixteen, I got leered at by older men on a fairly regular basis. (Despite the username, I’m female.) And if it was in an open area with other people around - like if I was walking in the mall and caught someone staring, or even making a comment - I’d be pleased and flattered. After all, he wouldn’t do anything here, so there’s no reason to feel threatened, right?
But if we’re alone? In a small room? If, God forbid, I was sixteen years old and I was in a car, sandwiched between two much older men who I didn’t know and who kept making suggestive comments and laughing at my obvious discomfort - I would’ve been terrified. I would have been convinced that I was about to be raped.
Sixteen is an age when a lot of young women are just coming to terms with the idea that rape is something that they have to worry about. The problem is not that Danalan found a very young but sexually mature woman attractive. That’s normal. The problem is that he and his friend chose to make their attraction obvious to her in a context where she was trapped close between the two of them and couldn’t easily get away, and in a way that showed no respect for her feelings. It shows a lack of empathy for her that’s really, really disturbing.
While I’d never, never suggest that someone should be raped, if Danalan had ever had to deal with a realistic fear of being raped he might have a much better understanding of why you don’t do things like that.
I have also met Danalan more than once, and I am pretty sure that weirddave’s interpretation of this thread/situation is the correct one. I could be wrong, of course, but I have also met Danalan’s wife, and if he were really the kind of person some of you seem to think he is, I am QUITE certain she wouldn’t still BE his wife…and I am also sure that he wouldn’t have “escaped” without serious bodily injury.
Just my $.02
Having said that, I also agree very strongly with herownself (I don’t know how to link to her two posts).
Err, unless I missed something (entirely possible), I think you’re assuming waaayyy too much. As far as I can tell, all he said was “we needed much more beer.”
That could just mean that they looked in the fridge, saw that there was only one can/bottle left, and realized that they needed more
It doesn’t imply who has been drinking. There were, as far as I can tell, three people involved in the project. Only two of them were involved in the incident. Only one of them was driving.