:eek:
Once you had dead monkey…
Necrophiliac bestiality,
How wierd can you get?
;j
3 of my brother’s friends have asked me to have sex with them in about 4 days. They all asked more then once. They were dead serious. They are all hot. I said no. :eek:
In about 4 days, huh?
Looking forward to Friday?
Did they each ask not knowing the others had, or do they want a… WHOA! :eek:
Never mind…
Like you wouldn’t believe.
Your name intrigued me, FB, so I looked up some of your posts. You got a lot on the ball. Surprised me when I read the post about you being 14.
If you’re serious about the possiblity thrown at you by those boys, you might want to ask some Dopers about it in IMHO, or start a new thread here even, in MPSIMS.
While I won’t presume to tell you what to do, since I am obviously a total perv, some other Dopers might have some good advice for you.
::sigh:: Just when I was about to try and join the perversion… :smack:
Hey, i gots THREE dead monkeys!
I’m a fleabit peanut monkey
All my friends are junkies
That’s not really true
I’m a cold Italian pizza
I could use a lemon squeezer
Would you do?
But I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around
By every she-rat in this town
Have you, babe?
Well, I am just a monkey man
I’m glad you are a monkey woman too…
Man, so far we’ve got jail and dead monkeys on our list of perversions…
How about a hot chick with handcuffs? 
[Two wild and crazy guys!]
Hey man. That’s YOUR funeral!
[/Twacg!]
I can make love… up to… ONE time a night!
You are SO full of it…
Is that a dead monkey in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
Oooh…, a dead monkey! How sweet.
Bond… James Bond… ate monkey brains in Octopussy. 
huh huh… he said pussy…
I liked it in The Two Doctors when Doctor #6 goes into a Spanish village saying, “Here, pussy, pussy, pusssy…”
A few summers ago, there was this real sweet looking blonde girl in daisy dukes, tank top, and these really cute little sandels (Candies, I think) standing in front of the grocery store. She caught my eye, smiled, and said, “Wanna see my pussy?”
I walked into the glass next to the door. Turns out she had a box in the shade behind her with about 6 little kittens in it. She did the pussy line on a dare from her feind, I mean friend, standing nearby who saw me eyeing the girl already.
Damn, I loved it. Her pussy was amazing. YES, I’M TALKING ABOUT THE CAT!
That cat was the best f**k I’ve ever had.
(Thank you, Steve Martin, for that 30 yr old joke, ressurected on CD not too long ago. The last part of that story, that is. The part about the girl at the grocery store was true.)
BTW, I really liked that.
I mean REALLY liked it, heh heh
Okay, I’ll stop for now…
Just because they were hot doesn’t mean I said yes. Seriously, I’m not planning on “doing it” with them. I don’t seem like my age, do I? I hope not. Most people my age are complete assholes, and I don’t want to be a complete asshole.
I would strongly advise against having sex with any person, flamingbananas. A 14 year old usually isn’t capable of handling the responsibilities of a sexual relationship.
Just use a vibrator
Do they even let 14 year olds into “sex shops”? Oh wait. I could use the internet! Never mind going out and putting on CLOTHING, when I could just order something off a site! Yay for the internet!