Oh, I’ve got a tip for you that builds on this. When you are whining to a female friend that you’ll never find anyone, and she off-handly says " Oh, don’t say that, you’ll find someone." It usually does not indicate that she means her.
You see, her female friends will whine like this too, probably far more often than you do, and it’s a conditioned response to the whining - say something nice to the friend to make them feel better…and stop whining. She really does think that since your friend-worthy that you will find someone. eventually. But unless she turns all pink/gives you a deep, meaningful look/gropes you as she says it, don’t read anything into it. It’s amazing, but guys would wouldn’t get “subtle hints” in a million years do read into a statement like that, to the bafflement of a girl who was only trying to reassure them that they aren’t going to die alone.
Well, I wouldn’t mind the reputation of “The Poster with A Supposedly Quick & Easy (or inadvertently Hilarious ) Solution Link to Every Problem Imaginable As Long As It Is About Cats, Psychology, or the Psychology of Cats,” but then at least I’d want to be the TPWASQAELTEPIALAIIACPOTOC who uses preview.
“as opposed to seeing them as a threatening force to be conquered” damnit. :smack:
Yay me, i got a womans email address today. And i kept my dignity while i was doing it. So hopefully im picking up on signs.
Has anyone read the user illusion? I think i subscribe to this theory. I think i pick up on millions of bits of info and this info comes across as instinct. I should listen to my instincts more.
I could be out of touch, because I haven’t been a kid for quite a lot of years. But as a woman, I suspect that many men overrate the whole ‘body language indicating sexual interest’ thing. Again, this may be my age talking, but in my experience most women are not seized by sudden horniness for a guy (the sort of thing that might be revealed in body language) in the course of ordinary interaction. That doesn’t mean they’re not interested! I just think that any guy who makes passes at girls on the basis of reading body language to judge if they’re acceptable is going to miss some good times and make an ass of himself, big time. There are lots of reasons for women to display all these little “tells” that the self-described Don Juans or experts will tell you are indicative of desire. And more frequently than not, a woman will be interested in a guy without being actively desirous or aroused - so there’s nothing to show. Don’t worry - it’s not that women don’t get aroused; we just aren’t usually publicly seized with horniness without a bit more leading up to it.
There’s a very simple way of finding out if a girl has any interest in you. Invite her in a friendly way (i.e. non-commital as far as romance goes) to a movie or something comparable. Then, at the theater or whatever, move to pay without having discussed it first. If she protests vehemently, you’re either visibly less well off than she, or she’s not interested in you as a romantic figure. If she accepts without comment, she’s either assuming it’s a date or one of those awful people who will let anyone else pay for anything (and presumably you aren’t interested in someone like that in the first place). Only if she equivocates “OK, but I’ll get the snacks,” or “OK, but I pay next time,” are you unsure. And at that point, she obviously likes you a great deal either way, so for Pete’s sake ask her! She’s not going to laugh in your face - even if she’s not interested in you as a lover, she obviously considers you a friend!
If you wait until you’re dead certain of her interest to make your own evident, you’ve got a good shot at being alone all your life. What’s the worst that can happen? You get turned down? You know what? You survive, and you discover that it’s not the end of the world. Look at it this way - if she IS interested and thinks she’s indicated that, every day you don’t call, you’re turning HER down.
) Solution Link to Every Problem Imaginable As Long As It Is About Cats, Psychology, or the Psychology of Cats,” but then at least I’d want to be the TPWASQAELTEPIALAIIACPOTOC who uses preview.