I am so sorry for your loss. 
I’m so sorry, DC. Your loss is very real, and I’m impressed that you were able to think positively about your relationship with your sister-in-law at all. It would have been totally understandable if you just couldn’t even bring yourself to communicate with her right now, let alone worry about her feelings about her own pregnancy.
Take a lead from your daughter and treat yourself well, okay?
I am so sorry for your loss - yet grateful it was caught before your tube was damaged. A friend of mine didn’t even know she was pregnant until her tube ruptured; she was a very sick lady for a while.
I was rather pissed off at the hospital - after the surgery, they put her on the labor & delivery floor. Rather heartless, don’t you think? “You just lost your baby and cut your chances of ever having another one in half, so we’ll put you in a room where you can see all the pretty pink and blue balloons go by!”
Take care of yourself…
I was having a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night. My belly just felt off and more than a little tender.
By about 2:30 it was getting pretty bad so I went online to check out my symptoms. By 2:45 I was curled up on my couch crying in agony. Fearing a rupture we packed up my daughter, dropped her off at my in-law’s house, and headed back to the ER.
This time they took me back immediately, triaged me in just a couple minutes, got an IV started, and I had another ultrasound. Despite my symptoms, the doctor was unable to see any sort of a rupture.
Apparently as an embryo is absorbed into the body lots of immune-system cells can rush into the site causing the fallopian tube to swell. Although the response is totally normal it is extremely painful.
I had taken 2 percocets before leaving my house and they gave me morphine at the hospital. As a result I was extremely loopy but still in a bit of pain. But at least the worst of the pain was gone.
As before everyone at the hospital was really nice. They said that a real rupture hurts much worse than what I had just experienced and that the percocet wouldn’t have even touched the pain. They advised me that if this were to happen again and the pain were at the same level to try taking the two percocets and see if that helps.
Rationally I guess that makes sense but that much pain is NOT a good thing and not something that anyone should just attempt to mask. I called and talked to a nurse at my Ob/Gyn’s office today and she was alarmed by their suggestion to just try to tough it out next time. She told me to never try to mask that much pain and to just go right in.
Hopefully there won’t be a next time and all this will be over with soon. My Hcg level went down from in the 500s on Monday to 400s Tuesday night to 200s early this morning. The downward trend is a really good sign that the pregnancy is finally ending. It won’t all be over until my level officially reaches 0 but hopefully that will happen soon. I have two more level checks on Saturday and again on Tuesday.
I’m going out to a baseball game tonight with my family. Hopefully this will be just the distraction I need.
I’m glad you got yourself to the hospital. Decreasing numbers are really good, but there is still a risk. Not seeing anything in a tube is not proof positive that it isn’t going to rupture - if you recall, they didn’t see the embryo in my tube until the day it ruptured, and by then my beta was up to 2900.
I agree with them about the pain - I was on morphine and percocet as well, and the tube ruptured about an hour before surgery. It hurt to take a deep breath, and the pain spread quickly from just my left side to my right side and up to my diaphram. It was quite painful even with the drugs, but I’m sure glad I had them.
If you have pain like this again, you do need to go to the ER. Don’t tough it out. What shitty advice, ffs. :rolleyes:
I hope you start feeling like yourself soon. 
Have fun at the game tonight!
I went in to my gynecologist for a follow-up today. My Hcg level is down to 132 as of Saturday which is really good. I’ll keep testing until my level reaches 0 on two consecutive tests.
I’m going to do a dye study sometime in the fall to make sure my tubes are open. If not then I’m obviously much more likely to have another ectopic.
I will also start on birth control pills in a couple weeks once my quants are lower. As my doctor said I can in no uncertain terms get pregnant for at least 2-3 more months due to the methotrexate, the risk of another ectopic, and my body just needs to heal.
I’m finally starting to feel a bit more normal today which is wonderful. Doc said it may be another month or more before I really feel like myself again. Lots of healing needs to take place both physically and emotionally as well.
Thank you again to all who have posted to this thread with advice and kind words. It really means more than you can ever know.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Please, take care of yourself. It’s amazing, too, how sympathetic kids can be when you’re not well. My son was 4.5 when I had surgery for my ectopic pregnancy in January. He was so scared for me and so sweet afterward. He tucked me into bed every night and was so careful when he climbed up to hug me.
PM me if you need to chat. I had almost the same experience as you, though I was about 6 weeks along and didn’t get the shot. I had been bleeding, but not badly and having cramps. Then I went in for an ultrasound and there was nothing in my uterus - just a cyst blocking my right ovary. I was admitted for surgery almost immediately.
And it sounds like your sister-in-law knew exactly what you meant and wishes you only the best.
Oh, and while you’re at the game, make sure you walk around a bit if you can. I went straight to my son’s first basketball game the morning after my surgery. It was really, really important to him and he was so excited to be in a team sport. Since I’d just inexplicably disappeared the night before (one of his biggest fears at the time), I really wanted to go and cheer him on. Anyway, I was glad I’d taken some percocet beforehand, because I was holding onto my seat to stay upright. Getting on my feet and pacing a little helped.
DoperChic, I’m so, so very sorry for your loss.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and having to go through all of this. Hang in there and let your hubby and kiddo take care of you and give you all the love you need right now. Kids are intuitive about these things, and while she won’t necessarily know the nature of your sickness, your daughter will probably be right there for you and those little kid cuddles might be just what you need right now. ;-(
I’m so sorry for you, DoperChick. It sounds like you are on the mend. I had a similar experience in that I just knew something was wrong in my pregnancy. The doc’s nurse kept telling me that was completely normal for a first pregnancy (guffaw!) and they’d see me at my appointment. By the time of my appointment, I should have been about 7 weeks along but there was nothing there, no heartbeat, no baby. Just a D&C scheduled for December 23rd. Merry Christmas.
But after the D&C, the pathology report showed no fetal cells, so the doc said it “must be ectopic.” Since my numbers were continuing to drop, he wasn’t too concerned about it. The night after that phone call, my tube ruptured as I was walking through the supermarket. I remember a blinding light and going towards it, and I literally don’t remember getting myself home or really even much until the recovery room. I was in so much pain, it took nearly an entire syringe of Demerol to get it under control. I’m glad your tube didn’t rupture.
And that’s how we kicked off a three-year journey through infertility. But it turns out, I have endometriosis (the cause of the blocked tube) and PCOS so I hardly ever ovulate. The ruptured tube wasn’t the cause of the fertility, merely a casualty of it.
One cool thing that I have learned: Only having one tube does not significantly impair your fertility. Your body knows what it’s doing and it WANTS to get pregnant, and I’ll be danged if that good tube doesn’t reach right over to the opposite ovary and snatch up that egg and get it going. It’s amazing!
The happy ending to this story is that, once we decided we were done with treatments and were going to adopt, we got that ball rolling. We were preparing for our home visit when I got so knocked up, I nearly fell over when I saw the test results! From that minute on, I was textbook. I mean, “Your Pregnancy Week by Week” was written about ME!
Our son is 9 now and I would do every single day of it again for him. We’ve talked about the baby that would have been his older brother or sister, and I can tell he thinks about him/her. Even though he didn’t go through it with me, he still conforts me when we talk about it. Kids really are just amazing and sympathetic and understanding.
If you need to talk, just let me know. Been there. hug
Helena
PS I wonder if your hubs jumping on you about your SIL wasn’t just a little pain of his own coming to the surface. Maybe he was taking it harder than even he realized. You never know with men. I have a friend whose gf had an abortion without consulting him and he was devastated. He’d been so excited about being a dad. Another partner later had a miscarriage and that tore him up too. He’s never had kids.
OK, done rambling now…
{{{{HUGS}}}}} DoperChic. Damn. I’m glad you’re on the mend, at least, and hope you hear nothing but good news from here on out.
I’m so glad to hear your numbers are going down.
I’ve had the dye test done. Well, I’ve had two different kinds - a hysterosonogram, which is done with x-ray, and a sonohysterogram, which is done with ultrasound. If you have any questions about these, let me know.
I’m not sure which one I’m getting. The doc kept the paper with all the info on it. I think she mentioned the letters hsg which makes me think it’s the first one. Plus I’m going to meet the doctor in the radiology department.
The way she described it the whole thing sounds terribly painful. They have to insert a catheter containing the dye into the cervix. When I had my IUD inserted about 4 years back after having my daughter it was excruciatingly painful and I very nearly passed out.
The doc said I can get some Valium to take beforehand to help relax but it won’t do diddly for the pain. She suggested ibuprofen for that. :rolleyes:
How badly did your tests hurt? How long did it take? Was there much if any real recovery time? I’m not having this done for another month or two but I’m terrified of it (if you couldn’t already tell) so any and all info about your experience would be greatly appreciated.
I will be honest, I have a very high pain tolerance and I nearly passed out. I remember gripping the sides of the table like we were flying down a hill. Plus, there’s cramping and discharge for several hours after. If you have anything else you can take for pain, load up, baby, because you’ll need it.
On the plus side, a lot of women get pregnant within a few months of an hsg as their tubes are kind of all flushed out. 
Helena
Holy crap! I might just have to beg for some sort of twilight sedation then. I do NOT handle pain like that well. I can handle pain in general just fine but not when it’s combined with something poking around inside of me causing it. It seems to be my body’s natural response telling me to make them knock it the fuck off please.
The external cause that I could theoretically stop triggers my vaso vagal response. When I had my IUD put in I shook uncontrollably, very nearly passed out (may actually be a good thing in this case), got terribly cold, etc. I’m shaking now just thinking about this damn thing.
I’m definitely going to load up on as much Valium as they will give me.
How long did it all last once you were all set up?
I did a little searching just now since I had some real terminology to go by. It looks like I may be having a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) as described here.
It sounds horribly painful but potentially very helpful as you mentioned. I’m pretty sure it’s what my sister had done about 10 years ago when she couldn’t conceive due to blocked tubes. It cleaned her right out and she got pregnant soon after. I’ll have to give her a call tomorrow at a more reasonable hour.
Thanks for the info - scary as it may be.
So… I uh went and did a little more research. Most of the hits were the typical webmd type clinical stuff. But I wanted more first-hand accounts.
Bad move.
Found this.
I’m definitely going to ask for some sort of sedation and something way beyond ibuprofen.
I’m gonna go crawl up in the fetal position for a while.
:eek:
DC, I admittedly have a pretty high pain tolerance, but the HSG was not the worst thing I’ve ever done, by a good margin. It was painful, but it was more at the “wow, these may be the worst cramps I’ve had in the last six months” level than at the “tell me the location of your secret headquarters” level. I have heard that it is worse if your tubes are blocked, since the dye kind of backs up more in that case.
Good luck, in any case!
And one of mine was blocked with scar tissue from the rupture. So there ya go.
DC, it did trigger a vaso vagal response in me. I sweated through the hospital gown and nearly passed out. Good thing it was like a meat locker in the room. DO make sure someone goes with you. This isn’t something you want to do solo.
OH, and I’d suggest scheduling it at the end of your post-ectopic time-out. You don’t want any benefits to be all used up during your waiting period. What good is it that it might help by clearing out your tubes if you’re not allowed to get pregnant? :smack:
With my HSG, they had to sedate me. They originally attempted it while I was awake (and told me to take 800 mg of Naproxen only) and they couldn’t even get the catheter in. Both the tech and the doctor tried. I was so disappointed they couldn’t do it, but the pain of just trying to get through my cervix was enough to make me at least thankful it was postponed. About six weeks later I was scheduled for a laparoscopy, so they did the HSG at the same time while I was out.
I had my SHG a couple of months ago (actually, the same cycle I got pregnant and had my ectopic). I took the Naproxen as recommended and that’s it. I won’t go in to details, but I did post my experience on my blog. If you want to read it let me know and I’ll post the link. It was not very fun, but it was over relatively quickly, and in the end, worth it. They found some scar tissue in my uterus and I go in for a hysteroscopy mid-September to figure out what it is.
I would ask for valium or twilight sedation, if they’ll do it, and that’s what you want. In some women, it doesn’t hurt at all, in some, it’s horrible. And you won’t know until you get it done which woman you’ll be. If I needed to do it again, even though it was painful, I wouldn’t get sedated, but everyone’s pain threshold is different, so do what you feel comfortable with.
Oh, I should also say, after going through those and also three IUI’s, the experience of the tech or nurse makes a HUGE difference.