Wow, oh wow. Just slogged through all 10+ pages of this thread. Who would have thunk a little mini-rant would have led to all that.
Nothing to add except thanks for an entertaining and informative thread to get me through a dreary, rainy Saturday at work.
Damn You all, I’m back again, and I hope it’s the last time. I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable telling this stuff to total strangers, but here is some more.
When I saw her first time it might full well be one-sided, I just knew that I wanted to spend time with her. It wasn’t like ‘I want to sleep with her’, but rather 'I want to have this everyday life with her - going out, watching T.V., Me teaching her to play guitar, she teaching Me whatever she knew and all this stuff… I did NOT thought about the vacancy of her body parts.
BUT should she had a ring, I would’ve never ever done anything! I didn’t wanted to disturb her life. I wouldn’t been angry at her for not waiting for Me. So yes, she had a vote, used before the ‘elections’, but still perfectly valid veto. She still has a vote. And so do I - even if at the start I didn’t have one, nobody asked Me if I wanted to fall for her.
However to be totally honest, if I would’ve heard she was unhappily married, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I know I wouldn’t wanted to be the guy who broke her marriage, no matter how shaky it was.
I guess after the fact I would’ve tried to assure her that she has done a right decision, but before that she would’ve been off-limits.
Troppus and others. You really seem to concentrate too much on this decision part. It’s not cold calculations unless one does it by Your long procedure.
And now, after this I won’t even read this thread, 'cause I’m afraid what I might tell next time… I’m already half-regretting this post…
I like to feel desired. KIDDING… When a women is married she starts to feel like she is not hot anymore. So once in a blue moon a man like you comes along and makes her feel like she still has it!
Because during my generation, we didn’t go to clubs to try to find mates among a bunch of strangers. At least, not where I grew up and from what I understand, not here either.
Or, it could be so rare as to be practically non-existent and you got lucky!
If you mean that the mild-mannered guys are the ones who don’t hit on women with the goal of getting them into bed asap, then you have a contradiction there. Lots of men talk to me like I’m a regular human and I have quite a few male friends. It’s the creeps who hit on a woman - most of them are young or younger, but yes there are those who have never grown up, and if they are single they’ll hit on anything female. Or they are married but their wife “doesn’t understand them”. It gets exhausting - one of the few good things about growing old is that I don’t have to deal with that any more! 
I don’t believe a woman can change a man, I believe that for the most part when a man finds the woman that “fits” him, he changes from being a hunter of tail to an adult.
Speak for yourself. I never felt less hot after I got married.
This is what I think is creepy. You built up this whole elaborate fantasy around a life with her and when you find it isn’t going to happen you react in an inappropriate manner to what should be an EXTREMELY MINOR disappointment, one so minor you shouldn’t even remember it after 5 minutes have passed
What if she wasn’t married but had no interest in spending time with you, learning to play the guitar or having an everyday life with you? What if she hated TV and guitar music?? What if the unspecified “stuff” you want to learn from her ( and you have no idea what it is because you have no idea what her interests are) bore you to tears – maybe her big interest is collectible dolls or something.
I can always tell when a man has developed a fantasy around me that has nothing to do with me or who I am and it is the biggest turn-off ever, up there with stalking.