Dear God,

In My Humble Opinion
1

Dear God, or anyone that is listening,

How can I get everything I want in life and also make the world happy and end suffering and not feel bad when I have accomplished all of my goals yet somolians and such go hungery and have no hope of becoming proffesional hockey players becasue they were unfortunatly born in poor ass third world contries?
How can I ratiaonalize the world that is so vast and there are 6.5 billion people in the world that all want to make it too the top but truth be told they never will>? How can I be the greatest human that ever lived? What do I need to do to become a God myself? Who was the happiest, most content person that ever lived? Who was the least happiest least content? Thanks for everyting so far, - Hope i live a hundred years more - sinceraly me,.

2

Due to the extremely unlikely possibility that you will get a factual answer to this question from God, I am moving this to IMHO.

3

The day is short, the task is great, the workers are sluggish, the wages are generous and I am insistent. You are not required to complete the work, but neither are you free to neglect it

HTH

God

4

Why are they hungry when they have all those somolians?

5

Margaret?

6

If you listen to me you will live to 200 years.

7

I suspect that one or more posters need to look up the words somalian and simoleon.

8

Join my cult. Begin by selling all your worldly possesions and giving all your money to me. Then shave your head and get a sack cloth robe. Once those things are done, get back to me.

9

Some people say suffering and pain and struggle are all here for a reason. Read up on them, and get back to me.

–God

10

Dear God,

Hope you get the letter and
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don’t mean a big reduction in the price of beer.
But all the people that you made in your image
See them starving in the street
'Cause they don’t get enough to eat from god…

11

Dear God (or godlike entity)

could you make a rock so big that even You couldn’t lift it?
corrolary question…
could you microwave a burrito so hot that You Yourself could not eat it?

and could you please explain the Babel fish, it couldn’t have evolved by chance

12

If I’d spelled it correctly, it wouldn’t have been funny. Not that it was all that funny to begin with, but you’ve managed to extract even the smallest smidge of humor and pedant it to death. Happy?

13

And oh, by the way Mr. Spellcheck, it’s Somalian.

14

The word for the day is ‘Somalia’. Here, I’ll use it in a sentence.

‘This place is too crowded. Somalia gotta leave!’

15

Dear OP,

Learn to use spell check and the shift key or smiting will begin.

Og

16

Keep your desires to a minimum.
Stop watching and reading news sources.
Be kind at every opportunity.
Practice living in the moment.
We’re all the same person.
(See above.)
You’re (we’re) welcome.
Have an excellent moment.

– Godene

17

“Thou art God.” – Valentine Michael Smith

18

Do what you can, when you can. Don’t harden your heart to others, but don’t abandon your life for despair. Leave the world happier than you found it.

19

You forgot to add: Sober up before posting.