My family has a rather annoying behavior- I call it the favor game. Basically, the favor game involves forcing favors upon others, to use as blackmail in a sense to get the person to do what they want. My mom has been playing the favor game ever since I can remember. Now, I am all for “one good turn deserves another” and if someone does something helpful for me, I will do whatever I can to make it up to them. However, there are certain limitations behind this-
1.) I never call a favor I cannot fairly repay.
2.) I never ask people who would relentlessly hold it against me in the future.
However, my mom ‘forces’ favors on me. How? Well, for instance, I had to get the lock on my trunk unjammed. Had I not acted quickly, my mom would have actually called a locksmith herself to fix the problem, then harp on me about how irresponsible I was for not dealing with it myself (even though it is MY car) and mention how much I owe her for ‘saving me the troube’. Rather than deal with that bullshit, I managed to call the locksmith myself and get it dealt with. I was out of town that weekend, and while I was gone, she had her boyfriend buy a replacement lock for the trunk. When I got back, he explained he got it, and that I owe him $60. I told him I didn’t have it, and he got in a huff! :mad: I tried to explain to my mom if she just LET ME DEAL WITH IT MYSELF there would be significantly less bitching involved.
I am the constant recipient of unwanted favors. It might sound wierd, but I hate it. I hardly ever get a chance to deal with problems my self, because my mom or her boyfriend always jump ahead of me and do it for me. There is this annoying ‘loop’ that goes on-
a.) I need to deal with something
b.) My mom decides I’m not competent enough to deal wtih it myself and does it for me as a ‘favor’
c.) I’m forced to go out of my way to do something for her to return the ‘favor’
d.) I try to take it to myself to deal with the problem ALONE, but am so inexperienced I often fudge up.
e.) See ‘b’
It is the main reason I want to move out. I would be history, if not for the fact that I’m just starting school and currently have some credit card debt to pay off. My mom doesn’t mind having me here, yet at the same time she drives me bonkers with this ‘favor’ crap. I tried to explain to her, unless I ACCEPT a favor from her or her boyfriend, it doesn’t count in the ‘favor’ game. I consider it an act of charity. And of course my mom is COMPLETELY UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS.
I want to deal with shit myself! Even if it means making some dumb mistakes. The fact is I feel dumber/more imcompetent when someone is always jumping ahead and doing it for me. Its as if my mom wants me to feel so inept I wouldn’t feel capable of moving out :mad: