What the Hell is up with Jack Batty?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ho ho ho, Merry Friggin’ Christmas.

I’ve not been too active on the board in the last several days, as life as been kicking my ass. I’m sure my problems are slight compared to others, but that doesn’t make it suck any less for me.

We’re flying out to the East Coast on Tuesday, so my activity here will suffer even more - but I’m determined to steal some time on whoever’s PC I can hijack. When I leave for the airport I’ll have my plane tickets and about 10 bucks in cash. I haven’t bought any Christmas presents yet, so I hope everybody will be happy with the 7-11 travel coffee mugs they will be receiving from me.

The last few days have found me in some deep conversations with my wife - not major problems, but those little marriage thingies that all wedded go through (I shan’t elucidate). I hate dealing with things like this, but I’m happy to resolve them {cough - great sex - cough}.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention - I found out on Friday that due to budgetary constraints, my company is letting certain contractors go. Guess who was on top of the loser list? That’s right - “You’re fired, have a happy holiday. Thanks for playing, better luck next time.”
I promised slackergirl and Punoqllads that I’d forward my resume, as they had so graciously offered to entertain the possibility of my employment with their respective companies. So far I’ve held off because I was looking for work in the city. But now that I’m down to the short hairs, you both will be seeing something from me soon (if that’s still ok).

Not to mention the fact that in the last two months I’ve put on about 10 extra pounds that I didn’t need in the first place, all the while completely ignoring my gym membership. - yeah I know, that’s my own damn fault.

Also, not one friggin’ doper has a crush on me? WTF? My boyish charm and good-natured demeanor hasn’t titillated anyone. (I’m not allowed to say who I have a crush on because I’m married).

On the plus side, my (former) company is paying me through the end of the year without my having to actually show up for work. And I’ll be seeing my family who I haven’t seen in 6 months within 48 hours.

So in conclusion, just in case there is a soul on this planet who actually appreciates any of the retarded things I have to add to this board, bear with me. I just need to find my happy place and I’ll be right as rain.

Ok, I’ve whined enough, I’ll shut up now.

2

Hey, I’m only here on the East Coast for about a week longer, Jack, but if I find your happy place, I’ll be sure to keep it safe and bring it back to San Francisco for you.

Hang in there. Seems like this is the time of year when life deals everyone its worst blows.

And ssh, don’t tell, but I was gonna put you in my crush list, but you’re married. :wink: (Ok so I put Nen, but that’s different, I know him.)

My best wishes to you. You me and oldscratch will have to get together and rage when I get out there.

[sub]Ok go check the crush thread…[/sub]

3

Bummer Jack. I hope thing turn around for you soon. I’d do that hugs-in-brackets thing, but it’s not really me. Instead I can offer you a manly slap on the back and a “Keep you spirits up, chum.”

And since you’re being left out of the whole crush thing (as am I, it should be noted), her’s a big soggy virtual kiss from me, you big stud you.

Smoooch.

4

You are still my striker on the soccer field of Love.

Attention whore.

5

Oh. My. God.

On a totally unrelated note (me? hijack? no!) magda, could you warn me next time you’re going to use your sig? Cuz I need to be sitting down, not drinking or eating or smoking, and must void bladder first. I totally missed that line by Hastur.

Heehee, I hope that line strikes you as funny, Jack.

God DAMN, you people fuckin’ slay me sometimes!

6

Thanks all, for the kind words.

Rasa, thanks for being the first to make my day, and yes I love magda’s sig, but I suppose I should give the high sign to Hastur for coming up with that little gem.

Bottle, I could sworn I felt some tongue, watch that, will ya.

Magdalene, thanks for remembering. The attention whore thing, not the soccer thing. But I am a good striker, I give great header.

I’m feeling a little better already. I just finished scrubbing down my cubicle. Now I think I’ll take a nice little two hour lunch on the company, before I come back to tidy up the PC.

7

Yeah, mad props to Hastur, next time I catch him in chat. Even though he is trying to get scratchie to play for “the other team”.

You’re scrubbing the cubicle of a place that fired you? Eesh! What are you, a former Catholic? Mess it up, I say! Scribble on the walls! Strew paperclips about! Thumbtacks too! Use gasp non-erasable marker on the whiteboards!

On a more sober note. You’re going to Maine for the holidays I assume? (IIRC, that’s where you’re from?) Everything seems a bit… slower in Maine. Might be just what you need.

8

Jack, where are you at and what do you do? Your profile doesn’t tell much and I’m not looking for a hubby, no matter how devoted.

9

Hey, I could have a crush on you because you have good taste in chicken wings! I wasn’t going to mention it earlier, with all the parties being married and all, but now that you brought it up, let’s throw caution to the wind.

Enjoy your 2 hour lunch… why not make it a 2 martini lunch while you’re at it?

10

Seriously. What the hell IS up with Jack Batty? I’m not sure if he even exists. I just hear people talk about him.
:smiley:

11

Jack…oh Jack. Where is my magic wand when I really need it? Damn.

Okay, time for the list of things to be glad about: (just for you, Jack…because I love you so much)

  1. You don’t have rabies.
  2. You can tie your shoelaces–and even if you can’t…
  3. They make velcro straps for shoes.
  4. You don’t have to rely (soley) on camels for transportation.
  5. You are a man–you can have hairy armpits/legs and it’s socially acceptable.
  6. You can pee standing or sitting.
  7. You know how to type.
  8. You weren’t raised in a cave…by a wild band of iguanas. (which, under the right circumstances is, I’m sure, a wonderful and supportive up-bringing, but for purposes of my list, is not as acceptable as, say, members of your own species. )
  9. and 10. I can’t think of right now–which is a blessing in itself, I’m sure you’ll agree.

So, it’s not so bad as you thought, huh? I don’t know where they come from…it’s a gift and I don’t question it. I just use it for good.
Take it easy, okay Jack?
:wink:

12

Hang in there Jack. Don’t let all of this wacky crap drive you Batty. ::looks at user name again:: Oops, too late. Oh well, just keep in mind all of the fun we’re going to have at the Superbowl party. Especially if the Raiders make it into the game. We’ll leave the light on for you and have a great time with the family and friends while you’re back East.

13

Jack,

That sucks about your job, drop me a line when you get back from your trip.

You should know that I didn’t even know about this thread when I wrote my response to you in the crush thread, so you shouldn’t feel like it was a pity post or any thing. :slight_smile:

14

Rasa dear, i though scratchie played for both teams?

Jack: Well, sorry to hear of your misfortunes, i hope things look up from here on out. At least you’re getting pay for the rest of the year and you dont have to work :).

15

I used to think oldscratch was gay. I think it was because the very first time I met him, he was hanging around with you for much of the night. Your aura bled over into him.

16

Jack, who else on this board has such kickass taste in PSX games? Nobody. Life will turn around and allow you to kick its ass sooner or later. Just remember to wear cleats.

(Am I high?)

17

ROFL! Doob’s catchy! Yeah I heard all about that one. Rubbing his leg and stuff. S’before my time and stuff. I’m not jealous. Much. :wink:

18

or I’m so subtle no one gets it.

Jack I flirted with you in this thread and you didn’t even notice. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=48305

I guess I’ll go eat worms.

19

And Jack,
Hasturs line IS good, but your sig ALWAYS makes me laugh!

And although I don’t mind “attention whore” in a possible crush, “devoted husband” does put a damper…

20

Jack, I haven’t been around enough to develop a really good crush on anyone, but we can start working on one after you get back. As for your being married, well, so am I, and there’s nothing wrong with sex between two married people, right? :wink: