I’m sorry to hear it’s not looking good for you–though I wouldn’t consider a friday-to-now silence that terrible. I mean, you didn’t email her all week either, why can’t she wait three days to contact you? She did ask you out last time, and maybe she prefers talking on the phone to email. But you are more familiar with the situation.
Bummer. Sorry it didn’t work the way you would have liked it to – and I’m not going to critique your behavior, which all seems to have both communicated your interest and respected whatever ill-defined parameters she was saying she wanted to establish.
You should probably ask for the thread to be closed if you don’t want opinions - it is in IMHO, after all, and we do like giving opinions on dating situations.
Gadarene…If that was the simplified version, I’d hate to read the detailed version. There’s a thread from a guy with insomnia, I’m going to recommend he read your thread.
I did ask for the thread to be closed, way back when, and it wasn’t. Feel free to give all the opinions you want.
stucky:
Gee, thanks.
The kiss goodbye seems at least one positive sign.
I think it was Barry Manilow who said he was a “cautious pessimist,” which proves that even a broken clock is worth two in the bush (although it may depend on whose ox has been in the ointment).
OK seriously, some people think that life is a Hollywood movie where your eyes meet across a crowded room and everything works out perfectly from there on out. Those of us who have been around the block know there’s a lot of discussion, compromise, blah blah.
Viability may lie between the two, however. No, you can’t expect it to go perfectly from the gitgo because maybe you’re being set up or she’s codependent or… And no, you can’t overcome 753 obstacles: people will never be more motivated to work at a relationship than they are at the beginning of it and if you encounter resistance early on, what will it be like 20 years from now?
If she isn’t “nuts enough” about you to proceed, I’d let it go. I think you played your hand reasonably well, but this can’t be a tightrope act. If you’ve shown her who you are during the giddy phase and she passes, imagine what the tough times would be like.
This nicely sums up the post-mortem to pretty much every Gadarene-is-interested-in-an-awesome-girl-who’s-interested-back-and-then-she-abruptly-loses-interest-for-no-apparent-reason-before-things-really-get-started story of the last few years, actually. And there are a bunch, although this one is right up there with the very worst.
Turns out it is a tightrope act, I guess.
J’ever see that part of “Tombstone” where Wyatt is at the creek going up against Curly Bill and Wyatt yells, in slow-mo, “NO-O-O-O!”?
In the long run, you can’t walk a tight rope. You have to be who you are.
Oh yeah, you did, too. Never mind.
Yeah, I was having relationships like this when I met my husband - when it fits together, it makes you wonder what all that fuss was about with the relationships that didn’t fit. The trouble with that is you have no point of reference to compare with until you HAVE a relationship that works. Then you realize that you don’t have to force a fit (actually, you can’t force a fit).
Well, I’m 33 now. So.
I really, really hate everything.
{{{{Gadarene}}}}
Damn, kiddo, I’m so, so sorry.
Sorry to hear, Gadarene.