Dear Roommate ...

Do you have any idea how revolting it is to have to listen to the person sitting next to you eating a salad with her mouth open? I hope to Gods you don’t, because if you’re doing it intentionally there’s gonna be trouble here in the Studio of Iniquity.

Your pal,

Damn I hate it when people do that too. Bubble gum, popcorn in the movie theater (especially!), dinner, whatever. It’s not hard to close your mouth when you chew!

Unfortunately, it’s not taken well even if you say something to someone you’re really close to (like an SO), so with someone like a roommate it’s hard with a ten foot pole! I feel for you Dragon.

I know how you feel, Blinkie- my old roommate used to do that too. Pretzels were the worst.

crunch crunch crunch smack crunch gulp smack rustle rustle crunch crunch gulp crunch smack … ad nauseam.