I want one of these for Christmas
I’m sure I’m responsible enough to use it and can resist the urge to see what else I could use it on…
OMG! That is awesome it would make my yard work a breeze! And free mulch too!
I’m sorry, but Santa says it’s back-ordered. Would you like a pony instead.
Zombies - you know - if the worst should happen (and it will happen).
I want one of these:
(And a knitted dinosaur onesie to dress it in)
Can I put it through the mulcher? 
(I would never do that, I may not be a fan of equines, but I certainly wouldn’t want to see them harmed in any way, I’ll just keep ignoring them instead)
I’ll just run it over a Toyota Prius instead, I hate those stupid excuses for cars…
Make sure the kids and dogs are inside first.
Fuck that! I’d take it to the Soccer field. Then the dog park!
Yeah, but could it take out Star Trek’s Doomsday Machine?
Hell no! If I was lucky enough to be on the good list & get one this year, I’d be on the naughty list [del]next year[/del] the rest of my life. :o
I do like the idea of chasing people in it, trying to catch them with the arm as they flee in panic.
There is almost no more perfect quote than;
Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds
If you make it up here can I be your acolyte?
If thine tree offend thee; pluck it out. Forestries 14:4
It’s a good thing Arthur Anderson LLP didn’t have one during the Enron meltdown. There wouldn’t have been any paperwork left at all.
There would have been lots of paperwork, teeny tiny strips of paperwork all over the place. Then they could have arrested them for littering. 
Besides, how are you going to get the excavator into the freight elevator? Or would you just send a lot of paper airplanes to their death?
They should call it the crazy, nasty-ass honey badger; that thing just does not give a shit, it takes what it wants and eats it.