Declanium, just so you know, here in NC where vaping is widespread and pot use is also all over the place (great universities and Research Triangle Park, anyone?), 1 pod of THC vape runs $70 through adult-to-adult channels. a kid could easily be expected to pay $80-100. I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who, a business owner at 45 years old, along with her business-owning PhD husband, goes through one pod per week. A couple of tokes, then off to bed. Just a couple tokes.
They’d burn through a grand in 3 months.
In NY, a kid getting it from a guy he knows, could spend a grand and still only smoke once or twice a week in 10 months.
Like many others here, I smoked when I was in high school. I kept on smoking, not because I was addicted, but…and this is important, so I’m gonna type slow…because it felt good. Marijuana is considered a euphoric because it makes you feel happy. Surely there are things you do for that reason? Baking cookies with your sons sounds like one of them. Remember, these are kids. Bucking authority is what they do. It’s what kids have always done. It’s what their kids will do when they grow up, meet a relatively normal person, get married, buy a house, and settle down. Just like many people in this and the linked thread.
So to sum up: SMOKING WEED AS A TEENAGER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE
I stopped smoking in my 30s. Considering picking it back up again once it’s legalized. I have a great wife, a great job, and I’m a happy person. I’m not even special! One of the most average folk you’ll ever meet. The chances are FAR better that your kids will either grow out of it, or they won’t and they’ll still thrive.
There are a few things you said that I’d like to address:
1: It’s very good that you acknowledge you see things in terms of black and white. Sometimes life would be easier if everything were binary, but they’re not. In fact, there are so many shades of grey, I’m not even sure black and white exist in most situations.
2: That is demonstrably not the case. Many people around here have been trying to explain this with first-person examples. Surely that counteracts the 23 year old son of your sister’s friend that you heard of. I promise you–PROMISE you that people you know, people you like, people you admire even, take a couple of hits now and again. Statistics show that 22% of adults use marijuana. That’s 1 in 5. (Yes, I see the bit which talks about household earning and college completion. I also see the bit about how many millennials there are. Factor that in, and the correlation between pot use and household income is perhaps irrelevant).
3: I’d like to call your attention to your use of the word “may.” Three letters, but a BIG word nonetheless. Yes. They may be grappling with a substance abuse disorder. They also may not be. Even if it’s a 50-50 chance, you don’t have to see the glass as half empty. With a hole in it.
To a degree, we, as human beings, have the liberty of deciding what bothers us. We decide what we focus (or fixate) on. If you feel that this is not something within your control, then there are issues that need to be addressed which have nothing to do with your sons. If it IS within your control, then you have to ask yourself, “What’s more important to me: my family, or my opinions?”
Look. I get it. I really do. You feel that you’re disappointed in them.
But what you said in your original post in the original thread,
tells me more than any of your other posts.
You’re angry with them because you feel that you failed. Failed as a mom. I’ll let you in on a secret. You didn’t fail.
From what you’ve told us about them, they’re kind. They’re loving. They’re fun to be around.
In my opinion, you succeeded. You’re a good mom. You’ve raised good kids. Maybe not flawless, but who among us were perfect kids? Please try to put what’s likely a harmless phase into context. It’ll do you, and them, and your family as a whole, a world of good.