My family was invited to a formal affair with a children’s table. That’s fine for the 9 yr old, but what do we do about the 15.5 yr old? If an adult, we need to pick an entree. Would you assume she’s an adult? At what age does the children’s table stop??? What would Ms. Manners do?
Hmmmm. I’d go with children’s table I think.
My son is about to turn 16 and he’d understand, although he is mature beyond his years.
Tough call. I know Alice Cooper said “I’m a boy and I’m a man” about being 18, but kids today grow up quicker I think. They are way more informed than I was at that age.
Ask the people who are inviting you what their rules are. It doesn’t matter what we think for their specific party.
Definitely ask.
It really depends on the kid. My son would have preferred to sit with, and would have fit in well with the adults from about the age of 14 on. He would, however, understand and sit with the little children if someone insisted.
Some teens are not really mature enough to sit with adults. You know your kid.
Depending on the logistics it may be they have table space for, say, 20 at the grown-ups table, and any overflow goes to the kid’s table.
So whether your teen gets relegated depends on how many other teens of what ages are invited & RSVP with a “yes”.
Bottom line: ask the host(ess). Anything else is 100% guesswork. With predictably poor success.
Does your 15.5 year old eat his food with his fingers? If not, he’s an adult.
BUT ask him where he’d like to sit - a very mature teen would be offended sitting with children, but perhaps he’s a hit with kids and can be the leader at their table.
I preferred to sit at the kids table well into adulthood, simply because I enjoyed their company more. Especially as a teenager, the adult conversations about mortgages and who was marrying whom didn’t much interest me.
Years ago I saw someone on TV - I can’t remember who - talk about being in college and still having to sit at the kid’s table. He said he figured out that the only way you could move to the adult table was if somebody at the adult table died.
I was the opposite. Even as a young girl (under 10), I hated sitting at the kid’s table. I always preferred to sit with the adults. When I sat at the kid’s table I felt like I was being punished.
Dear Jinx,
Why are you asking Dear Abby what Ms. Manners would do?
Not positive, but I think Jerry Seinfeld may have done a bit about The Kid’s Table.
In my family it was logistics. We didn’t really have a “kid’s table” but overflow seating tended to be delegated to the younger guests.
But as a general rule if you like wine with your dinner you sit at the big table.
Yeah, due to table sizes/locations my nephews and their spouses/dates sit at the kids’ table. Their ages range from 25 - 33 and one has kids of his own.
That bitch knows. If she says she don’t, she’s playin you.
Ah, if I was 15.5 and had to sit at the childrens’ table, I’d have a better shot at sitting next to a 15 year old female, right? Or maybe even a 14.5 female?
Can your teenager participate in adult conversations? When I was 15 or 16 I was definitely sitting at the adults’ table. I remember going to lunch with my mom and a bunch of her fellow nurses. But I was an only child, and was used to being around adults all the time, and knew not to act up or talk out of turn. I’m not saying your kid is inferior or anything if they can’t do this, just that they are not mature enough yet.
if they can be nice and behave and not engage in pointless lengthy non sequitors like many teens I know, put them at the adult table.
In my experience, the “children’s table” doesn’t stop at the same age from year to year or event to event. It’s either an overflow table or an atempt to keep cousins/siblings together rather than having them sit with their parents and therefore the age range changes depending on the year and event. For example, my parents’ 8 grandchildren range in age from 15 to 28 - that’s the kids’ table these days. Ten years ago , it was from 5 to 18 and ten years before that it was 4-8 ( the last four hadn’t been born yet).
If you’re talking about an event at a venue, typically the hosts determine the seating and the venue determines who gets the kid’s meal/price and they don’t necessarily coincide. That is , you don’t need to have a separate table consisting of all the people eligible for kids pricing and only those people. I’m planning a party for this summer, and none of the venues offered the kid’s menu/price to those over 12 - so even if your son is seated at the kids’ table, he may still need to choose an entree.
Unless the invitation is saying that you get to choose, I wouldn’t ask your son where he wants to sit. It’s not his choice, and he will sit where he is told.
You will have to ask the host or hostess if you want to know in advance.
I don’t know what Miss Manners would do, but I would regard a mid-teen as much more likely to want to be at the grownups’ table than one with the elementary-school-age kids. So absent a strong reason to believe she’d really rather be with the kids, I’d seat her with the adults.
If there’s enough teens at an event that they can have their own table and not have to hang out with either the adults or the rugrats, that’s even better, but obviously that’s not always feasible.
I’d say pick an entree for the older kid just in case but be prepared for her to get there and maybe have been seated at the kids table.