So this thread, on the way to becoming infamous, has spawned several additional threads. I did not want to hijack an already long thread so here’s my very own.
In the above thread, Malthus said…
(Underlining mine for emphasis)
Okay, I am not a young man but I think the above is 90% of my frustration. I am generally speaking not a shy person, my friends would all describe me as out-going and someone who has no problems meeting new people and making friends. Internally, that takes a lot of effort on my part. It is not natural to me but a skill I’ve developed and continue to work on. I do think I am mostly successful though. My point being, 99% of the time I am not the shy guy hanging out in the back of the room. That aside, there is a HUGE exception - women whom I am interested in possibly dating.
I don’t really know how to demonstrate interest and I do end up in the “friend” bucket. I don’t think I am a Nice Guy but I do admit to feelings of frustration as a result of this. From reading some of the other comments in the other thread, maybe it is an issue of not knowing how to demonstrate interest early enough to avoid getting dropped into that friend bucket. Maybe it is that I do get nervous in this type of situation and come across as a dork. My ability to be out-going and social is definitely impacted by my comfort level in my surroundings. Either way, same result = not interested or “friend” bucket.
More importantly, I do not know how to recognize interest from others. Sometimes I think the woman has to pretty much sit on my face before I begin to wonder if she is interested. Of course my biggest fear is that I’m not missing signals, they just aren’t there. Haha! :eek:
So… is there a book or seminar or something to help out? I’m a reasonably confident guy, I have a great job and a great house. I know I am not Antonio Banderas (to borrow an example from the other thread) hot but I do think I am attractive and my past relationships have been with women who would generally be considered above average in looks so there must be something there in the looks department. More importantly, I know who I am - good and bad - and I work to improve myself. I have a lot of interests and I am able to converse on a wide variety of topics. Simply put, I think I am a great catch. I just have no idea how to bait the hook or how to recognize a hit on my line.
A very frustrated, but not Nice Guy, MeanJoe