Are we back to where we started yet?
You need to tell you therapist this is your plan.
They are CHILDREN exploring being a grownup, exploring their world. The way you are handling this is appalling to me. As I said in the other thread, my non-smoking (anything), non-drinking physician husband smoked a lot of weed, did a fair amount of coke, got stinking drunk a LOT as a teenager. He had his fun as a kid, and then in college realized it was time to get serious in life. He quit everything cold turkey and hasn’t looked back since. He went through med school, residency, and a fellowship successfully. He’s a private pilot, he exercises every day, he’s warm and engaging and interested in LIFE, not the drugs he did as a kid.
You keep this attitude up and when you are old and frail and in need, your successful, well adjusted sons will dump you in a smelly nursing home and leave you to the often indifferent care of strangers.
If that were only true, iiandyiiii
But it’s not.
No amount of love can keep someone from drugs.
As I found out on Christmas.
They knew I loved them.
And they still did drugs.
The love of my in-laws and my love for my boyfriend (as he was then) made my husband see the light. He was in his 20’s, so your kids have time - if you’ll give it to them.
If you cut them off now you will be harming them FAR FAR worse than the weed will ever do.
Love hurts but it’s worth it.
Why wait until they are out of the house? Why not just cut them off now? Stop telling them that you love them, stop spending any time with them. Just tell them that you’re no longer their mother. It will be easier if you end it now, rather than waiting.
Saje, I have saved up for my old age -
Wasn’t going to depend on them for my care.
And now that I don’t have to worry about leaving a lot of money behind, I’m even more flush.
Would be a true nightmare to leave behind a wad of money for them to smoke it all. Not. Gonna. Happen.
If it’s so easy and painless to just cut them off, I do wonder at how you define love.
You plan to save yourself from the future pain that may or may not come to pass by subjecting your children to the immediate pain of abandonment, which they deserve for betraying you by smoking marijuana?
They will continue to use the crap.
So no, not in my life.
I am sorry your view of the world is so black-and-white. And I am sorry for the pain you are deliberately choosing to inflict on your family.
Will pay for their college but once out of house, smoke til you reap the consequences of your actions.
I am not required to watch someone die or suffer.
Especially since I had warned them that it would happen eventually.
You are either trolling or projecting someone else’s actions onto your children. I vote trolling, because statements like the above are so over the top.
They chose drugs, Cochrane. I didn’t.
As a matter of fact, I strongly advised against it.
Why would you pay for their college? Just kick them out of the house when they turn eighteen.
My husband will want to pay for it.
We’ve been saving since they were babies.
Believe me, I know it’s a waste of time and money but…
So let your husband pay for their college out of his money. Why would you want to be involved?
You’re obviously overlooking the stories from Dopers who have smoked weed and still are happy, successful adults. Many of them even no longer smoke. Face it, it may not be legal where you live, but recreational marijuana is legal for adults 21 years old and older in many states and medicinal marijuana is legal in many more. It’s a drug, yes, but it is increasingly being recognized by society as not all that harmful. You seem to believe it will turn your sons into rapists, thieves, or murders when that is not likely to be the case.
You chose to be an ignorant asshole who is making the world a worse place to be.