"Dear" Teenage Boy 1 and 2:

a) No, the pretzels on the top shelf are for display. I’m really sorry, but I can’t sell them to you.

b) Yes, I can make you fresh new pretzels while you wait for your movie to start, in about five to six minutes.

c) No, I can’t make them any faster. I really am sorry, but that’s how long they take to cook.

d) …Er, no, I can’t give you the last guy’s order. Not even if you wave your crumpled five-dollar bill in my face.

e) No, I’m not a cold-hearted bitch.

f) No, you may not come around the counter and poke around in the display case “just to see if the pretzels [on the top shelf] were really fresh after all”, what the freaking fuck.
Hoping you both do a George W. Bush on your pretzels,
**Kythereia **

Personally I think movie-theater style pretzels are the only good for which bribery is a morally excusable action. Sometimes I think I’d save money by skipping the movie altogether. :smiley:

Seriously, did they call you a cold-hearted bitch?

I would have said, “what a fucking freak,” but whatever works for you. It kind of reminds me fo my ex-wife’s nephew, though. If there was anything that he wanted and couldn’t have, he would approach it as a problem that everyone should work together to solve.

You should have just told him the display pretzels were plastic, like in Japan where all the food in restaurant windows is plastic replicas.

You should’ve sold them the stale ones. That’d learn 'em!

[Hijack]
I thought the display dishes were real samples, just freeze dried and varnished.
[/Hijack]

Oh, Lord, what a perfect description of the self-absorbed!

a) Yes, I can sell you those. I’m willing to do this only because they’ll make you sterile. And since they’re stale and moldy, they’ll turn your nuts into prunes. That’ll be fifty bucks each, please.

b) Good choice. The great thing is that I get to chat with you for five or six minutes while fresh ones cook. Say, do you guys ever wear each others socks?

c) M’hm, yes, I can cook them faster. Let me just lean over here and squint while I blast them with my heat vision. Damn, I can never do that when my bacterial menengitis is acting up. Haaaaa-chooo! Excuse me.

d) The last guy’s order? Sure. Just go let him know for me, will you? He’s the three-hundred pound guy over there in the trench coat taking pictures of you two with his cell phone.

e) Yeah, but sometimes I wish I were an empty headed bucket of come, so I could impress my dumbass friends by acting like I’d never been in a movie theater before. I envy you.

f) Sure, just fill this out and if you ace the interview, you can come around all you like. This big word is “employment”. And this one is “application”.

[nitpick] Actually, “application” is the bigger word.[/nitpick]

:wink:

You pass the test! Come on down!

[nitpick[sup]2[/sup]]Liberal didn’t say which one was bigger.[/nitpick[sup]2[/sup]]

:stuck_out_tongue: