That makes sense. That’s far more convenient than going to the bedroom in between these steps. 
Okay guys, pay attention to what I am about to tell you. There is much wisdom in this post and it will work to your advantage if you let it. I am going to give you a few things to watch for to determine if a woman is interested in you and also the very best possible way to introduce yourself to a woman and get a date with her. This will not work for 100% of women, of course, but trust me when I say that this comes from my many years of experience as a chick and is very, very effective.
When I am interested in a guy the very first non-verbal signal I give is with my eyes. I look at a guy with a long sideways glance, glance down at the floor, and then give him another long sideways glance with a slight Mona Lisaesque smile. Then, if he didn’t pick up on that, while talking to him I will bite the corner of my lower lip. If that also fails I will lightly toss or flip my hair (not like the women in shampoo commercials or anything, but more of a gentle turn of the head to flip my hair over one shoulder or something.) Some women will lightly touch your elbow or make a point of smiling and laughing a lot during the conversation but I feel like touching people I don’t know is probably not a good idea and I don’t like to force laughter if I can avoid it so I don’t do those things, but if you pick up on one or more of these signals there is a good chance that the woman you are talking to wants to sex you up.
If you have picked up on one or more of the above signals or you have met a woman and you would like to make a date with her I would advise the following technique:
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Learn 3 things about her. They don’t have to be complicated things but you need to know her name, that she drinks decaf coffee, that she prefers the New York Times to the New York Post, etc. Whatever, you just need to have talked to her long enough to ascertain 3 bits of information about her. This way you know that she can hold a conversation for at least a few moments and she knows that you are expressing interest in more than her breasts. This also gives her a window of time in which to mention her boyfriend/girlfriend if she is not interested or is involved with someone else to let you know not to ask her out.
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Once you know 3 things about her and you’ve given her a little bit of information about yourself tell her that you have to go but that you have really enjoyed talking to her and you would like to get together sometime soon if she is interested. Then give her your business card. If you don’t have business cards you can get about 500 printed up for less than $15 at most office supply stores. It is an investment well worth making, I promise. It is much classier to hand a woman a business card than it is to illegibly scrawl your number on the back of a grocery receipt.
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Walk away and forget you gave her your business card. If she never calls you it isn’t a big deal. She may have taken your number to be polite or because she thought you were cute but then she ran into her prince charming on the way home from Starbucks. However, most of the time if you have gotten to this point she is going to call you.
There are other ways to ask women out, of course, but as someone who gets asked out about twice a week I will tell you that the above method was more likely to yield a date with me when I was single than some of the other ways I was asked out, which range from “Yo, mama, I’d like to hit that!” to nervous chattering ending with, “So, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to or anything but would you maybe might want to get some coffee or something sometime maybe?” If you take the steps I have outlined above it will help you seem more confident, respectful, interesting, and put together than 90% of the rest of the men in the world.
I’ve not read Neil Strauss’s “Rules of the Game”. I might flip through it someday, but I’m in a relationship now and I’d feel weird about reading it at this point.
The Game is a nonfiction story as told by Neil Strauss, who is a journalist that was hired to cover a story about the Pick up Artist community. While covering the story, he actually became very involved and ended up being one of the major figures amongst the group. The book reads like a novel more than a self help book. Now, the PUAs claim to fame is that they help you get laid, learn how to pick any girl up off their feet, yadda yadda yadda, but every person who turned towards them had their own reason for joining. A lot of them did want to get laid. But then there was one character who joined the group because he wanted to find a wife. Another wanted to shed his anxiety towards women. Some just wanted to know how to at least have quality relationship with females, whether it be romantic or casual. Throughout the story many characters face their inner demons, realize they’re only in the group because they need women in their lives to validate their own sense of self worth, and leave. Often at times characters feel disgusted with themselves. They don’t white wash themselves, so it makes for a pretty engrossing story.
One of the most overlooked things about the PUA community is that they have a genuine interest in not just learning how to get laid, but also learning how to become a more attractive person inside and out. Whether you’re out looking for sex or not, that is pretty valuable knowledge to have. It emphasized the important of having interesting things to say, being able to tell stories, jokes, relay riddles, talk about wine, develop new skills, workout, develop a sense of fashion, maybe learn a bit about wine…I mean, this is all very good stuff to excercise even if you just socialize with people in general. It’s very easy to forget how to be playful as an adult sometimes, and the PUAs really push this stuff. And they get specific too! For instance, I learned from The Game that when you ask a woman to guess a random number between 1-5 and 1-10, they will typically guess “3” and “7”. This is very cool to know when you want to pass it off as magic trick and tease a girl on a date. I used to use it all the time at a place I used to work at and it delighted people. It’s a small thing…but it’s fun. and interesting.
The PUA books typically are advertised as sleazy self help books because sex sells. But everything they teach is just as well for getting laid as it is for getting into a serious relationship, because in either case what you’re really trying to do is hold someone’s attention and draw them in closer to you. Where you go from there is all up to you. I’m like you. I’m only 22, but I knew I didn’t want a thousand one night stands before I started reading these books. I wanted a satisfying relationship with a girlfriend. I’ve now been in a relationship for almost a year now, and of everything I’ve read I really credit The Game the most for helping me go from being an anxiety ridden 21 year old with no clue about women and no one to turn to for advice into a guy with no anxiety towards women and a cute redhead girlfriend who regularly bakes me cookies:).
Forgive me if I missed someone else commenting on this, but one excellent way for straight guys to figure out when straight women are giving them signs is to have gay friends.
I don’t have any gay friends at this stage in my life, but years ago I had one friend that not only pointed out to me that certain women were giving me the eye, but he also saved my stupid ass from making serious mistakes with the women whose advances I did pick up on.
I think of it as straightdar, but don’t expect that meme to last in the meme-pool.
Read, or better yet get a copy of the video adaptation of “The Naked Ape” by Desmond Morris. He analyzed people the same way he would examine animal behaviour as a biologist. The female sings of interest were presented as clearly as the mating dance of the whooping crane.
When I saw it, it was like someone giving me a copy of the secret codebook women had been using. Of course it was after I got married. :smack: 
Indeed! I would go further and say you should ask even on the first date. Course, I had a first date a few days ago that turned out not to be a date :D, but it was cool because after a few hours and once we were good and tipsy I just asked him straight out. He’s a cool guy and we’ll be seeing each other again as friends, and while I was a bit embarrassed about being so direct at least I know now he’s not looking for a relationship, and I won’t be mooning around for weeks doing the ‘Does he like me?’ game. He doesn’t (clearly insane :D), but hey, no biggie. At least I know.
I do think a lot of people are uncomfortable with such directness though.
If you want to learn how a woman shows interest, I recommend spending some time in a high end Manhattan strip club (not Scores…that place sucks). They aren’t REALLY interested, but they know all the tricks to make you think they are.
So when you see a girl in the real world acting like that, you know she’s interested.
I caught an advertisement for this, which is on tomorrow night. Not sure how much applies to dating, but it looks interesting.
http://www.history.com/shows.do?action=detail&episodeId=366944
Gestures, facial expressions and body movement compose ninety-three percent of communication–only seven percent of understanding derives from words. Experts in non-verbal signals will deconstruct video footage of people from iconic moments in history, past and present, to reveal what was truly being said. Learn how subtle movements are used to persuade masses, establish power, and advance careers–most often without anyone knowing it.
Something that has been bouncing around the back of my brain as I’ve been reading this thread is that I sometimes feel ~suspicious~ of women who seem to be giving me signals.
I still remember clearly the first time a woman said I had broad shoulders. I was broke for two weeks.
That of course says more about me than about women in general, but there it is.
Well, hopefully it was money well spent.
I hear you. I have been in situations where I’ve had some of the trademark “indicators of interest” from girls who I’m pretty sure were just messing with my head for the laughs - not in a mean way but just kind of teasing. Not that there is anything wrong with a bit of teasing, but there is no guarantee that you are not having the piss taken out of you when a girl is giving you some the typical signals.
It was a lesson worth learning and in the end I felt like I had “purchased” something worthwhile, but something I wouldn’t have purchased without the flattery. (It was not a sexual transaction.)
I don’t think I was being teased so much as I felt a dirty sensation afterword, like the cloying remnant of a slippery salesman’s cologne.