I’m pondering dating again.
The things I’d tried before didn’t work:[ul][li]Online dating? Never got a second date. Esperanto? I haven’t met anyone compatible through Esperanto, though I know others who have.The SDMB? I never hit it off with anyone here on the SDMB, though I’ve had a fair number of Hopeless Doper Crushes, and I know that others have successfully hooked up.Other venues? I haven’t met anyone through the gym, or through the parties my trainer throws, or the other parties I go to, or through the people I know up north, or through my friends in Sutton, or through work.[/ul]Clearly the conventional methods do not work for me. Something different is required.[/li]
I’m considering experimenting with speed dating.
I read a book called “Blink”, which described how we make instant judgements in the first split second of an experience. And indeed, on my last date, I made such a judgement in the first split second of seeing my date, even as my eyes were still adjusting to the darkness of the cafe. And subsequent experience bore that judgement out: there was no spark.
My theory now is, speed dating boils all that down into a regimen of nothing but first judgements. It gets you to the ‘yes or no’ stage more quickly, and after the ‘no’, you can move on.
It’s worth a try.
When DID I have something close to success? When I was already doing something I wanted to do, that involved a lot of other people. When I was at school, for example, or helping out on the solar-powered houses.
So maybe I just need to keep doing the things I’m interested in, and be as social as I can doing it. I’ve had my head too close to the drawing board this past year, and maybe this winter I can relax a bit.