Dec the Halls with Rants and Howling

We used to have some neighbors that had an inflatable Mickey Mouse, dressed in a Santa outfit, posed sitting on the ground with some presents between his legs. Mickey had a big happy grin - it was very festive and all. Sadly, the gizmo that was supposed to keep it inflated did not have quite enough oomph to keep Mickey totally inflated. It had almost enough oomph though, so over the course of a minute or so, Mickey would slooooooooooooooowly collapse forward, burying his happy smile in his own groinal area, only to have the inflater-gizmo kick back in and zip him back to his fully upright position. The cycle then repeated. It resembled nothing so much as Mr. Mouse attempting to give his own self head.

So every Christmas season until we moved, my husband and I were treated to a month of Fellatio Mickey. We miss Fellatio Mickey - it lent a certain. . . . ambiance to the season.

Last week, while curling my hair, I got the iron too close to my forehead and it left a little burn mark.

A couple of days ago, I actually lost my grip on the hot curling iron. It was still wound up in my hair, so it swung forward and bounced off my cheek, leaving a nice red stripe.

This is me, “Durr I’m gonna be pretty…ow ow ow!” :smack:

Are we related?

Not if you are able to make barrettes stay in your hair. :smiley:

My daughter’s child care center failed to notify me last week that a child in her class had lice. LICE! They hid the notice on the back of the classroom door and printed it on red holiday paper so it would blend in with other decorations.

I called the regional manager this morning and yelled at her about how irresponsible it was of her local program director to not call parents and warn them to be on the lookout for this. I’m disgusted, and I’m looking for a new place to put my kids - one is in Preschool, and the other goes for before and after care around her day in first grade. There aren’t many places that can accommodate us around here, so I’m kind of freaking out.

I brought home the little one’s blanket and pillow last Friday and washed it with other laundry; I’m afraid that it’s now commingled with everything in my house. Yuck.

No, I can’t either.
Sistah.

Look folks. The sun’s barely over the horizon, which means it is still dark out.

We have a nice, DENSE fog bank covering pretty much the eastern half of the state, which is where we are.

Would it KILL YOU to TURN ON YOUR FUCKING HEADLIGHTS SO I CAN FUCKING SEE WHERE YOUR FUCKING CAR IS?

(Answer: It may not kill you to turn them on, but it way well GET YOU KILLED if you DON’T.)

We get a lice notice from the school like every month. They usually staple them to the kids’ bags, so we can’t miss them, but they don’t call us or anything.

I wouldn’t take my kids out of an otherwise good place just because of this - specially since you’ve made the point that they need to make the notices more, well, noticeable. Lice are gonna happen anywhere. I just always assume that someone in the class has lice, keep my kids’ hair tied up and sprayed with (probably useless) lice repellent, and keep an eye out every time I brush their hair.

A quick Google tells me lice are killed in laundry by 5 minutes exposure to 130F or greater. If the stuff goes in a hot water wash and high dry, done.

It’s a fairly common thing for kids in any kind of school or care or playground situation, no? When we were kids, my step-sister got lice and I got pinworms. Neither was a big deal.

I don’t work with kids, I work with animals. People get unreasonably worked up about fleas, too. Yes there’s extra house work to get rid of them, but parasites are a fact of life. Lots of people seem to prefer the idea of setting it all on fire and moving. OK. Can still take them with you!!

[quote=“StarvingButStrong, post:115, topic:739049”]

Fair point. The only parent being obnoxious was the mother, however.

I’d like the think if it was the father acting like a boor, I’d roll out the “shoulda used a condom, fella” smack.

[quote=“russian_heel, post:130, topic:739049”]

Okay, reasonable enough. Thanks for the explanation.

Boy, that’s some messed up quoting.

I am SO SICK of Star Wars. Before this Christmas I wasn’t a huge fan but liked it and didn’t have any issue with it. Now it’s EVERYWHERE. Add to that peoples’ expressions and comments when I say I’m not that interested and you’d think I’d just told them I kill babies. I get that people enjoy it and I’m not going to crap on them, but it’s ok to NOT like it.

Rant:

“Your Package has been shipped!”

Fornicator-of-the-parental-unit, please! When I click the link, I discover that the package has NOT actually been shipped. It has had a label printed on it and FEDEX has been notified for pickup, but it has NOT been shipped. A more appropriate notification would be “Your package has been marked for shipping and is now trackable!”

Drives me crazy.

You really can just say motherfucker.

I need some death metal Christmas carols.

Will Alice Cooper do?

Dethklok doing Little Drummer Boy. I am in danger of sentimental diabetes, I need some bitter nihilism, get my chi back in balance.

Brutal.

How about a little Sugar Plum Fairy?