Help me desrcribe the typical day of the world’s biggest jackass. I’ll get his (or her) day going…
Mr. J gets up fairly early despite staying up to midnight practicing his Tuba. Of course he cannot comlete his mornig routine without heavy footfalls on the floor and loud door slamming for no other purpose other than to annoy the sleeping neighbors next door and in the appartment below. He is running late for his job as a…
Insurance telemarketer.
All day long, he dials random numbers out of the phone book, asking if the Man of the house needs full-term life insurance. Of course, this is not on days when he is busy…
going door-to-door handing out Chick tracts. One day, his morning horoscope said…
big things are in store for you today. Which is the same thing his Amway registration package said. And he could hardly wait because he was going to a convention for…
like minded born again christian right-to-life activists, but since God ordained that there would be a traffic jam on the way to the airport, he…
…slung his backpack over his shoulder and stood on the edge of the tarmac, thumbing it all the way to Cleveland. He spent nights in motels that had bugs crawling along the bathtub, and mornings in greasy spoons, rediscovering his trueest love of all, the love of…
rectal thermometers…he could still lovingly remember the time…
…sad masochism. His afternoons were spent in the company of a flock of glamorous sheep which rolled about upon his person causing his skin to itch like crazy. Then one evening, on his way to an appointment with his taxidermist, a talking bear…
:mad: