Dear NBC,

You know, I’ve never been a huge fan of friends, but I’ve always really enjoyed it when I’ve been able to catch an episode. Since it’s run in syndication is quite…um…all the fucking time…I’ve been able to keep up with the the goings on of our quirky little click.

But here’s the thing. It’s a comedy, folks. I watch it for the laughs. It’s a respite, plain and simple. And I’m finding myself resenting the hell out of your idiotic promotion of this entire LAST season (I’m sorry, for the folks who are living in their garage or inside a hefty bag, let me explain…it’s their LAST season OF FRIENDS, AS IN DONE, FINISHED, THE END, THAT’S IT, KAPUT, PUT-THE-CAP-ON-THE-KETCHUP, THAT-PIZZA-WILL-MAKE-YOU-SICK, THERE’S-NOT-ENOUGH- GRANULES-TO-DO-A-FULL-LOAD DONE).

I mean, we get it already. Yeah, a lot of people liked the show, but here’s a tidbit: I, personally, liked it because it’s funny. If I want to re-live gut wrenching drama of saying goodbye to people in my life, I’ll just access my memory bank, thankyouverymuch.

Just knock it off already.

I never could get into Friends. Waaay to culturally diverse for me…

Amen. The last few years, if all you saw of Friends were the commercials, there’s no way you’d be able to tell it was supposed to be a comedy.

“Chandler and Monica face their greatest challenge yet…” [as they hug each other in slow motion] …“And Rachel must decide who she truly wants to be with.” [Ross and Rachel’s boy toy of the week turn their heads toward the camera in succession. Also in slow motion.]

Gimme a break.

I liked exactly one bit that Friends ever did: Phoebe says that she really likes that love song that Elton John wrote for Who’s The Boss?, you know, that song that goes “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.” Otherwise, I think the entire series is a steaming pile of poo.