Well I dunno, I would be pretty interested in the 1950s Dutch Monopoly set. I haven’t played Monopoly in something in the area of 20 years, and don’t speak a single word of Dutch, so it should be clear why I would need or want something like this.
But that’s the only thing that keeps us from thoroughly embarrassing ourselves, by thinking we have a shot with you. And saying stupid stuff because we’re smitten by your beauty and wit.
And all I want is for strangers on the street to open their wallets and hand me money.
Really, really wanting something doesn’t actually obligate anyone to do that. And it sucks that you have social problems, but guess what? That’s a big fat Not My Problem. I have enough problems in my life without somehow being responsible for the emotional fragility of every guy who thinks I’m cute. If you don’t have enough friends and family to provide emotional support, there are plenty of very competent therapists. Unless that hot coworker is a licensed social worker and you are paying her $100 an hour, she’s not responsible for managing your shyness. (note this isn’t directed at you, personally, but at the general concept of “Buuuuuuut I’mmmmm shyyyyyyyy, girls should be niiiiiiice to meeeeee” whining.) Either figure out something that works, or learn to live with what you’ve got. Because it’s a tough world out there and nobody outside of your social set is going to go out of their way to make you more comfortable.
Women, in general, see a lot of guys during the day. I see guys on the subway. I see guys I work with. I see clerks at the store. I see men at restaurants. I see guys in my classes. Some subset of these guys are going to be attracted to any given woman.
If we walked around taking pains to make sure that each of those guys is in a comfortable, low-risk, happy position to hit on us, we wouldn’t actually be able to get anything done in our lives. We’d be walking around saying “I’d like a fill up on six. Also, please note that I’ve been seeing a guy pretty seriously, but we are a bit shaky these days so I might consider some outside action. At this point, I’m really looking for someone tall and not to smart. But no redheads. You personally are about a six in my eyes, so if you are hoping to hit on me, you might want to wait until I’m a little drunk. So not impossible, but a bit of a longshot. Do you have my change?”
Isn’t the dynamic between men and women ultimately all about thier capacity to love each other and any children they may subsequently bring into the world? What the fuckall has that got to do with shyness or hotness or validating ones own sense of independence or alpha-factor?
But it’s true that people won’t open their wallets in the streets for me. I am obliged by this sad fact to offer them an inducement to do so. For the males among them, I resolve to compile and distill the sum of all Pick Up Artistry into one simple, 75-page/$500 booklet.
Now if only I could find a good opening quote from an actual women to persuade them that it’s well worth that amount. Something I can preface with “guys: this is what women REALLY think of you. This is why you need REAL game!”
Any idea where I could find an effective, quotable passage like that?
