I am clueless on this. I have little trouble approaching women but I don’t know what signs I can pick up that they are interested in me in return when I approach them. What are some signals I should look for?
It can be hard to tell friendly from “interested”, but watch for a woman who rearranges her hair, touches her cheek, etc. We unconsciously try to draw attention to what we consider our strong points by touching them when flirting - hence the famous “hair flip” and such. Touching you is not necessarily a sign - some women are just more prone to contact than others. I would also watch for lots of eye contact and general enthusiasm such as laughing at your jokes, not allowing dead space in conversations, and complimenting you. If you can keep her attention for a while, see how long it is before she excuses herself. If she wants to linger versus looks for an excuse to leave, odds are pretty good that she is interested. A big indicator that she is not is any mention of a “boyfriend”.
Not just for pick ups and stuff, but in general, if a person turns their whole body towards you, instead of just turning their head or eyes, then are at least interested in what you’re saying. Even if circumstances don’t permit turning completely towards someone, you’ll see people obviously inclining themselves in that direction.
Grabbing your crotch and licking her lips are pretty good indicaters, too.
All above are pretty good indicators. Personally I’m a lilttle more aggressive though. I’ll always try a hand on the thigh or a hand on the shoulder, ect… and see how she responds to that.
It’ll be obvious if she likes it or dislikes it.
Extended physical contact is a good sign. If she leaves a hand on your shoulder or your knee. If she holds a handshake just a little longer than she needs to.
Eye contact is another thing. If she gazes right into your eyes and holds the gaze.
Laughing at jokes that aren’t funny or feigning interest in things that aren’t interesting are good signs as well. Another thing to watch out for are any invitations for future contact.
It’s also good if she asks you a lot of questions about yourself. That’s an indication that’s she’s sizing you up.
If you’re like I was when I was younger, all signs that a girl is interested in you will dawn you days, months or even years after the fact. You will smack yourself on the head and realize what an idiot you were. It happens to all of us.
My advice is not to force anything or over analyze the conversation. When a person is a match for you the conversation doesn’t even feel awkward. My first date with my wife felt like the 50th.
Oh, you mean on your first date you went dutch to a fast food joint and then went home and argued about what to watch on television, then settled for a rerun of “Mother May I Sleep With Danger?” which put you both to sleep in short order?
Man, that’s sweet.
In other news, I’ve listed these signs of female interest I’ve found helpful:
- Lack of running-away behavior
- Lack of high-pitched screaming
- My wife is looking daggers at her
Of course, I’m a sensitive and observant fellow so you may have to go with less subtle signs.
Does she do that to you, or do you do that to her??? :dubious:
Both.
She’s a grabbin!
And I’m a lickin!
Hee hee hee haw haw!
Suspected as much… 
…but this is important to me 
Let’s play “Is it a date?”!
SCENARIO: Lando is 16, and has known this girl since freshman year, yet I never really talked to her until this year. We hit it off, and after school gets out I talk with her online several times. Some of these have been pretty in depth conversations, lasting until 3-4 AM. So, a few days ago I asked if she had seen Anchorman just because I wondered how it was, and she describe it with an overall ‘meh’. However, as soon I mention I haven’t seen it yet, she pretty enthusiastically offers to see it with me on Monday. Later we made plans to come back to my place after the movie to order a pizza.
What I want to know is this: am I going on a date tomorrow (because I have had a crush on her for about a month)? or are we just going as friends?
I think agreeing to see an average movie again seems to imply that she’s more interested in me than what’s going on onscreen, but then again, I’ve been known to misinterpret things in the past.
So, any thoughts, o wise ones? Any replies would be appreciated.
It’s a date. Don’t screw it up. Hold her hand during the movie but don’t try to kiss her until you get back to your place (unless she kisses you first). Let her come to you, don’t be too aggressive. She’s definitely interested in more than “just friends.”
Good luck. You might become a man before the summer is out.
I loved that show! I grew up with it.
Yeah. I dont know for sure, sometimes i dont konw if a woman doesn’t ask me questions about myself because she is intimidated and confused that im talking to her or if she doesnt ask because shes not interested in return. So i have that working against me.
I am pretty sure i can tell just by eyes. I remember once seeing a collection of photos of people expressing themselves with their eyes and you had to guess what emotion each eye expression meant. It was easy to figure out things like anger, suprise, sexual desire, fear, etc. But what are the odds that a total stranger will sexually desire me so much it shows up in her eyes? so i can’t use that yardstick either.
I’ve posted this link before: the Don Juan Forum It’s a site and messageboard for guys who want to be, well, Don Juans. I don’t recommend taking their attitude towards women, not if you want to feel connected to a woman instead, as apposed to conquering a threatening force. The bitterness, hostility and frustration towards women are almost tangible at the site, at times. But, mixed in with the frustration you *can * find some pointers on how to play the “dating game”.
There also tons of books on the subject at Amazon.
Heck, just learn from Hollywood:
[ul]If she puts the gun away, she’s yours.
If she answers the door in a teddy, and seventies music is playing, she’s yours.
If she’s stranded on a desert island with you, she’s yours.
If she’s part alien, she’s yours, but you should probably avoid her.[/ul]
Listen to the man, Lando, for he speaks The Truth.
Oh yeah. Been there, done that. :smack:
Speaking as a woman, I wouldn’t tell you to go by the questions she asks you, unless they are obviously suggestive, double meaning type things. When I was young, I was too shy to ask any questions, whether I was interested or not. Men aren’t the only ones afraid of rejection, you know. These days I always ask questions of anyone I am with, because the irony of the art of conversation is that people will think you are good at it if you let them do all the talking about themselves. So I ask lots of questions just to make conversation no matter who I am with.
Next to nil as far as seeing sexual desire upon just meeting - even if she is that attracted to you, she won’t be that open about it initially. You’re right that the eyes will give you the most indication, though. Look for energy and warmth rather than desire, and you should be on the right track.
[QUOTE=Maastricht]
the Don Juan Forum QUOTE]
That place was HILARIOUS!
Here are some jems:
I am a very friendly person and I need to learn how to make sure guys know that I am not interested because so many think I am!
Oy, Wesley, you have my sympathies. For the longest time I was exactly in your situation.* (Well, almost in your situation, except that I also had a hard time approaching them :o )* Being a bit of a geek, more focused on the analytical and all, my “social Radar” had never been calibrated. Thank God the future Mrs. Trupa understood that! (hers is quite zeroed-in, thankyouverymuch, and uses milimeter-wavelengths )
So, my best suggestion is get this book:
The Naked Ape, by Desmond Morris
It looks at human behaviour like biologists look at the behaviour of a new & unknown animal species. It has an excellent analysis of the several (14 ?) signals of interest women (and men) give in courtship. It would be an excellent book to give to an “alien” to help them understand humans…
Some of us are born knowing stuff like that instinctively. Some of us have to be taught. I had to be taught, and that book would have done a decent job.
Good luck.
PS. If you can find the recorded TV-shows, they would be even better at illustrating the behaviours.
A related sign is the Fussing Over Your Clothes technique. Basically it’s an excuse for extended physical contact.
Examples include: Tucking in the tag at the back of your shirt, adjusting your collar for you, straightening your tie, fixing that stray tuft of hair that keeps getting in your eye (assuming your hair is long enough).
This, in moderation is a good sign. Too much to the point of being too mothering is creepy.