Riotous article from The Onion.
New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters
With funding from dozens of news outlets and media companies, the groundbreaking Outkube.com launched this week, providing an online destination where pandering and incendiary content is used to lure moronic Internet commenters away from all other websites.
According to sources, Outkube boasts thousands of articles and forums carefully crafted to draw in dim-witted web users and effectively quarantine obtuse, uninformed comments on topics such as gay rights, Ryan Gosling, the threat of Sharia law in the U.S., health care reform, whether Kobe is better than LeBron, Jewish control of the government and media, the New York Jets, the Second Amendment, and professional wrestler John Cena.
Most stories on the site are reportedly preloaded with several witless and profanity-laden comments specially designed to incite retaliatory remarks.
In addition, sources confirmed that each day Outkube’s software produces dozens of new pop-culture rankings, such as “The 10 Most Underrated Bands” or “The 15 Best Sci-Fi Movies Of All Time,” which have been shown to occupy some of the Internet’s most obnoxious commenters indefinitely, freeing the remainder of the web for actual rational discourse. The new site also caters to its target demographic with a corps of full-time bloggers including Geraldo Rivera, Rosie O’Donnell, and Spencer Pratt.
Hawk then demonstrated a feature that detects when a user has been idle for more than 15 seconds and automatically triggers a pop-up window containing a photograph of a woman whom the user is asked to rate on a scale of “fugly cunt” to “totally boneable,” a tactic that prevents 9 of 10 idiots from leaving the website, according to internal statistics.
If only it could work in reality!
The Jews are behind this right?
Well, someone is going to give it a try…outkube.com
Funny! Someone followed through; now there is a Outkube.com (owned by Domains by Proxy, Inc.) just as the Onion article describes. The starting posts may be trolling, but many comments seem to be from typical Internet idiots.
I got caught by Poe’s Law. I clicked on a video of Victoria Jackson (whom I’d never heard of), watched for a few minutes until I learned she was an SNL comedian, and then deduced the video was a farce. I Wiki’ed to see if she had more funny parodies to watch … and (unless it’s part of a spoof?) Wikipedia says she really is a Tea Party right-winger. :smack:
mhendo
October 25, 2011, 12:20am
5
Surely this was done by The Onion?
Anyway, i love some of the topics, some of which have had a run here before.
“Soccer is the only real sport there is, period.”
I thought Yahoo Answers and YouTube comments were to draw stupid people away from the rest of the internet?
She’s trolling us all, right? I mean, surely no one is really that misinformed and clueless… right?
Please PLEASE tell me she’s just playing some long practical joke?
Heh, YouTube comments make the snark boards look like the Athenaeum Club with George Bernard Shaw and Oscar Wilde doing their take on “the dozens”.
