My current response is, and always has been, to try and ignore it. I’ve simply reached the point that I am no longer prepared to do that, which brings me here.
But yes, on that occasion, I had good lead in, but didn’t say it. We were all together for another friend’s wedding, I guess I didn’t want to spoil the mood.
Well, that’s fair enough. At an occassion like that, you definitely want to be keeping things light and polite. 
Even if you don’t feel comfortable saying anything, you can do a bit more than ignore it. For example, you can look at him when he says something sarcastic, pause, and then continue with what you are saying. That sends the message that you have heard what he’s said, found it to be unworthy of comment, and are continuing with your original point.
I don’t think I’d go there.
When Tim’s girlfriend noted (in front of everyone) that you get picked on a lot, that doesn’t sound very healthy to me, either. Even if she wasn’t trying to emasculate you further, she did a pretty good job of it anyway.
Telling him to fuck off. There’s no contradiction. Friends and SO’s are two different things.
Agree completely.
THROW A DRINK IN HIS FACE! IN HIS FACE!
Seriously, I think a woman can get away with it, and you’ll win. He might break out the “bitch, I was only joking”. But he’s still soaked and has to leave or go change; the moment is yours.
As I said, I do feel I probably cop it “the most” from Tim, which as explained, I read as Tim possibly regarding me a direct threat to him. I am blessed to have more than two or three long-term friends, so it’s relevant to point out that I just don’t have these issues with anyone else.
Oh ok, well, I defend everyone close to me when they get attacked in such a blatantly disrespectful manner. SO, closest friends, or otherwise.
But I’m not a woman :eek:
Have your girlfriend do it - she can get revenge and get away with it. 
Username/post combo win.
I considered the gender neutral “Kelly”, but I swear I thought you were a woman (and that turkeys could fly).
Honestly, the gender difference changes my view (drink throwing) on this situation. I don’t often see guys behaving this way towards other guys outside of high school. Seems like this guy would be just begging for a sock in the nose acting this way towards adults. (Not saying you should…)
I have a friend like this. We ended up not talking to each other for a year but we are now on speaking terms again. He still does it, but I have the foresight now to choose not to spend too much time with him. Worst of all is that he’s a know-it-all and goes on long diatribes about some foreign topic of which he knows little of but pretends otherwise. To call him out on his bullshit drags one into an hour long debate over the semantic trivialities about nothing. Its really really draining to be near him so we limit our engagements to movies and food so we don’t have to talk too much.
Well, your friend, John, apparently does not have the same policy.
Tim’s attacks are not “blatant”, he disguises them as jokes. Read the thread.
If you can, cultivate the ability to say “don’t be such an asshole” in a calm tone of voice. If the response is, “Whatsa matter - can’t you take a joke?” the reponse is “you are being an asshole - cut it out”. You do not explain, you do not define, you make no response to anything he says except to repeat yourself. “You are sounding like an asshole. Stop it.” Not like you are complaining, like you are giving an order. He is a waitress who brought you the wrong entree. He is a salesgirl who won’t get off her cell phone and ring up your purchase. Treat him as such.
If necessary, wave at everyone else in the room and say “they all agree with me - you are being an asshole. Cut it out.”
But calmly. And don’t let him change the subject.
Regards,
Shodan
On the up side, maybe he’ll pull that “I’m only joking” stuff on the wrong person and it’ll bite him on the ass - happened to my ex-BF from college. He’s serving time (well, he may be out now; I haven’t been paying attention) because he was “just joking” and their “sense of humor was messed up” and “they just didn’t understand when he’s being funny” when he threatened (in the same week about a year ago) to
Bring a gun and “do a Columbine” on the school where his ex-wife teaches after an argument over who’d be picking up the kids.
Saying, “Maybe I should just bring a gun and shoot you” to a county official who was trying to resolve a property dispute that wasn’t going his way.
He did the same kind of stuff to me - not threatening violence, but just general insulting and then trying to backpedal by claiming he was only joking. I was just too young and stupid to know how to handle it.
Why should it be John’s job to speak up for the OP? Wouldn’t that actually make it worse for the OP because it would make it appear that he can’t/won’t stand up for himself and that John has to fight his battles for him. Maybe Tim’s behavior doesn’t bother John all that much and if he interferes for the OP all the time, then he’s assuming the OP is, Um, I dunno, oversensitive or something.
I don’t think John has any obligation at all to run interference between the OP and Tim.
Second this COMPLETELY. The best possible method. They’re playing a game in which the jabs rest fully on vagueness – and when you demand clarity, it will backfire on them every time. Do it a few times, and they’ll stop. Plus, each time you do it, you end up looking uber-clever and funny.
Why would I look clever and funny to ask someone in a confusing tone to clarify what they are saying? I’m not sure I understand this method properly 