I never thought the letters I read here were true until the the other day when…
I was at the (X) and having a conversation with this gorgeous (Y) and before you know it…
Then her sister walked in…
…along with her entire sorority…
…juggling an assortment of vegetables…
…so we drank a couple of fifths of bourbon…
…then I remebered the whipped cream…
…At which point my giant one eyed trousers anaconda became harder than quantum mechanics in Chinese…
So I grabbed the whipped cream, made a salad with the vegetables, and went back to the sorority house to toss them together. When we got there…
… three midget call girls and a yak were waiting for us. We proceeded to …
don our Ernest Borgnine latex masks and Mr. T gold chains. We turned up the stereo so as to fill the room with the silky and seductive sounds of…
Frank Zappa’s “Joe’s Garage”. The midgets and the yak broke out the…
The Dark Side of the Moon while we watched The Wizard of Oz.
I volunteered to be the Lollipop Guild.
Did I forget to mention that I’m a student at a large midwestern university? Anyway, turns out the yak has the biggest…
…appetite you’ve ever seen, it just devoured all the veggies in seconds. So I asked the Sororites President if she had any amazing talents to share…
…and that’s when she grabbed a pair of cucumbers and a quart of Crisco. She told me sit back and enjoy the show while…
…and she showed me how to make an entire suit of clothing out of tinfoil. Things like this NEVER happen to me! Well, the doorbell rang, and…
…the pizza guy showed up holding his 16"…
…machete. He saw the yak, remembered the final scene from Apocalypse Now, and lifted the blade…
…Performing the world’s first Yak Briss and discovering a tasty new pizza topping all at once!
We all ate the whole thing, and I was so hungry I was eyeingthe empty pizza box which still had some cheese and grease in it.
I asked the pizza guy with a smile “You like to munch box?”
A heady silence descended the room as…