Dear Domino's: shut the fuck up. Seriously.

I get it. You had some study commissioned that put your sandwiches ahead of Subway’s. Fine. You told me that a few times. Okay, if a little annoying. You told me eight times. Shut up! You told me how Subway told you to stop running those ads, and you burn the letter they sent you in a commercial. Good God, shut the fuck up! Just for that, I’m going to go to Subway and buy one of their sandwiches.

Sounds like you watch too much television.

Well damn, I could have told you that, and I wouldn’t need a study to do it.

It’s not like we’re setting the bar really high. (I know, some people love Subway. My personal experience there has been Suboptimal.)

Wait, Domino’s - the pizza place - has sandwiches? I had no idea. Maybe they need to advertise more.

Wow! Who would have thought a sandwich devoid of vegetables and stuffed with more meat, cheese, and butter tastes better? What groundbreaking research!

I’d say you need a Tivo, but my main Tivo screen has been telling me lately that I can order Domino’s pizza by Tivo. I wish I could give that a thumbs-down, since Domino’s pizza is by far the crappiest non-institutional pizza I’ve had. Are the sandwiches bad, too?

But have they fed them to sandwich virgins in Siberia? What did they think?

I haven’t eaten a Domino’s sandwich, but based on the commercial I’m not surprised that on some survey people said they tasted better than Subway’s. Every Domino’s sandwich in the commercial is dripping with melted cheese and meat on a glistening rub roll. Sure that’ll taste better than, say, a turkey sandwich at Subway, but it’s not really apples and apples now, is it?

Er, or what filmore said.

It’s not hard to be better than Subway… And Domino’s is probably glad that they’re better than somebody. I sure know their pizza ranks last…

Seriously. Subway is healthy. That’s the whole point (because it’s certainly not the taste keeping them going).

I’d be interested in seeing a study that pitted Domino’s sandwiches against Quizno’s. I’m sure Domino’s wouldn’t be advertising the results of that one.

And I agree, Domino’s pizza is awful.

Well, some of their subs are (and yes, as a whole they’re more healthier than Domino’s is gonna be). The “6 grams of fat or less” means no cheese (which hardly anyone I’ve seen does) and no mayo. And I’ve seen enough people go to Subway and get a footlong meatball (1120 calories) or footlong tuna (1060) and say how they’re eating healthy today. Heh.

But yes, still better than most of Domino’s offerings.

If Dominos can’t even get PIZZA right (I won’t even eat FREE Dominos, it’s that hideous), why would I want to eat one of their sandwiches?

I submit to you that a footlong meatball or tuna sub will be more healthful and filling than two Big Macs.

Also, am I the only person in the world who likes the taste of Subway sandwiches?

No, I like them as well, at least if I don’t go to one with stale bread that flakes all over the table. Or the one with the girl who works there and who’s is somehow amazingly condecending for someone who makes fucking sandwiches all day.

I can’t stand the things. There’s one a block from work (and not much else) but it doesn’t even register in my brain as an option, price and convenience be damned.

I love Subway sandwiches. I went through a period in the past few years where I ate there almost every weekday. Now it’s more like once or twice a week, but I still enjoy them. I think their bread is very good, and I like being able to put my own ingredients in the sandwich the way I like them (lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, olives). I have tried Quizno’s and did not like all the glop they put on their subs. It looks to me like Domino’s is probably the same.

Captain Carrot, you do need to back away from the commercials. If Tivo is not an option, just do like I do and change the channel or hit the mute button every time one comes on. You’ll be amazed at how much more relaxing it is to watch TV.

I like Domino’s Pizza, but I can understand why people wouldn’t. It’s so greasy that it could be considered disgusting, but, for me, it’s a guilty pleasure.

I’m still not eating their damn sandwich, though. Domino’s is for pizza.

Man, I’d be stuffed after two Big Macs. But yeah, I’d be MORE stuffed with a footlong… from Subways, people! Get yer mind outta the gutter!

I don’t like Subway because I don’t really eat meat and 99% of Subways around here have “salad in a bun” for their veggie option. Blech. At least the one closest to me has the veggie burger/bean patty option, which is nice and pretty tasty.