Dealing with tough situations... from the other side

In My Humble Opinion
21

These are valid points, but they don’t really apply to my situation. I’m hesitant to bring this up, as I’m afraid it will open a can of worms, but…

Mutual Friend is my best friend’s mother. She’s known me since I was eight or nine years old. She was like a second mom to me when I was growing up. She knows me.

MF is a social worker, and My Interest’s and MF’s relationship began as professional-client. After that relationship ended, they stayed in touch and became good friends. She knows My Interest.

(Disclaimer: MF did not attempt to set us up until after the professional-client relationship had ended. She also does not pass along things My Interest told her in confidence. The most she tells me is general stuff - such as the fact that My Interest has only known assholes. That information comes from MF, not My Interest. Likewise, My Interest’s information that I am a “nice guy” comes from MF, not from me.)

In all the time I’ve known MF, I don’t ever recall her “playing matchmaker.” She tossed the idea around in her head for years - literally - before introducing us. It isn’t a decision she made lightly, but she made it because after knowing each of us so well, she truly thought we would be compatible. And I thought she was right - at first…

So this is one of the reasons I’ve reacted more strongly than if I’d met My Interest on a dating site or something, and why I don’t want to be too quick to dismiss her.

22

Well, has MF talked to the Interest since the disappearing act? Just to, you know, make sure she wasn’t hit by a bus and laying comatose in a hospital? Because if I suddenly stopped talking to someone, I’d want someone else to double check I’m still alive somewhere.

23

Well, you’d know better than us if she is indeed worth it. It looks like a relationship with her will be A LOT of work, though - are you prepared for that? You’re not going into this hoping to fix her, are you? That is almost universally a terrible idea.